9YOD Pubescent GC of neighbour running around with bra top & 'Booty shorts'

[Idratherreadabookthanks]

I'm sorry for any errors, but am victim of abuse a child as wad DH, so probably a bit more sensitive to these things than others. For context: .We live in a gated community for over 60's. We love to share our neighbour's GC.

'Eve' has walked our dog for many years. She's taken her for a walk around the estate for about 4 years 'Eve' is now aged 9 over-weight. She's obviously a ' clever girl & doing well at school; But she's rather developed for her age.

This afternoon he appears wearing a bra top & 'bootie' shorts. which I thought tonally inappropriate for a child of her age. I told her that she should to go back to he G parent's house & get changed into something into a tee shirt rather than the bra top. She came back wearing on over-sized tee shirt which I felt more appropriate for someone of her age.

I then went to help a neighbour with her husband who has dementia & left DH to deal with 'Eve' .

GP have have since knocked on our door asking why we made their GC cover up. which was (they feel) was unacceptable. DH said we would never allow our Grand-daughters to go visiting neighbours half naked. He pointed out that, despite her young years, that 'Eve' is becoming a young woman now & they need to protect her.

Opinions please.

What is the relevance of her being overweight OP?

It's not your place to tell someone else's child how to dress.

You are the ones projecting sexual connotations onto a very young child’s clothing. The fact you had to include detail on her weight is very telling.

You should be deeply ashamed of yourselves and I hope her grandparents keep her far away from you both.

And she is at 9.

It sounds as though OP is making her an adult with the 'pubescent' and 'overweight' staff.

It wasn't heels and a corset!

Adult lingerie is a bit different to a bralet and shorts.

The weight stuff definitely isn’t relevant and was unnecessary. I don’t think that kids should be dressed as the OP described though.

Booty shorts are adult clothing

You massively over stepped the mark here. While your intentions were good it wasn't for you to tell her how to dress

Exactly.

The sexualised image is in your head @Idratherreadabookthanks or are you concerned about your husband finding a 9 year old sexually attractive?

Well done for making her feel bad though. That's what you've done. You've affected her confidence.

You both need therapy.

Christ OP you dont actually think what you did was ok? You told a child (that you are in no way related to) she should be covering her body..... did you even think about the message this sends to her?

That her body isnt her own
That she should be ashamed
That predators actions are her responsibility

She is young so hopefully you havent done any lasting damage but you and your partner sound like absolute nightmares and frankly a bit creepy

I don't think it was your place to say anything, however her parents should buy appropriate clothing for her. The outfit you describe is in my opinion not acceptable.

You mentioned her weight which was unnecessary and quite telling, you shamed a 9 year old and obviously made her feel bad enough for her gp's to have a word with you. No matter how you feel about her clothing it is not your place to comment to her, if you can't help but judge her just stay away. Also you mention that both you and your dh suffered abuse, did your clothing have anything to do with that or did it help to protect you? Surely you realise predators don't care what a child wears.

Time to walk your own dog I think! #nutternextdoor

I'm sorry but you sound weird OP.
Why are you staring down other people's prepubescent kids and commenting on their clothing.
Do you find it sexual? Why do you care?

When I see children running round semi clothed I just ignore it. Same as I do with adult in bathing suits or scanty shorts.

Why would it impact on you what another person wears? Just look away.

It wasn’t your place to say and you’ve insulted what she is wearing (which can effect self-esteem) and also insulted your friends by suggesting they don’t know what is best for their Grand daughter when she is in their care. It is going to have come across as superior and judgemental and might make them question why you wanted her covered up around your DH.

I can see your intentions were good and I wouldn’t allow my child to wear such things at that age, but it is up to the parents/grandparents to vocalise.

You’ve really really overstepped. Sorry.

not ok to say anything to kids you are not related to.

Not your place. You might have had a word with the grandparents, but ultimately it’s not their place either. It’s hard enough for girls going into puberty that young without every adult policing their appearance. Yes, predatory adults might get off on seeing her in that outfit, but she will now definitely be starting to learn to be ashamed of her body. Badly done.

Fucking hell!!! 😱🤯

Congratulations for body shaming a 9 year old!

YAB MASSIVELY U!

I have assumed the outfit is like this. I see lots of little girls in this kind of outfit.

How is this in any way provocative or innapropriate?

I expect so.

Since when is a 9 year old girl 'a young woman'.

She was doing you a favour, and youve body shamed her and accused her grandparents of not protecting her and sending her round half naked.
You are the ones sexualising a little girl.

That’s certainly not what I know booty shorts to be. The pic you have posted is absolutely fine.

No but it can sadly get a predator off the hook in a court of law.

OP I think we should allow women to wear what they want, but equally I can understand the protection thing. We’re in a messy place where we want to protect girls and women but equally they should be allowed to do what they want without being told that makes them wrong and at risk. It’s all a big old fucking mess.

She isn’t your daughter or even your granddaughter. This was none of your business. You’ve upset a little girl and your neighbours for absolutely no good outcome. Except apparently some weird sense of judgemental superiority over a child you think is overweight. Badly done I’m afraid.

Personally I don’t like to see little girls wearing hijabs. I also don’t like to see little girls wearing bra tops. But I would never say so to the child or parents. Not my place.

YABU twice over - body shaming a 9 year old AND letting her walk your dog since she was 4! You should never leave a child that young alone with a dog.

Or so you mean you walk round with her and didn’t want to be seen with her in her “pre-teen hooker” look?