9YOD Pubescent GC of neighbour running around with bra top & 'Booty shorts'

[Idratherreadabookthanks]

I'm sorry for any errors, but am victim of abuse a child as wad DH, so probably a bit more sensitive to these things than others. For context: .We live in a gated community for over 60's. We love to share our neighbour's GC.

'Eve' has walked our dog for many years. She's taken her for a walk around the estate for about 4 years 'Eve' is now aged 9 over-weight. She's obviously a ' clever girl & doing well at school; But she's rather developed for her age.

This afternoon he appears wearing a bra top & 'bootie' shorts. which I thought tonally inappropriate for a child of her age. I told her that she should to go back to he G parent's house & get changed into something into a tee shirt rather than the bra top. She came back wearing on over-sized tee shirt which I felt more appropriate for someone of her age.

I then went to help a neighbour with her husband who has dementia & left DH to deal with 'Eve' .

GP have have since knocked on our door asking why we made their GC cover up. which was (they feel) was unacceptable. DH said we would never allow our Grand-daughters to go visiting neighbours half naked. He pointed out that, despite her young years, that 'Eve' is becoming a young woman now & they need to protect her.

Opinions please.

I've never considered "prancing about" to have the same meaning and implication to "walking around looking for something to do". I'd say appropriate use of language is key in this situation, but if you think those two phrases mean the same thing then righto.

If we move away from the shorts for just a minute, I think it’s highly relevant that I have posted a pic discussing a previous campaign by this very chat forum discussing the problem of children wearing inappropriate, sexualised clothing.

Some of the people posting on here need to move away from their position that everyone should be able to do exactly what they want whenever they want and look at the bigger picture and the world we live in.

This is what I came to say. If I found out my parents/in laws had allowed my kids to end up alone in a house with some random bloke who happened to live nearby it would be the last time they saw them without supervision from me or my partner.

Gosh, it’s almost like different people have different tastes, standards of modesty in public and dress sense.

And I don’t think I used the word inappropriate either - why are you so determined to take offence to things in my posts that just aren’t there?

There's nothing protective about policing a child's clothing and to say that is pretty close to victim blaming. The logic is that certain clothing attracts predators and so you can keep yourself safe if you cover up (wishful thinking, sadly).

I can't find a way to make the statement that the outfit is not appropriate because she's "becoming a young woman" (whereas it would be ok if she was a less developed/slimmer 9 yo?) sexualising a child.

Also this girl was walking a dog alone around the estate since she was 5? Did I read that right?

I never said I took any offence to your posts or your opinions.

Not intending to be goady or argumentative. Apologise if that’s how it came across.

Honestly asking why someone would think it’s not okay to show a stomach in public? I don’t understand what is wrong with a stomach. Or why anyone would think it’s not acceptable to be seen in public.

Would be genuinely interested to understand someone’s viewpoint that seems the opposite to my own viewpoint.

You mention she was overweight and that you felt it was appropriate for her to wear an oversized t-shirt. Why does she need to hide in baggy clothes?

Do you really think we should have no say over children’s clothing? Really?

You think some random elderly couple who live in the same estate as a child’s grandparents should have a say over how a child dresses?
You can control your own children’s clothing, not the clothing of some child you aren’t even related to and seem to have some truly bizarre relationship with!
I mean who lets a child you barely know walk your dog for you at 5 years old??

I’m not talking about the OP and her husband.

You can wear a shirt over a training bra. I disagree that op or her spouse sexualized the child, they are trying to protect her from pedos doing that. They could have talked to the gps instead, but child sexual abuse is obviously horrific and should be prevented at all costs.

I'm not saying that skimpy clothes leads to abuse, but why would anyone make it easier to look at a kid in that way.

I think that saying a nine year old girl is ‘becoming a young woman’ is a sexualising statement.

You and your DH are being really creepy about this. A nine-year-old is a ‘young woman’ in your eyes? You’re taking note of how her body is developing?

Also, you say this nine year old has been walking your dog for four years. Are you seriously saying you let a five-year-old take your dog for a walk on her own?

This whole post is weird and frankly a bit suspect.

Perfectly OK to have a say over your OWN child’s clothing. Absolutely fucking not OK to be policing the clothing of other people’s children.

I don’t agree with this. Leaving a child alone with a man is significantly higher risk for abuse than a crop top. Particularly a man who was sexually abused as a child.
To be concerned about a 9 year old in a crop top but not concerned leaving them with a random old man, when it appears no one knew that was going to be the plan since OP suggested she had to nip out at the last minute, is utterly wild to me.

Duplicate

Good point.

Don’t let your children wear them, then. But it’s not your place, or the OP’s, to decide what other people’s children wear. ‘Eve’ is not the OP’s child or grandchild. She should not be telling her, or her grandparents, what Eve should wear. Neither should she be deciding that Eve, a nine-year-old, is now a ‘young woman’ because she’s a bit chubby.

You really don’t need to get so angry. It’s a discussion.

And your part in the discussion is claiming total randos should “have a say” in how a child dresses? How utterly bizzare!

I have already addressed the weird comment. Whilst the OP may have been clumsy in her approach, I think she meant well.

You think she meant well when she left a little girl alone with her husband and “left DH to deal with” a child he isn’t related to who he had already stated was turning into a young woman at 9 years old??

If you care to read the entire thread , you will see my part in the discussion has been far more varied than that.

She’s 9 and chubby. Hardly becoming a woman. You’re being over sensitive and quite frankly I would have an issue with what you said to the child. I certainly wouldn’t be letting her walk the dog after that.

You know full well I wasn’t talking about that