To have expected a response to a Welcome to Your New Home card

[Sassetta]

New neighbours moved in a month ago. The first day we, their immediate neighbours, dropped in a welcome to your new home card. Response? Zero.

AIBU to think it’s basic civility to say, at some point, “thank you for your card, hello we’re so-and-so”?

It’s not as though I want to hang over the garden fence and pry into their lives. I just think that if someone gives you a card it’s polite to acknowledge it.

Not where I live! while I do have lovely neighbours on one side who I have gradually got to know there are plenty on my street that I would not open the door to

My neighbours are clearly crippled with anxiety and just cannot speak to me. I introduced myself to them when they moved in and it was awful to see them so obviously distressed. I leave them be. Sometimes it’s not straightforward.

Burning women at the stake was an old fashioned idea, we don’t do that now. As was masturbating women when doctors thought they had hysteria ... Not all old fashioned ideas are relevant now.

my latest set of neighbours broke into my back yard, took my wheelie bin and filled it up with their rubbish...

I'm reserved bordering on shy. If I see my new neighbour over the fence I'll say hi and introduce myself but I won't go out of my way to thank them for a card, despite it coming from a good place.

I find sending and receiving cards is a minefield anyway. Christmas is the same. There shouldn't be obligations on the receiver of the card at all, in my view. It's an, "Oh that's nice" thought and, move on.

Please tell me you’re joking Hunny Pot

Well yes if they bumped into you I’d expect a thank you. But I wouldn’t expect them to knock on my door to thank me.
when I moved in my current home (terraced) I’d already met the people next door (when I viewed the house) who are lovely and helpful (mutually - for example I’ve used their garden waste bin and have printed off some documents when their printer broke down, taken in packages etc), and a couple other neighbours introduced themselves when they saw me coming out of the house. We have a WhatsApp for the street. I’ve met others dog walking. But it’s always been on bumping in to them when passing - like last week a new family moved in a couple doors down and the mum was doing something in her front garden and I just stopped and introduced myself when walking to the park. Friendly but not intrusive is key.

This! When we first “moved in” to our house we were still technically renting our previous house as we were in a tenancy for another month and we weren’t fully living at the new place full time as we were having flooring put in, decorating etc. Maybe the neighbours aren’t fully moved in yet so they haven’t had time to do the whole introduction thing. A new family have bought the house opposite us recently, but seem to be in a similar situation of living between houses whilst moving stuff across and this has been going on for 2 months so I wouldn’t be mad if I’d dropped a card round and hadn’t had an acknowledgment, moving house is stressful.

Yes, I think op expected just that.
Really not the way it works, op.

And then imagine having 20 welcome cards to respond to from all your neighbours!!

Op, I’ve had exactly the same experience recently. I’m amazed they have not popped round to say hi were x & y, thanks for the card.

I know that’s not the typical view here, but I’m with you!

But you were actually being nice OP.

I’m actually not sure how I’d feel if that actually happened to me 😂

It would be a very strange scenario indeed!!

Hah, yep. Then 20 "thank you for the thank you for my card" cards.

Lol recurring!!!

Have you spoken to each other in this past month? Did you leave your address on the card? Would they know it was you at #2?

We moved into a house once and got a card from Lady Elizabeth Somebody. We lived in that house for 3 years and never in all that time did I meet Lady Elizabeth or any Lizzie or Liz or El or whoever. It felt weird to ask around to find out who the reclusive aristocratic neighbour might have been. Definitely not anyone we ever bumped into and actually now I’m a bit annoyed that I never solved the mystery of who she was. 😂

Moving is stressful! Between the move, starting a new job, kids, and Christmas, I didn’t respond to a neighbour’s welcome card for two months. Don’t take it personally.

Maybe you could put a note through their door asking for a thank you card and then you send them a thank you card for their thank you card, could go on for years 😂😛

Have you actually seen them since then, though? If you put a card through my door I’d think ‘Oh, that was nice of them - I must thank them when I bump into them next’. I wouldn’t think ‘I must pop round especially to thank them’.

I assume you did actually say in the card which house you live in? If you just said ‘Hi, we’re your next door neighbours’ they wouldn’t know which side you lived on.

I once posted a sorry for the loss of your dog card to my neighbours, and got a thank you card back, saying thank you for the thoughtful card and message. I then thought, do I have to thank them for the thank you card!

Personally i’d have popped over and said thanks for the card, we are so and so. Some people do like to be more private, or lacking in manners.

I disagree. I think it's lovely OP dropped a card by. I remember I always appreciated such gestures when we moved into our house. Some even popped by with cake - how sweet is that!

But, no, I wouldn't expect a thank you or acknowledgement unless I bumped into them (although by that stage they may just have forgotten about it, which is normal as moving is so stressful).

My sister baked cookies and went round to her new neighbour. Man answered she hated away, he said not a word, took the cookies and shut door in her face! A few hours later his wife knocked being effusively grateful. Seemed her husband was completely socially inept.,

YANBU but don't lose any sleep over it and don't bother doing anything other than a polite nod or wave in public in future, because ungrateful twats like them don't deserve your kindness.

I wouldn’t expect a thank you for a new home card. It’s always busy. It would be nice if they introduced themselves but I wouldn’t let it colour your view of them at this stage. We’ve had new neighbours on both sides since we moved in. I dropped a card and a bottle of Prosecco into each, just to say hello and introduce myself as a friendly person. I put my mobile number in the card in case they need anything (rural Wales here!). We’ve never socialised with them since, we just wave. I just regard it a setting the basis of a positive relationship, I wouldn’t expect much in response.