To have expected a response to a Welcome to Your New Home card

[Sassetta]

New neighbours moved in a month ago. The first day we, their immediate neighbours, dropped in a welcome to your new home card. Response? Zero.

AIBU to think it’s basic civility to say, at some point, “thank you for your card, hello we’re so-and-so”?

It’s not as though I want to hang over the garden fence and pry into their lives. I just think that if someone gives you a card it’s polite to acknowledge it.

I've never had any such a card and have never sent/delivered one.

To be honest, for me it would probably just get swallowed up in the stress of moving house and I'm not sure I would be able to give it the headspace needed for a response at the time.

Having moved away from crazy, abusive neighbours I only want to say hello and that is is. No conversations, no getting to know you because then there can be no falling out and harassment. It may sound extreme but when you have to try to shield your children from the swearing abuse yelled at you you would understand why not everyone wants to be friends.

When we've received cards either side,I've knocked on their doors to say thank you and introduced myself. It doesn't take 5 minutes.

I wouldn't even consider saying thanks for a card? It would probably be kept on the board so that I knew your names when I saw you in future but bloody hell- if I've just moved in then my to do list is huge and having a natter with the neighbours is bottom. Do you send thank you for thank you cards too?
I've probably offended so many people in my life for not knowing some convention but I actually don't care. If you want to stew because I didn't do what you think I should have done then that's on you.
I don't think anyone sent cards when we moved in but I haven't held a grudge 🤣

They’re probably just shy.

So annoying OP how do you know they wanted a card? I know you think you were being nice but part of that is not having expectations in response from people you don’t know.

The vast majority of these responses are typical British style!
Im from Ireland and your neighbours are considered friends in most situations. I’m with you OP, this is rude as they have been there a month and you are next door neighbours. They should at least be coming around to say hello, regardless of their situation. Come on people it’s not that hard to be nice is it. OP is trying to be welcoming and I would have loved a welcome invite like this when I moved in to my home here.

I don't imagine anyone would get dozens of cards for choosing to move house, that would be strange.

Cards should never be given with obligations attached.

We just moved and got a card from neighbours. Didn’t occur to me to go round to say thank you. Have since thanked her when we passed at the bins on bin day and had a quick friendly cordial chat but only cos I saw her.

They probably want to keep themselves to themselves. Its perfectly normal. Try and go about your lives and don't overthink it

How were you hoping they’d acknowledge it? Did you bump into them and have a chat and they didn’t mention it or would it be a door knocking exercise? If I got a card from a specific neighbour I would just mention it next time I saw them (although I might forget). I don’t think I would make a trip to their front door though, I guess it would depend on the vibe and the set up. A Wisteria Lane type house set up I could well go and introduce myself but an Avenue or Street probably not.

It really isn't. Are you my mother?! When I moved she told me I should invite the neighbours in for coffee.

I’m with you @LightCameraBitchSmile sounds like most people on here just don’t have any manners and/ or don’t really get that being nice to your neighbours could come in handy one day!!

I am in the minority it seems as I wouldvhave expected some sort of acknowledgement.

You'd "think they were batshit and chuck it in the bin". How lovely. Whilst I understand that you might not want to say hello and thanks, I think your reaction is pretty nasty.

Reqding the responses here reminds me that a fairly high proportion of MNers think it’s an affront to ring your doorbell and never answer it 😂

OP, the card was a nice thing to do. Your neighbours are probably just busy and maybe a bit uncertain about whether you’d want them turning up at the door. I’m sure you’ll get to know them soon enough.

It would have had you tagged as the over invested, nosey hardwork neighbours.

I rarely wrong. Here you are moaning on MN already.

(Also v good chance that they’re not quite sure who sent the card and so don’t want to embarrass everyone by having some sort of “thanks for the card” “what card?” exchange.)

I'm with you OP.
I live in a tiny village on a cul de sac of 4 houses. new people moved in and I put a card through saying welcome from number 1.
I don't expect to be best friends or invited round. My ideal neighbour is polite and says hello and that's it.
Not only did they not respond, six months later they don't smile or speak when we see them. Totally blanked DH when he said hello. They are a young couple in 20s. It's just manners and social niceties.

It’s not about not being nice to your neighbours at all. It’s a bit full on with a card before they have barely moved in and are busy, and be so pissed off they haven’t said thank you that you write about it on a forum.

I’m a stickler for manners and thank yous, but never for a card.

Maybe it’s better if the existing neighbour went round with a welcome cake or something (nothing fancy) as I feel it is less intimidating for an existing neighbour to welcome a new neighbour than the new one going round introducing themselves to all the neighbours.

When I lived in Switzerland a lovely neighbour came round with a plate of home made brownies and we became good neighbour friends. I wouldn’t have gone to her house to initiate an introduction though. That’s the only time anything like that has happened to me, normally it’s just bumping into each other and getting to know each other that way.

Back in the UK and I am friendly with my neighbours but only on a good morning level when passing.

How on earth is a welcome card intrusive? People are getting weirder and more anti social all the time it seems.

I’m one of those people who is so overwhelmed by moving house that I don’t get the first introductions with the neighbours right. I know this. I always regret it but I find it all so overwhelming. Be forgiving of them.

If you'd put your phone number on the card, I'd text you a thank you. But if not, I'm not going to go round to your house to personally thank you. It's a kind gesture and I'd love it, but it doesn't warrant a special trip round to your house. I'm just not that sociable!! If I spotted you outside and I happened to be outside, I'd thank you.

I didn't know people only sent welcome cards because they wanted their neighbours to personally come round and thank them