To have expected a response to a Welcome to Your New Home card

[Sassetta]

New neighbours moved in a month ago. The first day we, their immediate neighbours, dropped in a welcome to your new home card. Response? Zero.

AIBU to think it’s basic civility to say, at some point, “thank you for your card, hello we’re so-and-so”?

It’s not as though I want to hang over the garden fence and pry into their lives. I just think that if someone gives you a card it’s polite to acknowledge it.

There's a million things could have happened.

One got it and forgot, it got lost in the move, it's been bundled up with old mail and is sitting somewhere...

Its not a big deal, you made a nice gesture, but moving is stressful and it's probably not high on their agenda.

Nuts. They don't know you (did you leave an address?)

Plus they might be pretty busy unpacking g/working etc

No - not rude at all

I'm a stickler for good manners but no, I have never expected a response to such cards.

Have you seen them about? Neighbours can be like passing ships, perhaps they intend to thank you when they see you but haven’t yet.

It's a really nice thing for you to have done but personally being autistic and socially very anxious I would have found approaching you to introduce myself excruciatingly difficult.
Possibly your new neighbours aren't intending to be rude or uncivil and there might be some genuine reason for them not thanking you.

What did you expect them to do- pop round to say thank you!

I moved house once because of extreme harassment from my neighbours. When we moved my new neighbours brought wine and a card on the first night and it completely overwhelmed me as I didn’t want a relationship with my neighbours. Whether that was rational or not I don’t know but I definitely didn’t. We did get to know one another over the years, in a more natural way. It was too much too soon for me.

Perhaps they thought you are swingers.

I bet OP actually did!

OP you don’t know their circumstances so you’re VVVU to EXPECT anything from people you don’t know!

It depends if you’ve seen them and spoken to them since.

If you had a chat in the street a few days after you’d posted their card and they didn’t mention it I’d think they were either rude or had not seen the card.

But if you’ve not seen / spoken to them since, well that’s not so bad as they must be busy although good manners would always be to introduce yourself to your new neighbours and especially to reach out with a friendly hello if they’d sent you a welcome card. Don’t be deterred though, people give up too easily these days and we need good neighbours like you!

I actually wouldn’t want a card like that tbh. It would feel too much. Too intrusive. They are moving in, obviously have lots to do and then you have added another thing on their mentak list to do. Pop over to you. I know you didn’t intend it this way.

Just say hello and introduce yourself when you happen to see them out.

I think it would be nice if they responded, yes. I’d just keep it polite, see if they make any overtures when they’re settled in.

If they definitely know it’s from you and you’ve seen them in passing I would expect them to say hi/ thank you. If you’ve not seen them in passing I wouldn’t expect them to knock on your door.

This!
I would now be really cautious around you going forward in case you were going to be too full on.

Always better to get to know neighbours very slowly that way one can duck out if you don’t connect with no expectations on either side.

These responses are mad. It’s completely normal to pop round to your new neighbours to introduce yourself and say thank you for the card!

Have you bumped into each other yet? Naturally? That, to me, would be the time to thank you. They are likely a bit stressed and busy, so might forget, even then. Nice of you to do it OP.

I definitely wouldn't have wanted a cars if it had such strings attached! Our move was massively stressful (when isn't it?!) With multiple bereavements, a toddler to wrangle and everything that could break seemed to break in first week or two while we were both working full time and trying to keep heads above water...
Am v grateful our neighbours weren't simmering with resentment as we didn't even open any cards for weeks after!

They don't know you and might find it a bit intrusive. They also might not know you by sight to acknowledge it if they see you in passing.
I wouldn't expect them to immediately respond by asking me round for tea and swapping details.

Some people are really private. Where I live that simply wouldn't happen. People would wait for the new neighbours to introduce themselves and then just simply be polite. Otherwise you're just on nodding/ smiling terms.
Not necessarily try to build a friendship by sending them notes before we'd met.

Not that way you did was wrong. It just might not be top priority for them to respond or that type of communication from strangers might be too forward for their liking.

Yeah. I’m firmly on the side of “giving them a card was overboard” @Sassetta sorry. You don’t even though these people, they have just moved in and you have already set expectations on them. That is very unfair to be honest. Let them be.

Bonkers. Don’t be that person. I don’t think I’d remember to say thanks for a card. They probably had dozens when they moved in.

It would have been better to drop the card round after a week or so- popping it in on the first day, when there would have been chaos, is a little bit inconsiderate.

Anyway. You've let them know you're ready to be friendly (which is surely the point of the card)- if they want that type of relationship with you they'll get back to you. Or not, as it seems.

Next time you see them shout a friendly hello & and are you all settled in ( assuming your both in your gardens ! ) then see the reply , if flat or unfriendly , you have your answer .

have never sent a card to new neighbours. It’s a bit of a power play - they need to come and say thank you?

They're in the middle of moving.

A card is not a priority, sorry. Maybe a bit later.

I've moved multiple times and have never once sent my neighbours a card, nor have I ever received one. If I did get one through the door, I'd laugh, think it was batshit, chuck it in the bin and forget about it.