To have expected a response to a Welcome to Your New Home card

[Sassetta]

New neighbours moved in a month ago. The first day we, their immediate neighbours, dropped in a welcome to your new home card. Response? Zero.

AIBU to think it’s basic civility to say, at some point, “thank you for your card, hello we’re so-and-so”?

It’s not as though I want to hang over the garden fence and pry into their lives. I just think that if someone gives you a card it’s polite to acknowledge it.

How is it nasty to chuck a card in a bin and quietly think "batshit" to yourself? It's not like I'm ripping it up and shoving it through their letterbox 🙄

FWIW I'm friendly with all our neighbours. They're all perfectly lovely but I'd still think they were a bit odd for posting a card through the door instead of just knocking or catching me in the street to say hello.

A card is hardly full on! Come on now! It’s hardly going around with a bunch of flowers and home made dinner is it!
Neighbours have been there a month so there is no excuse to even say hello! It’s just basic manners! OP isn’t pissed off of day, just affirming whether this lack of manners is common which clearly it is.

I get on perfectly well with all our neighbours and we've all helped each other out in emergencies, but that's got nothing to do with posting cards and sending "thank yous".

I don't agree that it's a lack of manners.

If you want to introduce yourself, come and knock on the door or catch me in the street, don't put me in a position where I have to go out of my way to come to you, or write a response just to be considered "polite".

That’s the Wisteria Lane type set up I mentioned in a pp. I would definitely pop round to say thank you in that set up. It also gives a chance for me to suss you out early on in case I need to avoid you in the future 😀

Some of these responses are bizarre. We had new neighbours last year - I knocked on their door about a week later and gave them a card AND shock horror some biscuits. They seemed to appreciate it and we had a brief chat.
I put our phone numbers in the card and they text to ask us a few things like if we knew a plumber etc.
We haven’t invited each other round for coffee, however we’re friendly when we see each other.
Surely this is normal?

Ooh that’s a bit harsh. 🫤

When we moved in our neighbours had put a card in.

I thought it was a lovely gesture & that I'd thank them when I saw them.

Didn't think it meant I had to go round & introduce myself!

I drop a card through for new neighbours with “From Moist and AdoraBelle at Number” but I’ve never expected a thank you.

If I am at home when they move in I drop off cake and offer cups of tea in case they haven’t unpacked the kettle, then I leave them to it.

Thank you for the thank you card springs to mind

of course you are being unreasonable, it’s a one way gesture

Seriously?

no I wouldn’t expect a response to such a card.

moving is bloody stressful.

i’d expect to meet them at some point,

Same here.
I don't want to know my neighbours or they know me. I just want to live in peace.

What's harsh about a private thought you never share or act on?

Yes but you are the existing neighbours. I think it’s a bit much to expect a new neighbour to thank whoever the ‘we’ were who sent the card. If I got a card signed off by several neighbours I would just make a mental note to thank them when I saw them. I don’t know how much of the new neighbours OP has seen though.

We got a lot of New Home cards from neighbours when we moved in last year. I thought it was quite sweet and very welcoming.

Once I was more organised (after a week or two) I dropped Thank You cards through their letterboxes as a good way to introduce ourselves (and our cat).

I don't want to live in my neighbour's pockets or even chat to them regularly, but it's nice to acknowledge that people are happy to be living alongside you.
But it's really not a big deal :)
I'd give it a week or two and say 'Hi' if you see them in passing.

I've honestly never had anyone knock on the door to introduce themselves before.

One can have harsh thoughts. Thinking someone must be batshit because they put a welcome card through your letter box seems like a harsh thought to me. 🤷‍♀️

I’m Irish and I stand firmly on the, not necessary to send a card camp. Knock and say hi after a week or so yes.

Well, I would think they were a bit batshit, lol.

It's not a nasty thing - I'm not saying they're awful people - I'd just think it was an odd thing to do. It would also never occur to me that I had to go round and knock, or send a card back in return.

I have, as I said upthread. Along with a plate of home made brownies. Not in the UK though. It was nice.

You need to move to West Yorkshire, we’re a friendly place. People even speak to you here at the bus stop 😀

See, it would just never occur to me to do something like that. I don't even notice my neighbours 99% of the time - I honestly doubt I'd even realise they'd moved in/out in most cases!

Well I’ve never actually done it myself but I guess it could depend on the houses set up. If they were like a small estate I can see people doing it, a long more anonymous street of terraced houses maybe not so much.

I'm in Cumbria - we all talk to each other too. I say "hi" to all our neighbours, people I meet when out with the dog, people in supermarkets - but I would still never put a welcome card through someone's door!

I've lived in both set-ups and it's just not something I've ever seen - so if I did receive a card I would just find it utterly bizarre as it's so outside of the norm for me.