Is drink driving ever right?!

[Lillylight]

Obviously the answer is a resounding NO! I know that. Everyone knows that…..right?

So how do I process/deal with my DH after he decided to drink and drive and just about manage to park on our drive?

In-laws response: Sweep it under the carpet.

DH’s response: It was just a mistake, I didn’t get caught so let’s not discuss it anymore or more accurately AT ALL.

Me: On OUR holiday alone as he missed the flight due to sleeping it off.

The one thing you can definitely control is never getting in a car with him ever again, unless you are driving.

How does car use/insurance work - do you have a car each? Possibly look at making some changes there.
Consider some counselling to deal with his attitude and alcohol consumption.
If he is going anywhere he will drink he Has to agree not to drive. If he does drink and drive call police straight away to breathlise him. Report him.
He is totally out of order.
Ultimatum..... divorce!

I would let him know that the next time he does it, I will call the police and report him. And he’s very welcome to call my bluff and try it he doesn’t believe me.

Ultimately, whilst this might seem brutal - it’s better to have a convicted drunk driver as a husband than a dead one. And it’s also better than a husband with a death by dangerous driving conviction.

So this wasn’t one pint over the limit? This was full on wasted if he missed a flight? The two in conjunction, I’d be out the door.

getting so drunk he drove and put his own safety and that of others at serious risk but then to miss the holiday. No excuses for any of it

You didn't understand my point? That drink driving affects a lot more people than those in your own family.

I had a teenager relative killed by an unrelated drink driver. I feel I'm allowed to reiterate the point that it affects so many more

I’m sorry that youve been affected but I think we all know drink driving is selfish, awful and absolutely dangerous. No where did the poster say she thought it was fine for other road users. Why are you assuming other peoples thought processes?

Have a nice day, I'm out

I moved a car while OPL once. As in I'd had three glasses of wine. Person driving couldn't get car into my parking space (they were sober) as it was a little tricky. Middle of the night, nobody about. I moved the car a few inches (reverse parking required). Worst I could've done is scraped my own car or (in a parallel universe or more accurately never going to happen) the police for some reason came down my quiet, back street village road and randomly decided to breathalise me.

But, I think your scenario is quite different.

And you were banned?

No.
Nobody was around to ban me.

I thought the police breathalysed you? Or have I read that wrong?

No. Driving under the influence is always wrong. You are willing stepping into a vehicle and taking the risk that you could kill someone. Look at what happened in Liverpool. If my husband ever drunk drove, I’d divorce him. It’s a hard no for me.

No, they didn't. I was saying there was a one in a million chance they'd be present on my road.

There was nobody there, I live in a very narrow private road that isn't a through route to anywhere. Unless someone fell out of the sky and appeared in the 12 inch gap behind my car I doubt it was in any way comparable to what happened in Liverpool. The car was already in the space, just not properly placed.

I wasn’t speaking about you? But you clearly hold some level of guilt over the situation. In my view it is a clear boundary for me, personally. It is a terribly selfish act.

The "zero" alcohol limit is a terrible idea. Nobody can guarantee there is no alcohol in their system even if they've never touched an alchoholic drink in their lives. There's always the risk of trace amounts being present simply by the body processing perfectly normal (non-alcoholic) food.

Personally I'd like to see a system where cars are undrivable until a pinprick blood sample is taken and analysed. Lawful owners/drivers should be forced to submit their blood to a national database. If someone tries to drive who is over the limit, the car should shut itself off for 48 hours. (It could be overridden by the police if a car needed to be moved.) It needs to be a bloodtest because otherwise a passenger could breath into it if it were an AlcoSense-type of device.

Apologies, I did make an assumption and didn't read properly.
I don't hold any guilt at all.

Then why are you continually justifying your actions?

Sorry I misread that!

What do you want us to say? You married an alcoholic sticking your head in the sand won't change it

I explained about something I had done, and corrected a poster whom I mistakenly thought was addressing me.

To me that isn't 'continual justification'.

People's brains don't all work in exactly the same way, i.e. someone saying something that you might say if 'continually justifying', doesn't necessarily mean the next person saying it is doing it for the same reason.

I can think of one scenario only. Desperate, life-threatening emergency and no way to get to hospital without someone driving a car and that person has had a drink (maybe a large glass of wine, 175ml) - presume living deep in the countryside also, or half-way up Scar Fell. Unlikely in the UK - you'd call an ambulance or call a neighbour.

And if you're lucky, they'd turn up 4 hours later.

When my DH died they turned up in 4 minutes of my 999 call. It still wasn't soon enough to save him, sadly, but they did it.
Life threatening emergencies get priority and the operators know what one sounds like.
Mind, if you are half-way up Scar Fell it will take a while longer and it will be Mountain Rescue and a helicopter (both volunteer).

I totally agree with this, I’m really fed up of all the “turned up four hours” later stories, in my experience absolute emergencies are dealt with as you’ve described.

I’m very sorry about your DH. 💐