Is drink driving ever right?!

[Lillylight]

Obviously the answer is a resounding NO! I know that. Everyone knows that…..right?

So how do I process/deal with my DH after he decided to drink and drive and just about manage to park on our drive?

In-laws response: Sweep it under the carpet.

DH’s response: It was just a mistake, I didn’t get caught so let’s not discuss it anymore or more accurately AT ALL.

Me: On OUR holiday alone as he missed the flight due to sleeping it off.

It sounds like he has an alcohol problem, and that is the main issue you need to decide how you want to deal with, if at all.

To answer your original question, I have no problem driving home after a beer or a glass of wine, but I would never drive if I couldn't even manage to park the car properly. If I want to drink more when I'm out and there's no designated driver I'll get an Uber. I have never drunk so much that I can't get up for a flight the next day.

This is exactly the sort of life or death scenario I imagined as I was opening the thread, and I'd think your friend had no any other option really. A big risk to take...that if they didn't take would quickly see their DC dead.

But is drink driving ok after your team lost??? Ehhhhhhhhh.

(End of PL season honours got divided up on Sunday, Aston Villa lost to United and missed out on Champs League...am I warm??)

It's very sad for you that he's put you in this situation. Hopefully the state of him missing out on the holiday is wake up time for him, otherwise it must be the boot.

I’m not sure if children are involved?

This, both are a problem, together they’re a massive issue.

Simple answer: His football team lost

He sounded bad enough before, but fgs. Arsehole men who behave like brainless morons (or violent thugs) and blame it on one bunch of blokes kicking a ball more or less successfully than another bunch of blokes. Utterly pathetic.

He’s a childish idiot.

So the question is: why would you want to be married to a childish idiot?

Fuck him. He risked maiming or killing someone because his team lost. I hope he gets his ass kicked every day when he eventually gets caught and hopefully it's before he kills someone or some little kid.

Time for you to leave. I sure wouldn't stay.

Oh thank goodness. That’s easy then! 😅

It was only ok by sheer luck. I would have reported my husband as I have seen the destruction drunk driving causes. There is never an excuse and I would never trust him again and never ever trust him to drive our kids. Tell him he is not welcome on the holiday and exactly what you think of his behaviour. Sounds like he doesn’t care.

Drink driving is not ok. Just because this time he got ‘lucky’ and didn’t get caught or cause an accident, doesn’t mean that next time it won’t happen.

Is it ok, no. Would i have called the police, no.
I also probably would have woke him up. I got drunk the last night of a holiday once and my DH had to drag me out of bed to make the flight... oops. I blamed the sun and the measures overseas. We all make mistakes.

Time to get rid. Can you imagine a poor child having to grow up with that as a dad ? I wouldn't waste another day on him.

Stressed doesn’t give him a excuse. What a selfish bastard, he could of killed someone’s child.

I'd leave. Drink driving is an absolute deal breaker for me, and his sin is compounded by the fact that he's shrugging it off. No wonder, as well, if his stupid parents think that it's NBD. Let him drive drunk with them in the car, if they want. I'd have no part of it.

It's a hard never ok from me too. He has a drink problem. Now either he choose to do something about his problem, and you can choose to support him. Or he does nothing and this situation happens again. Up to you what you do. Personally I would leave. This is not likely to get better.

No excuses in this instance,

As to whether it is ever right? Well no. But there are scenarios where I (and I suspect a court) would have a little more sympathy. Years back a friend of my mum's got done - he was a school caretaker and he was called out by the police as he was a keyholder. It was Christmas Eve and he had been drinking at home. He got there and sorted out whatever the issue was but the police could smell alcohol and breathalysed him and he was over the limit.

Was he right? No. Was it malicious? Also no.

But he could of course have had an accident on the way to the school and he should have thought.

Where it's deliberate going out for a drink (or many) and people drive home, I have no sympathy at all. Ever.

I would enjoy my holiday and start divorce proceedings when I got back.

I could not be involved with someone who drinks and drives.

He's blaming a bunch of strangers to him wearing team colours he happens to like losing a game of football for choosing to getting pissed, driving his car, and sleeping it all off rather than going on a planned and paid for holiday flight? And his inlaws are telling you to ignore his behaviour because it's already happened? And he has form for it?

I'd be beyond done.

He will ruin your life. And your children's if you have them.

Those excuses may be a reason to drink, but nothing is ever a reason to drink drive. I know families who have lost people through drink drivers actions.

His family are as despicable as he is if they condone it. I live in a rural area and drink driving is rife around here because people think they won't get caught. That is all the driver ever worries about, they don't worry about injuring other people in the process.

This would be the start of divorce for me, OP.

Whether I moved ahead with the process immediately or not - practicalities and/or emotional reasons might mean I’d need to wait - this would be the point where I’d decide the marriage was over and start planning accordingly.

But what about other road users and pedestrians?? From experience, it’s the innocent who pay the price for someone else’s stupidity.

Are you the poster who had a thread about him not wanting to go on holiday due to his team playing?
If you are then I would say he has done it on purpose.
You have to decide if this is the sort of future you want, because he won't change.

It is never okay to drink and drive. To drink and drive because a football team lost…. well that’s even worse, if it can be any worse. I could never forgive also the fact that he’s also screwed up your holiday because of his actions . He is something else. I couldn’t forgive and forget and it would be divorced time for me. Without a doubt.

In light of recent events surely this should hit home even harder than should be obvious.
He could have killed someone. I dont see a way past that. Do you have children together? Sorry if I missed that info

With respect @Lillylight , this is your fourth thread about your husband going back to 2022 regarding his drinking and behaviour and you have been given lots of support and valuable advice. And yet you are still with him so that would suggest you don’t take on board any of the advice you are given. So what are you wanting from this thread that you have not received in the other three?

And THAT's how it's done 👏👏👏