Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

[ProlongedAffair]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5294980-child-benefit-rival-claim-ex-partner-earning-loads?reply=144269354

I can’t write on the previous thread anymore, so I’ve created this one for people interested in the outcome of the CMS case. I’m committed to telling people what the outcome is regardless of whether it goes my way or not.

I've been fortunate enough not to have to navigate the cms system but even I'm aware of the position where care is 50:50. Either way there is information available online on the gov.co.uk website which also includes calculations.
The onus was on you to consider the information available. It isn't CMS' fault you didn't.

Having read your posts you seem to have been motivated by the fact that your ex is a higher earner. As others previously said, that's irrelevant. Yes it's annoying for you that he earns more than you now that you're apart, but that isn't his problem. people earn different salaries.

If you rang a government agency and explained your circumstances and they told you that you had a legitimate claim, you would believe them and claim the money too.

I don’t understand why people are solely blaming me when it was the CMS who allowed my claim, they even allowed me to take the money from his wages.

No, if as many people (and a basic google) had told me that 50/50 meant no maintenance I've have done basic research properly.

Government departments are notorious for getting things wrong.

You continued to be belligerent about it all even when CB found against you and you've taken no responsibility at any point.

However, the basic issue in this case was your greed in expecting a man who funds his teenage children 50% of the time, still gave you £300 and went halves in big expenses to give you even more. You should never have tried to get more money in the first place.

Your greed got the better of you and that you still take no responsibility for the mess you've created is very telling h

The rival claim for child benefit came as a shock, I didn’t even know that was a thing

Which basic research would have told you was a thing...

Its not CMSs job to hold your hand that much.

Tbf you didnt ring them and say its 50:50 you said Im the primary carer, we do share time but I do all admin and recieve child benefit.

They cant advise what he might do and potential consequences to the various permutations of outcomes. They cant advise what CB may decide, they dont know if hes already tried to put in a claim, they dont know if he will, whether hed be successful.

And if you could come to an agreement, you wouldnt need CMS

But it was conditional on the CB, which you had the claim for. That’s what made you eligible. They asked who got the CB because that’s what made you eligible.

You got the CB so you were entitled to the claim, that’s why they gave it to you.

The issue isn’t CMS… it’s that you weren’t actually entitled to both CB. So your application to CMS succeeded because you had another claim (CB) that you were just lucky to have, you weren’t entitled to it. Your ex was fine with you having it because you were primary carer in the past so of course you had it. When it changed to 50/50, he didn’t need the money so he let you keep it.

But you weren’t entitled to it and you knew that. Lie all you want; you knew it was 50/50 so should have been one each. Meaning using your CB claim as a reason to claim CMS was sneaky and disingenuous and taking advantage.

You left him no choice. He let you have CB out if goodwill. You used it again him to claim CMS. As long as you had that CB, then CMS would continue to say you were entitled to claim. He had to stop you by correcting the error with CB.

Do you not understand that? You told CMS that you got both CB. That made you entitled to maintenance. They weren’t wrong to say that.
The “wrong” part was you having both CB claim. How would CMS know that you shouldn’t have had it?
You knew. Your ex knew. He fixed it to stop you misrepresenting the situation. CMS did nothing wrong. You very much did.

Do you honestly mean you didnt know when they asked about CB and other responsibilities you didnt realise there was a reason they asked?

And you didnt know a right for you to claim came with a right of appeal/dispute for him?

CMS has to be contingent on something. The awarded it based on the circs at the time, and those changed.

The difference between you and ExP is he followed the advice he sought. I dont think he was bothered about CB until the advice he got is that would solidify his claim youre 50:50

You can disagree with us, but theres pages and pages on gov.uk about CMS role and your responsibility. And if you still feel like that make a complaint and see how that goes

Also Why is cms responsible for you misrepresenting you're the primary carer despite being 50:50 (common sense confirms at 50:50 it was joint, not you bring primary). Your logic is baffling.

Given you're clearly not primary carer - one of your posts stated that he actually had the kids one day more than you, quite why you thought you were entitled to further money from him is utterly baffling. The entire scenario appears to have a reason as a result of malice/greed/jealousy.

The fact that you're not taking anything that's being said to you onboard raises questions as to what you are actually told on the telephone as you seen hellbent on your own agenda regardless of logic or fairness.

I still thought I’d get the child benefit as he earns so much as to not be entitled to the money and I do more admin and registration so I thought that might tip them to keep it with me.

And if you'd looked into it, or listened to the majority of posters here, you'd have known that wasn't the case.

Have you apologised to your ex at any point for this?

But he is entitled to the money. He just has to
pay it back through tax.

We told you over and over that the claim had nothing to do with his salary. At all. It comes down to care. They don’t care about salaries as long as he paid it back in his tax.

We explained it. Over and over. You kept giving this same reply.

Can you actually explain why you didn’t listen? When you said “he earns too much” and we explained why that didn’t matter and how he could claim anyway, why didn’t you believe us?

You’d have saved yourself so much trouble if you had listened.

And you need to quit with the admin. Teenagers admin is not so onerous that you deserve more than the bonus £300 you were already getting

So CB carries none monetary benefits too. Like until the 12th birthday you get national insurance stamps.

Lots of people claim CB and pay tax on it or opt out of getting the money. And legally CB isn't means tested his income would never have been a factor in considering his eligibility. Again thats all info from Gov.uk

I understand, why you didnt know and thought it might be fine. But an array of strangers all said you were wrong, the guidance for both CB and CMS is there. The fact you didnt read it is no one else's fault

You haven't been misled, you've been deliberately selective with your interpretation of the facts.

Fact is you tried to grift your ex, you failed, you're worse off and you still haven't learned.

Why when he emailed you to be amicable you didn't bite his hand off is beyond me, even after you lost round one you continue to get back in the ring.

Genuine question: have you no (sensible) friends and family that can speak sense into you?

Well, that still isn't the CMS's fault that represented and assumed as opposed to checking.

Again what he is earning is irrelevant. I also claim child benefits despite being higher earner and being ineligible for payment. In my situation, I have opted out of payments but still receive national insurance credits. It will be the same for your ex.

And risk you playing dirty games again?

No, he needs to protect himself from you.

You took a gamble. You lost.

You can’t bend the rules to fit your narrative, your ex let you keep the child benefit to help you. He didn’t need the money but he also didn’t realise that you could, or would take advantage of his kind nature by making a CMS claim against him. Had he known this, he likely would have taken the CB off you much earlier. You have left him NO CHOICE but to do this now, he asked you to stop the claim you continued!

CMS is not giving you free legal advice on your financial and custody situation, come on you cannot expect this? You are too tight fisted to get legal advice so you are just blindly blundering through this and you will end up in serious financial problems.

The onus is on you as a fully functional adult to understand the systems and get a lawyer if you need one. CMS is not there to ‘advise’ you of anything - it’s a claim system when the co parenting relationship has broken down! if you lie to them or your documents or circumstances change, and they find out, your payments will change in response. CMS do not owe you a full breakdown of every single scenario - the onus is on each person to either a. Communicate with their co parent or b. Get your own legal advice

You did not take money from CMS, you took the money from your ex. He is a real human person, who cares for your children and was amicably helping you… but you are acting like he is just a cash machine? I think everyone finds your approach to this situation incredibly childish, selfish and distasteful.

@ProlongedAffair it's about time you took some responsibility for this mess that you have created and stop blaming everyone else. CMS aren't at fault or responsible. You are 100%.

You said why would you take legal advice from MN, but you've not taken legal advice at all have you? Probably because deep down you knew what what 99% of posters were telling you, including myself was correct.

You were told repeatedly in your very first thread that for 50/50 no child maintenance was due, if I recall you ended that by saying you had sought advice and we're not going to claim because as everyone told you it was due on 50/50.

You then made a 2nd thread where you had in fact claimed CMS and were shocked because your ex put a claim in for one of the CB. You have been told over and over that he would win that that CMS base their decision on what you tell them not evidence. You were told that he would likely put in a claim for CMS and will win it just like he will win in court and that you would have to pay back every single penny you received under your false claim.

Throughout this you have obsessed over the kids being registered to your address with GP and Dentist etc. They don’t allow registration at more than 1 address, just because ex let it be your address didn't and doesn't mean you do more.

Your ex was paying you a generous sum of money despite not needing to, he LET you claim both CB even though he was entitled to claim 1 of those.

You've admitted that you earn well and you don't need extra from your ex to live that it would be good for savings or holidays. Your greed and bitterness towards your ex has led you to where you are.

Maybe start putting the interest of your children first instead of trying to line your pockets from a man that owes you nothing just because he earns more. It isn't his job or obligation to fund your lifestyle.

You need to take a long hard look at yourself and how you live your life and stop blaming everyone else for the choices you made.

CMS advised you based on you only presenting evidence that supported you getting what you wanted. You didn’t tell them that he actually had them more than you, and that you weren’t in fact their primary carer. You were the one that misled them, not the other way round.

That’s on you. It won’t be CMS reimbursing him, it will be you.

You played yourself, completely. You had an amicable co parenting relationship, and he was quite happy to let you claim
both child benefits in addition to making entirely voluntary payments of £300 a month to you. Instead of appreciating that you got butthurt over his pay rise and went after even more money you weren’t entitled to. It’s now blown up in your face as you were explicitly and repeatedly told it would. Stamping your foot, whining ‘it’s not fair’, and blaming anyone but yourself isn’t going to get you out of this situation that you have created. Take responsibility for yourself, and for fucks sake stop making it worse.

Each post is more infuriating than the last. She just doesn’t take any responsibility for anything.

Talk to the wall Folks.... cos the OP ain't listening... again!

Dictionary definition of f around and find out

I know. OP, genuine question. Have you ever had any kind of assessment done for autism? Your bloody mindedness, lack of any insight into your own behaviour and complete inability to accept anything other than your own view really isn’t normal.

How many things are your children registered with? If you mean doctors and dentist, that's a one off thing, once they're registered they're registered. Their Dad takes them to appointments if necessary on his time. He also has private healthcare for them, arguably that takes admin time because he needs to renew it annually. What do you actually mean by registrations and admin?

I got the impression that she was talking about things like permission slips for field trips or whatever the equivalent of that would be there. Like papers that come home from school that you have to fill out and send back.