MIL trying on my engagement ring

[Onering]

Strained relationship. Recently got engaged. I took the engagement ring off for a second since I was doing gardening, came back to find MIL wearing my ring saying how pretty it is. She had been going on about how much she liked it before but to put it on without my permission seems invasive.

She wore it and put it to the light to see the diamond sparkle and commented on how nice it looked.

Aibu about being annoyed from this? Maybe my rocky relationship with her is skewering this for me. My ring now feels tainted because someone else has worn it and being someone I don't have a good relationship with... But again that could be me being ott.

Being annoyed with MIL is fine - it's a weird thing for her to do, and no normal person would try someone else's engagement ring on, even with permission. The tainted thing and bad karma thing is a bit bonkers on your part. She's out of order, but you're over-reacting.

Well it's weird she helped herself to it. If you think it's tainted because someone tried it on, you would not cope in Ireland. Once you announce it to your mam, aunties etc everyone has a try on, swirls it 3 times and makes a wish for you. I think it's a cute tradition but would probably have you running for the hills.

Come on it’s going to need more than that. I reckon exorcism at the very least.

If you believe in bad karma then you need to stop being so negative. She tried on the ring because it's a lovely ring, she didn't harm it. Another person loving your symbolic piece of jewellery is good karma.

YABVVVVVVVVVVR (R = Ridiculous) 🙄

You’re searching for reasons to resent your MIL. But why?

I think would probably pay to have it professionally cleaned.

You must find life hard.

"Let's not make a non-issue an issue here"
Well, absolutely. And her trying the ring on and saying lots of complimentary things about it is the biggest non-issue here.

Maybe she's also trying to improve your relationship with her and this was her slightly clumsy way of trying to be nice about it?
And her holding the children isn't going to be the non-issue you think it is, if you're this bothered by her wearing a ring. Won't she imbibe your children with negative woo energy or something if she cuddles them? Even if she doesn't, sounds like you will be finding fault with when/how/why she's holding them etc given you've already got "issues" with boundaries and second parenting.
Sounds like you've become primed to interpret everything she does as negative.

Brilliant!

I was going to mention this tradition.

I was told that the rules are that you can't wish for a man* or money, but you CAN wish for a nice MIL.

• Think this tradition long pre-dates the Irish acceptance of same sex partnership!

I agree and when pregnant with her partner's babies, won't the OP have the MiL's genes inside her own uterus for 9 months? Maybe that requires wafting some burning sage up her floof?

Karma is nonsense and unless the MiL has Ringworm, the ring won't be 'tainted'.

Oh for goodness sake. You never stop being a parent, whatever age your child.

To overlay Freudian theories into the mix here is ridiculous and basic, and very insulting towards your MIL too.

Sounds like your attitude towards your MIL needs work.

OP has already got children. She has said:

'She is like this with me and our DC. Very imposing and lots of issues with crossing boundaries.'

My ring now feels tainted because someone else has worn it and being someone I don't have a good relationship with.
Grow up. It's a ring
She tried it on not shit on it.
She said it was nice.
It's not tainted.
You are the issue here.

I remember loads of people trying mine on when I got engaged! They were just excited for me, I never thought a single thing of it.

You’re being a little silly.

it’s annoying but you are being ridiculous.

That was very cheeky of her but to let it taint your view of your ring seems a terrible shame. Would getting it professionally cleaned help with removing her from your ring in your mind?

Ah I see there are suggestions of cleansing rituals in other posts.

You’re being utterly ridiculous. I would suggest you need to grow up.

Strange

Have you considered consulting a ouija board rather than mumsnet.

Every ❄️ is unique

Poor poor mother in law

How on earth would that seem worse? I am rapidly losing patience with this woman. What on earth is up with her? Yes, her future (maybe) MiL was misguided but for goodness sake, she didn’t steal or deface the ring. Onering really does need to get a life.
incidentally, it is definitely not a good idea to put the ring in the dishwasher. For heaven’s sake!

FFS, get a grip. Your MIL admires and compliments your ring and your response is a bunch of drama. You sound like hard work.

Do a cleansing ceremony to free the ring from bad juju.