MIL trying on my engagement ring

[Onering]

Strained relationship. Recently got engaged. I took the engagement ring off for a second since I was doing gardening, came back to find MIL wearing my ring saying how pretty it is. She had been going on about how much she liked it before but to put it on without my permission seems invasive.

She wore it and put it to the light to see the diamond sparkle and commented on how nice it looked.

Aibu about being annoyed from this? Maybe my rocky relationship with her is skewering this for me. My ring now feels tainted because someone else has worn it and being someone I don't have a good relationship with... But again that could be me being ott.

Um why? She sounds a horror.

I totally understand Op, quite suprised that so many people don't believe in good/bad energy.

I’m glad you’re not my future daughter-in-law . What nonsense.

This would irritate me but feeling that the ring is tainted feels a bit excessive. I agree with the people saying that if you have a woo side and feel that inanimate objects can absorb bad vibes then do a cleansing ritual with it , smudge it with sage or put it in a little bag with a rose quartz crystal. ( for love).

You are massively overreacting

It's a bit weird that she tried your ring on. It isn't 'tainted' though. Bigger issue is your relationship with her. If you're marrying her son she's going to be around a long time. Think of what your boundaries are and start putting them in place now. I've read threads on here where the MiL gets worse after the wedding. And even worse after kids.

Bit Jocasta, I would agree. And it also sounds very like boundary-pushing if the relationship isn't a positive one.

But I'd file this one in the drawer under 'small stuff'. The best way of purifying the energy surrounding this object is to ensure that in future you leave it in a place where she can't find it, and work on establishing the healthy boundaries which are key to a cordial relationship in the future. You're marrying this man: there will be a lot of it.

A PP upthread recommends a cleansing ritual, given you believe in universal energy. Charge it with the moon, purify it in the smoke of with rosemary incense, or wash it in a natural spring. Other people's negative energy cannot harm you unless you let it.

Because it’s nonsense.

I hope your DP was extremely careful about the history of the ring and where the diamond came from ensuring it was ethical. Because if you believe in bad energy, that stone could have absorbed a lot of pain. Just saying.

You're surprised that so many people don't believe in made-up nonsense?

As long as they’re not about to nick it and pawn/sell it, I’d be fine with it - it’s flattering that they admire it so much they want to try it on. Rude not to ask you first, but otherwise I think you are being very unreasonable.

so she complimented you on the beautiful ring and it's tainted now because she tried it on briefly? If you were my DIL, I'd have a strained relationship with you too. You sound like hard work and a princess who is looking for a fight. She had only nice things to say. Get a grip! and don't get me started in this karma BS!

Putting the ring through a repeated cycle of boiling and then freezing it might cleanse it. Not sure whether it will damage it at all but then again if it's tainted you haven't got much to lose by tring I guess. Some people would leave it overnight in vinegar as well, others swear by burying jewellery in a field for a few weeks so that the ground can neutralise the bad karma. The risk of that is someone with a metal detector will find it of course. You could try doing each thing in turn, checking whether it has been cleansed sufficiently after each step?

But YANBU it's incredibly rude to try someone on without asking permission. It's good that she likes it rather than hates it but it's unforgivable to try it on like that.

Some people are less bothered about personal property... especially when it comes to other people's!

It really isn't

@GlidingSquirrels I see the ring as a symbol as our love for each other and our relationship. Not necessarily dp himself lol

You know the woman, she's either put it on innocently just to see what it was like, but with no malicious intention, yes she should have asked but on the grand scheme of things I'd let it go , and it's probably clouded a bit by your rocky relationship. Or, she's done it to annoy you and be invasive, with the intention of making you feel how you do.
Either way , you are the one with the beautiful ring and will have it forever. Try not to think of it as tainted, try to enjoy your ring and engagement and move on

It really is. Can you prove otherwise?

That's nonsense and if you go on believing that, you will suffer unnecessarily and get very little sympathy from anyone.

Kindly, I think if you had a better relationship would you have felt differently about her trying the ring on? If I had a good relationship with someone, it wouldn't have made any difference.
YABU on the 'ring is now tainted', it isn't 😉

Does this happen a lot to you OP…that people who you have ‘bad karma’ with try on your belongings causing tainting?

I don’t think is a normal reaction to be honest…and I can’t imagine having so many ‘bad karma’ acquaintances trying on my belongings often enough for me to have a stance on it!

Sure, she probably shouldn’t have tried on your ring, it’s a bit crass, but it’s not suddenly been filled with ‘woo energy’ has it? It’s inanimate!

Bit over the top to say it’s now tainted but it is weird and creepy to put on someone else’s engagement ring.

I don’t get it… women melting over rings in this day and age. It is already ‘tainted’ by the notion that it is a relic of the days when it was normal for men to buy and own women.

Very wrong to try on someone else's jewellery unless they offer. I doubt it was a power play by your MiL though, she is simply rude. All the positive energy and love between you and your fiance will completely wipe out any influence from her.

I just want to say, when I said I believe in bad energy/karma it's not to the point where I believe Spiritual cleanses/being religious/bad eye. Simply just that I've seen a lot of what comes around goes around. I've also had a lot of personal experience with things happening which seemed to be cause and effect from something. So I'm just hyper sensitive to things jinxing luck. No that doesn't mean I'm going to go waving the sage about or bless my ring under a full moon 🤨

However there are plenty of people that DO believe in this stuff, and lots of people's attitudes on here come across mocking for it. That is completely rude and close minded. Let's be respectful of the fact that some people take that as seriously as believing in a God and not try to ridicule anyone for it.

Would just like a show of hands as to how many of you have tried on your DIL's/DD's rings....

Totally weird. Especially if she put it on her own engagement finger. She also made sure you saw her try it on and pretty much waved it in your face. Weird. What next? Trying on your bloody wedding dress? She’s clearly a nutbag. Get better on those boundaries OP and don’t let the loony MIL derail you.