MIL trying on my engagement ring

[Onering]

Strained relationship. Recently got engaged. I took the engagement ring off for a second since I was doing gardening, came back to find MIL wearing my ring saying how pretty it is. She had been going on about how much she liked it before but to put it on without my permission seems invasive.

She wore it and put it to the light to see the diamond sparkle and commented on how nice it looked.

Aibu about being annoyed from this? Maybe my rocky relationship with her is skewering this for me. My ring now feels tainted because someone else has worn it and being someone I don't have a good relationship with... But again that could be me being ott.

Good grief

I really dislike seeing all the disrespectful and mocking comments here. It’s one thing to respectfully say you don’t agree. It’s another thing to ridicule someone. Can’t we just agree there’s no need? Some commenters seem to get satisfaction from being on their high horse and mocking others.

I don’t personally believe burning sage or incense will literally change anything with the ring. But, I think it helps some people symbolically, and it’s harmless. A wedding ceremony itself is largely symbolic so it’s not that strange to do things because of how they make us feel or what they symbolise.

But the way some of you talk to others on here seems so unfriendly and rude.

Come off it. Some of the comments deserve nothing but ridicule.

We’ve had suggestions such as -

Putting the ring in a sieve and running tap water on it.

Placing it in saltwater in the moonlight.

Performing a cleansing ceremony.

Getting the ring professionally cleaned.

Burning sage.

All because someone tried on a ring. 🤡

But the way some of you talk to others on here seems so unfriendly and rude.

Everyone should stand in a bucket and be ran under the tap water .

You're all so, so predictable. It's quite funny. I knew you would suddenly want to come for me for suggesting some politeness. But I guess you can't possibly handle tolerance for other world views, so you have to criticise straight away. Makes me laugh.

It's AIBU. 'Give the OP a good kicking' is a spectator sport around here; as a forum it's notorious for it.

Your example of the wedding ceremony is a good one. Wedding 'traditions' are steeped in superstition. A good many are also sexist, anachronistic and reek of patriarchal oppression: discarding your own family name, being 'given away' like a chattel, etc. But some people who are wedded to those traditions get very defensive when this is pointed out.

As to personal beliefs, avoiding walking under a ladder makes a lot more sense to me than much of the above.

In fairness to the OP there is something weird about a woman trying her DIL ring, is she trying to make a point that she just as special to her so as his finance

I wonder how many of the mockers would react to the rituals of non western people all over the world such as those who practice tribal rituals.

Pathetic western arrogance in full force here.

A great many mockers will subscribe to superstitions of their own to some extent, but still strenuously deny doing so. It must make them feel good to inform others that they believe in 'sky fairies', but by the same token believe green is an 'unlucky' colour for weddings, or that it's bad luck for a bride and groom to spend the night before the wedding together.

Some superstitions and 'old wives' tales' are founded on basic common sense; some centre upon cultural identity or community bonding in the face of adversity. Humans are a social species whose historical survival has thrived upon storytelling and ritual, some of which surrounds particular superstitious beliefs. Anthropologists think that every society, from tribal to developed world, undertake the same structure of the rite of passage, often based around symbolism and ritual.

Aside from being a whole crock of BS, these cultural bonding activities have possibly been essential to our species' survival.

I don’t personally believe burning sage or incense will literally change anything with the ring. But, I think it helps some people symbolically, and it’s harmless. A wedding ceremony itself is largely symbolic so it’s not that strange to do things because of how they make us feel or what they symbolise.
The problem with this is that every time the Op encounters something with " bad karma" because someone may have ' negative energy ' she us going to get herself worked up.
She would in my opinion, be better maybe having CBT or other therapy to help her mind to see things logically rather than go into an anxious state which is terrible for long term health.

Change your partner as he is carrying a lot of bad vibes and karma by being inside your MIL for 9 months.

It wouldn’t bother me but I like my MIL. I suppose if I didn’t, it would annoy me somewhat, but I wouldn’t think the ring was tainted.

I understand exactly what you mean about it being "tainted'. It might be worth asking a jeweller to put it through their cleaning system. Then it will feel more like yours again.

If you believe in bad energies you may also believe in cleansing rituals.

In which case I advise waiting until a clear moonlit night is in the offing before mixing a pinch of salt into a glass of water, then dropping the ring into the glass and leaving it outside overnight, where the evil 'fluences will all be washed away by the cleansing rays of the moon.

Perhaps you should also use a new broom to sweep all the wickedness out of your home after she has visited, and then smudge each room with burning sage and sprinkle salt across all the thresholds to the outside world?

At the very least it will give you something else to do rather than mulling over the bad karma caused by someone trying on your pretty engagement ring without prior permission.

I'd get the ring professionally cleaned to wash away the bad karma. Or buy one of those sonic ring cleaners.

This is fair. It could help her, especially if this affects her negatively often.

Hey! I suggested the professional cleaning! It seemed nicer than saying give your head a wobble 😁

Yours was the least batshit in all the batshittery.

The first prize went to ‘salt water in the moonlight’ which I read out to my family to much mirth. 😂😂

@XploringEurope totally agree.
imagine anyone getting mocked for believing they should fast during daylight hours during a specific month to ensure their place in eternal life, being told to ‘get CBT’ as it’s detrimental to their health.

Yet arguably (by this logic) that’s just as batshit to be fair.

I'll have you know that came from a reputable Witches handbook. It was illustrated and everything!

Is it just me who finds it strange to read out mumsnet forum comments to your family, just to laugh at people and mock them? Isn't that teaching your kids to mock people? What sort of personality are you encouraging in your kids, sneering? That was actually the most unsettling thing on this whole thread for me.

When you have children, will you have to subject your baby to a cleansing ritual every time your mother in law wants to hold them?

I did find that weird too. But my initial
thought was they mustn’t have much else to chat about if something someone they didn’t even know said on an internet forum,
was a source of bonding that day 🤷‍♀️

Do you enjoy being pointlessly nasty online? Are you that boringly bitter?

You sound like a drama queen trying to create drama. The taint will be the bad feeling that you bring into this marriage not bad ring vibes 🤦‍♀️