To discuss the societal impacts of older parents?

[Kindersurprising]

I feel like this is a really under-discussed area, particularly as it’s now really extremely common (particularly in middle class circles) to have a first baby after 30 and in many cases 35+.

I feel like in 20 years we are going to see quite a big impact, in adults having fewer (if any) siblings due to parental age, caring for elderly parents while having small children themselves, a lack of grandparent support and I guess a smaller family circle much earlier on. I only realised today that it will be vanishingly rare for kids to have great grandparents soon - my DC have only one, through me.

The positives are often cited as more money, and more life experience.

I was 30 when DC2 was born, so somewhere in the middle and not a young parent as such. I often wonder what it would be like to have had them earlier.

How do you think this will play out in the next 20-50 years?

My mum had me at 35 and I'm in my mid 20s and I'm an only child and it honestly doesn't bother me. I probably won't have children. I think people think being an only child is really bad and is not that big of a deal in my opinion.

I’m surprised you think it’s ’under-discussed’.

I don't think many people except to know their great grandparents.

I don’t think it’s a death sentence!!! I mean more how this will play out for society as a whole, over the next 50 years or so. For example I know quite a few couples with disabled DC, who will obviously have to stop caring for them earlier due to their age. So I think another consequence will be more DC needing state care earlier.

Well teenage pregnancy is discussed a fair bit on here, but older parenting only in terms of the positives of more money etc

first baby after 30

I think in the majority of cases, those who have one child do so because they only want one. I don’t think many people actually want or can afford more than two.

I need to look up that stats for children with severe disabilities and parental age. I work in respite care for severely disabled children and all of the parents are older.

Yabvu to say that being an older parent is discussed only in positive terms on here.

Total nonsense and makes your whole post seem very disingenuous.

Trying to start a bun fight.

Plenty of parents don’t have children until mid 30s. Don’t understand what your issues are. My dc were born when I was 33 and 34.

I have a huge family and DH has a pretty big family. We had very little family support, even though they as individuals had a lot of grandparent support etc. age of family makes no difference - it's their attitude towards helping that matters

All the parents? Seriously?

If you'd said a higher proportion or most of the parents of the disabled children you work with were older, you'd be more believable.

My parents had me in their late 30s, and it’s honestly never crossed my mind that they’re older than average.

I don’t live locally so not much grandparenting going on anyway.

Both parents fit and fiddles in their 70s and usually off on holiday or partying tbh.

I think a bigger issue is the general breakdown of communities helping out with raising children - parenting so often seems to be such a solo activity for modern parents, which makes it incredibly hard and is no doubt a factor in the low birth rate.

Older because their kids are older, or older when they were born? I think this is another consequences which probably needs to be anticipated - off the top of my head there are 2 DC in DC1’s primary class who will need lifelong care. The kids are 6, one set of parents is late 40s and the other around 40 I would say. I think it’s likely there will be more DC needing care earlier.

I built a career before having kids ( in my late 30s) I have a good pension and will pay for my own care. I don't expect my kids to mind me and I've often told them that.

My grandma's generation of women and before were having babies well into their 40s, until they hit menopause. There was minimal access to birth control. Older parents have always been a thing.

I think it seems a recent thing that people know their great-grandparents. All my grandparents had died by the time I was 20, and I don’t think I was a particular outlier in that from people I know IRL.

I never knew my great-grandparents. My parents never knew theirs, either.

People have been having children when they’re 30 - 35 for ages.

I think it's been discussed a lot.

My opinion is that older parents (age brackets as above) will only bring about more self aware, confident children which will overall be a benefit to society.

Yes there are negatives as mentioned above but life experience, maturity, patience, stability (financial and physical) leave people better suited to bring up children. I know a few friends who had children young with big age gaps before having the second child and all have found it to be a more positive experience and that they were in a far better place to raise children when in their 30s as opposed to early twenties.

With regards to having less grandparent involvement, I'm not sure it matters as my parents are still working FT and I'm mid 30s with 1 child so it wouldnt be any different if I'd had them in my 20s. With regards to great grandparents I had 2 that I remember but the truth is as young children they didnt bring an awful lot to my life as they were both elderly and we only saw them occasionally and I was mostly afraid of them as a child and found them boring.

In general a smaller family circle isnt necessarily a bad thing- as seen repeatedly on here so many people have such toxic family with outdated attitudes that children would be better off without. People can grow a village of support and make friendships which are just as fulfilling if not more so than some relatives.

I feel like some of these things are more of an issue than others. It's already quite uncommon to know your great grandparents. For most children, great grandparents would be very elderly and hardly a hands-on presence in their life so I'm not sure this is much of a problem.

Im sort of in this position in that I have young children born when I was in my mid 30s and my parents had me when they were 35 so they are in their 70s. I'm an only child. They are really hands on and don't need my help at the moment, if anything it's the other way round! I will be happy to do anything I can for them as they gave me a great childhood and I have great relationships with them, as do my children. I imagine it will be hard when they are in their 80s and my kids are teenagers, but not different to what my in laws experienced really when they were in their 50s and their parents were ailing - they were still working and by that point were also grandparents to BIL/SIL kids so still sandwich caring!

Where I live, parents are significantly above the national average age (we're in London). DH and I who are not young parents often see people with babies who look closer to 50 than 40. I'm not really sure what the consequences of this are, if any, but it's really noticeable where I live. When we did our NCT classes at 33 we were the youngest people.

Why? It’s an 8 bed home I’m not talking about every disabled child in the world.

Yes but those children had lots of older siblings in most cases so things like elderly care could be shared out.

Also my mil complained about me working, offered zero help, but expects her children to mind her now as they owe her. Apparently.

I had older parents (Mum, 46 & Dad, 50) and I was a carer from the age of 10.

I knew my dad’s parents but my mum’s died before I was born

my older siblings (20 year age gap to my eldest) STILL didn’t know our great grand parents but knew both sets of grandparents

it was shit having older parents, more shit because of added disability leading to caring at a young age. I was a carer for 30 years until they’d both died and have brought up kids along side (as have my siblings)

Ha! No - last living at home ended up with all the care responsibilities.

I agree entirely. We're a selfish generation or two. It's all 'me me me and my career' and travel. And there's so much over planning and over thought into every minutiae of planning a family. It's utter overkill. Stable relationship -essential. Own home - pretty much essential. Good enough salary in a secure job -essential. 10 million pound saved up for bamboo toys and Sebastians future neuro science degree, 5 trips to Australia and CEO of Barclays - not essential.

Yes, we'll pay for it as a society later on. Definitely.