To discuss the societal impacts of older parents?

[Kindersurprising]

I feel like this is a really under-discussed area, particularly as it’s now really extremely common (particularly in middle class circles) to have a first baby after 30 and in many cases 35+.

I feel like in 20 years we are going to see quite a big impact, in adults having fewer (if any) siblings due to parental age, caring for elderly parents while having small children themselves, a lack of grandparent support and I guess a smaller family circle much earlier on. I only realised today that it will be vanishingly rare for kids to have great grandparents soon - my DC have only one, through me.

The positives are often cited as more money, and more life experience.

I was 30 when DC2 was born, so somewhere in the middle and not a young parent as such. I often wonder what it would be like to have had them earlier.

How do you think this will play out in the next 20-50 years?

I met the love of my life at 16 married at 26 first DC at 30 4th at 35. I do think it would have been nice to have them earlier but it wasn't the right time financially so made the right decision. They are in their mid to late 20s now

That has a lot to do with people having more divorces and subsequently new marriages or relationships , another thing to consider that’s impacting it . Plus man fertility issues are years behind women’s , women have always “ blamed “ for most fertility issues while men got away with the fact they could have babies for much longer .

It took the best part of a decade for us to have a baby due to unexplained infertility. Our DC will be our only child. We are fully aware that we are older parents, it most definitely isn't underdiscussed. It's just how life worked out for us.

But like some of the other older parents we know we are definitely keeping ourselves fit and healthy so that we can have as much time as possible with DC.

Agree - I can see the reality of this on the two sides of my family. My 2 grans died a couple of decades ago, but in terms of their descendants:

My maternal grandmother born around 1910 had 2 children, which resulted in 4 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren (who are all currently under 10 so there won't be any new family members for a long time). So a total of 11 descendants.

My paternal grandmother, born around the same time, had 6 children, 18 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and there are 2 great-great grandchildren to date. A total of almost 60 descendants and more will be arriving regularly as many of the great-grandchildren are in their late 20s/early 30s.

I think there will be few large extended families like on my paternal side in the future.

Your grandmother did not get pregnant and given birth aged 52. Didn't happen. She probably played "mother" to one of her pregnant young teens children.

Women do not get pregnant (naturally) and carry a healthy pregnancy to term in their 50s. It's impossible!

It's not impossible. There have been recorded cases of women conceiving and giving birth in their 50s, though these are extreme outliers. But that is the nature of extreme outliers - very rare but not impossible.

No, it really isn't. My DH's mother was in her 50s when she had him.

My midwife told me she had delivered babies from women of 51 and 50 who had conceived naturally (and surely the midwife would know from medical records if the pregnancy was IVF). It may be very rare, but someone has to be the outlier.

There was a woman in the village that I grew up who had her only child at 49/50.

She has suffered from infertility her whole life.

It's extremely rare, but I suppose if you still have periods/are ovulating it can happen.

So I do believe your story.

I think the main way it will affect society is through the falling birth rate - not enough workers to pay taxes to look after retirees, etc.

People having babies later is part of the falling birth rate. But also I think it’s more of a symptom than a cause - people want to make sure they’re reasonably secure financially before having children and that takes much longer now than it did in the 80s or 90s.

Alert Cat
If you look back not very far into social history you will find exactly the same pattern being played out. I had three living grandparents when I was born, many people of my age had fewer. One set of grandparents were 300 miles away so no childcare there.
My mum's generation all looked after their elderly parents. Mum's just died, aged 94 for context. My mother's sister moved to Australia so couldn't help with parents.
Childcare and elder care have always had an impact on women's careers.
People in the past had babies into their 30s and 40s but mums of many children (ExDPs grandmother had 22) often died, possible severely disabled children did too. (I know it's awful).

Very little new here apart from generally smaller family sizes and the possible impact on one child looking after elderly parents. Friend is one of 4. All moved far from parents for work etc. The sister who lived nearest looked after parents.

Wouldn't say it was common but FIL mother gave birth to him and twin at 51 - as many in her female line had before her - if you go down parish records and birth certificates as he has.

Either the birth certificate was wrong and all the extended family lying about her age or DNA testing that put his twin as full sibling to older child and cousin to both male and female sides as expected was wrong.

It's more likely that it was as stated a risky unexpected and fairly rare twin menopause pregancy that carried to term but MN always knows better .

That is your family experience. I had my dc at 40 and 42. No medical issues for me or my dc. It didn't find it hard on my body. I was however physically very fit, a long distance runner who worked in an outdoor physical job. I imagine that helped.

Errrrmmm tell that to my friend who had an unexpected surprise in her 50s. Easy pregnancy, healthy baby, but the medics insisted on an induction at 40 weeks.

Interesting random fact my GP says the majority of the terminations she signs off on (apologies if that isn't the correct term, I don't want to offend anyone) are married women in their late 40s. The narrative that it is nearly impossible to fall pregnant at that age is quite unhelpful as people get careless with contraception.

I only knew two grandparents as a child - two had died and the other two were in no fit state to look after children after fifty years of hard manual work had damaged their bodies that they were frail elderly despite being in their mid sixties.
Most of my grandchildren's grandparents are still working (either part time or full time) and have jobs which require a mix of knowledge and experience so not physically broken and still fit enough to look after young children. A fair few of my friends are in a similar situation - although some of us still have our own parents needing us as they in their nineties

I met my husband when he was 12, all
of his grandparents had died prior to this. X 2 of them died in their 60s and x2 in their 80s (FIL was the last baby).
I felt extremely lucky that I had my 4 grandparents and 1 great grandparent. Not many people I knew had a great grandparent I had her till I was 13.
it is fairly new concept in my opinion!
My daughter is 5, when she was born she had 3 great grandparents and as of January she has 0.
All lived to old age (91-93).
The thing that isn’t discussed enough is death being a natural part of life and that people can’t live forever. It is sad when older people die, especially when it’s your own. But it’s part of life!

Due to lack of contraception it was very common for women to have multiple children (my grandad was 1 of 9 and Nanna 1 of 6) and often last babies were born to older women (FIL born when his parents were 40) so not a new concept.

its the fact that people are living longer (not necessarily healthier) and as they get older need a lot more input and care. I don’t think age and lack children is the issue.