Brother wants me to get a sitter for a family meal.

[ThatRubyMoose]

Tell me truthfully, would you be willing to get a sitter for your children for a family meal during the day?

My brother wants to go to a gastro pub on Easter Sunday (where children are allowed) and asked me if my daughters could ‘sit this one out’. They are very well behaved. I get the dynamic changes when there are kids but FFS.

I have no issues whatsoever in getting my girls 4 and 9 sat. My mother usually does it and more recently a neighbour’s teenager.

I see my brother often and will pop into see him as where he works has a canteen so he sees me on my own quite often and he also has lots of opportunities to see my mum.

I am really hurt and annoyed.

Bank hol Monday, but still easter weekend which is odd, I agree. I think op needs to give a bit more information about db.

Easter Sunday is the highest holiday of the year so hell no!

I'm absolutely fine with telling my kids that mum and dad need time on their own with each other, and time with their own friends etc and, in the same way that they have play dates with their friends, we have time with our friends etc. We've had a family meal at a posh restaurant, that wouldnt have been suitable for children, when my kids were at school

But I wouldn't be comfortable telling them they're missing out on a family lunchtime meal that they'd enjoy (and its because their uncle doesn't want them there). Apart from being hurt on their behalf that he'd prefer it without them.

I'd just reply and say you don't want to ask anyone to babysit on what is normally a family holiday, and you don't want the kids to feel upset that you're doing a family lunch without them. And suggest an alternative (evening drinks at some point?)

Also if it was a paid sitter, they'd charge a fortune for bank holiday Monday!

Birthday meal in the evening fine to say no children, Easter monday lunch in a pub that caters for families, no way.

Not a chance would be my only answer

We don’t have any sitters so on a normal weekend DP would go alone if it was his family making the request or I would go alone if it was my family.

On Easter weekend I would expect the children to be invited.

Are your children as well behaved as you say they are though? I have a nine year old who will sit nicely at the table, eat his food, do some colouring and join in with the conversation but I also have a five year old that won’t stay still, won’t stay in his seat, won’t sit properly on his chair when the food arrives, prefers to eat with his fingers and gets bored if the attention isn’t on him. With him we have to eat and not hang around too long after. You couldn’t have a nice long leisurely meal with my youngest present. I can see how certain types of people might request my five year old doesn’t come. I’m assuming your DB doesn’t have any DC and therefore he won’t see it from your side.

No. A lunch time family meal on a religious holiday is for all ages. Sad he would suggest this, honestly.

Nope nope nope. I'm not religious but Easter is a family holiday in my eyes. It's like asking the kids to sit out Christmas dinner.

Does db have any additional needs op? I know loads of childless ppl, and none of them would suggest this for easter.

Not for an Easter lunch. I remember the lovely family times at Easter growing up, egg hunts, big roast dinners, extended lunches in a hotel or restaurant.

yes. Perhaps if it was an evening event, one of the adult’s birthday day, but not Easter. It’s a bit like excluding children from Christmas.

plus you might struggle to find a babysitter as all the babysitters will be doing family things too

I don’t want to be around kids when I socialise, I would not want you to bring them to a social event. However this is a family meal, I would expect them to come or it’s simply not a family meal.

i would get it if it’s his birthday and it’s a nice place but a gastro pub is full of kids. The only acceptable reason would be if your kids were a night mare and you just left them to it. However- this does not sound the case.

I wouldn't be getting a sitter for Easter lunch. That's family time.

I do not have kids but would be very disappointed if I was meeting friends/family for lunch and they left them at home.

i would understand if it was an evening meal and kids were toddlers but yours are lovely age. Also it is Easter it would be very mean to leave them at home.

Easter Sunday lunch - not a chance. My kids love Easter and it’s a family day for us. Also who would want to babysit on Easter Sunday, surely most people are having a family day?

I think the issue is that your brother doesn’t like kids. Or specifically your kids.

Weekend evening totally fine, easter Sunday day time not for us. We do loads child free but definitely wouldn't expect someone to get a sitter for a family pub lunch during the day time.

No, and I'd be making it clear my kids are.most welcome to attend when I deem fit and not when someone else decides they don't want to see them. That's on him maybe he shouldn't attend

Nope. Easter Sunday is a special day for kids and a family day. No way I’d be leaving my kids to have lunch without them . Possibly on the Saturday but he is u reasonable to expect them to spend Easter Day Alone. Did he offer to pay for a sitter? Unless he has hinted that there is a special announcement or news to be shared then I would say sorry not on this occasion as it’s a family day and my kids are family.

I’m always shocked by how many practising Christian’s we have on Mumsnet very holy

Famously nobody ever celebrates Easter as a cultural rather than/as well as a religious festival.

@UndermyShoeJoe many people treat Easter in the same way as Christmas, as family time, not necessarily for religious purposes

So a commercial weekend not really a family weekend for the spirit of Easter.

At which point the children have had their chocolate. Painted some pictures and stuffed their faces presumably on fish on Friday as well.

@UndermyShoeJoe so should children be excluded from Christmas ad it is commercialised?

People use the benefit of Bank Holidays and school holidays to meet up with family, and maybe share gifts and cards. Is that so hard to understand

Strange post. OP hasn't said anything about whether they're religious, and I assume you don't think it's impossible to go to church and have a meal out in the same 3 day weekend?