Brother wants me to get a sitter for a family meal.

[ThatRubyMoose]

Tell me truthfully, would you be willing to get a sitter for your children for a family meal during the day?

My brother wants to go to a gastro pub on Easter Sunday (where children are allowed) and asked me if my daughters could ‘sit this one out’. They are very well behaved. I get the dynamic changes when there are kids but FFS.

I have no issues whatsoever in getting my girls 4 and 9 sat. My mother usually does it and more recently a neighbour’s teenager.

I see my brother often and will pop into see him as where he works has a canteen so he sees me on my own quite often and he also has lots of opportunities to see my mum.

I am really hurt and annoyed.

A very odd request. I'm surprised you didn't ask why!

Over Easter Sunday lunch? Surely he could pick another time if he wants to deliver news unsuitable for children?

Bairns deserve to be apart of a family Easter gathering. So I'd be telling brother that you'll all sit this one out and hope they have a good time. Then make my own arrangements.

Don't do it to the kids.

Surely Easter serves 3 purposes:

• religious observance, if you are so inclined
• an opportunity for a short holiday in a warmer climate
• a lovely day for doing stuff with children - Easter egg hunt, nice family meal, more chocolate than is sensible...

Or have I got the wrong memo...?

I would be spending Easter Sunday with my kids. As far as I’m concerned that request is equivalent to asking if my kids could just miss Christmas dinner - the answer is no, whether he has a reason or not. It’s not the moment for one person to make it about themselves. If he’s got some big news to tell he could do it at some other child free opportunity, sounds like there are several.

I saw him at work on his own on Thursday so he had an opportunity to speak to me then and again at Mum’s on Sunday. When I asked why he just said so we could relax.

I get dynamic changes but FFS! Mid afternoon on Easter Monday. An old, listed pub has been reopened. A family welcome venue.

No behavioural issues whatsoever.

Are you SURE they’re well behaved? Because it seems like an odd request?

If I could easily get a sitter I think a child free lunch with my brother would be lovely. If you don't fancy it then decline. Easy!

It might be the only opportunity to see all the family together, face to face? We don't know from the OP who is included in the meal or how often they get together as a family.

Is it Sunday or Monday? You've said both.

I’d just not go , problem solved .

This is a perfect response IMO. Although no doubt some will be along soon to decry it as too tame and that you tell your brother to FTFO instead.

I get the not wanting kids there (even well behaved ones)as we all enjoy a child-free lunch, but I’d also not ask for a family member to exclude them.

I would just ask him directly whether there is a particular reason why he doesn’t want your children there. If it’s because he wants to share sensitive news, then I would suggest that a family meal on Easter Sunday probably isn’t the right time to do that. If it’s simply because he wants an all-adult vibe at his chosen wanky gastropub, then I would laugh at him and make other arrangements for my family to celebrate Easter.

I can’t blame him for wanting a childfree event once in a while. It gets tiresome with everything always about the kids.

Im very curious in what way it changes the dynamics?
Don’t get me wrong I’m not naive about people’s behavior but it’s a family gathering in the afternoon of Easter Sunday. What does he hope to do if your children won’t be present? To invite a stripper?

Maybe he should “sit this one out” instead. So strange - if understand if he wanted to go for a bottomless brunch or something but not a family friendly pub meal!

Honestly? Good luck getting a babysitter for the daytime on either Easter Sunday or Monday. They’ll either be busy with their own plans or already booked.

Just tell him that you will be relaxed thank you very much.

Yes but that would be an evening event. Easter Sunday or Monday would be a family day for ALL the family. There will be plenty of other children there so if he doesn’t like children suggest he doesn’t come.

I normally wouldn’t mind but not on Easter Sunday, that’s a family day

Perhaps he feels he gets a bit left out on occassions like Christmas and Easter, as they're family occassions so the focus is on the kids. In which case he needs to grow up and get over himself, and not arrange family events and then exclude the kids.

Well you say you have no issues with it, but then are apoplectic that he's dared to ask? When children are involved, it can be difficult to have relaxed, adult conversation, if they take up a lot of attention, are needy, or always centre stage. Is this the first time he's actually asked this of you? Does he make a habit of always wanting child free? Is Easter Sunday (or monday?) a particularly important time for your family?

Absolutely, especially when it is Easter Sunday.
That’s akin to Christmas Day in my book.

If he has something serious to tell you I assume he wouldn’t be waiting until Easter Sunday - so I would establish the purpose/ reason first, but assuming it isn’t anything awful there is not a chance I would allow my children to be left out, and would probably drop him from my plans altogether.