Brother wants me to get a sitter for a family meal.

[ThatRubyMoose]

Tell me truthfully, would you be willing to get a sitter for your children for a family meal during the day?

My brother wants to go to a gastro pub on Easter Sunday (where children are allowed) and asked me if my daughters could ‘sit this one out’. They are very well behaved. I get the dynamic changes when there are kids but FFS.

I have no issues whatsoever in getting my girls 4 and 9 sat. My mother usually does it and more recently a neighbour’s teenager.

I see my brother often and will pop into see him as where he works has a canteen so he sees me on my own quite often and he also has lots of opportunities to see my mum.

I am really hurt and annoyed.

Absolutely no way...... have children and nieces/nephews, would never want them to be excluded from this sort of family meal.

Nope, not for something like Easter lunch. If it was a birthday or similar fine but not for Easter.

Could it be that he has some news he wants to share without having to filter it/ field questions from children?

I wouldn’t attend tbh

Evening meal fine. Lunch WTF no

What is the occasion? If its a more adult themed day i.e. people wanted to have a few drinks I would understand. Your child may well be well behaved, but they do change the dynamic .Has there been any issues before?

If it were an evening meal or a formal event I don’t think his would necessarily be an unreasonable position, but I’d be put out if I was asked to get a babysitter for Sunday lunch in a pub, especially as Easter is a family sort of occasion.

This. I wouldn't automatically assume the worst. He may well have his reasons.

Have you talked to him abut why he want you to get a sitter?

It’s a family occasion. That’s hurtful of him and quite weird really. Did he give more reasons? Is he ttc? What’s your take on it?

Easter Sunday??? Unless there's more to this, he's an arsehole.

Like @GetDressedYouMerryGentlemen I'd assume that he had some news which he wanted to share with you but which wasn't suitable for the children's ears.

Might be have a baby on the way or something like that which its just a bit too early to share with his nieces/nephews? Or be coming out / introducing a new partner etc?

I would just say no, Easter weekend is family time so if your DC aren’t welcome, you won’t be attending.

I'd have to ask him why because to me Easter lunch is a family occasion and that include the small children.

I would (and have) got a sitter for events, including those organised by family which were adults only. But no way lunchtime on Easter Sunday which is an important family day for us.

If this is out of character then I agree it’s worth checking if there will be some sort of announcement.

Maybe in an evening of it it’s an adult birthday but on Easter Sunday no I wouldn’t that’s time for family why would he ask you not to bring them, they are family too. I’d either not go or ask him why.

I'd joking ask what his problem is with his neices. Then explain you'd rather not use a limited babysitting opportunity for a family lunch.

Maybe he wants to discuss something with you that isn't child friendly? I'd only do it if that was the reason to be honest.

I would tell my 'darling' brother to sit this one out himself.

I'd suggest further discussion as easter Sunday is a family occasion. He's specifically asking so don't assume the worst, he may have a reason, ask.

‘No, I want to spend Easter Sunday with my children. Can catch up on X day if there’s something you want to chat about you would rather they didn’t hear’

Does he have a partner? Ask how would he feel if there was a family event and you asked if his partner could sit this one out? You wouldn't because it's rude.
I'm not a "kids to everything" person, but a family party, in the daytime? Rude to exclude some family members like that. Also if your mum is your main sitter you might as well not bother with the 'do' and hang at your house with your mum and kids!

I'd tell him to f*ck off and suggest he sits this one out instead!

This isn't the culture in my family but is in DH's on certain pub meals. I'm talking once a year thing if that though. On those occasions DH just goes alone. We don't have anyone who is happy to babysit for us socially though - if we did then I wouldn't mind leaving the kids with them for a couple of hours for this sort of thing.

Not on Easter Sunday. No!

It's a bit of a strange request for Easter, I agree with pp, just ask him why.