Brother wants me to get a sitter for a family meal.

[ThatRubyMoose]

Tell me truthfully, would you be willing to get a sitter for your children for a family meal during the day?

My brother wants to go to a gastro pub on Easter Sunday (where children are allowed) and asked me if my daughters could ‘sit this one out’. They are very well behaved. I get the dynamic changes when there are kids but FFS.

I have no issues whatsoever in getting my girls 4 and 9 sat. My mother usually does it and more recently a neighbour’s teenager.

I see my brother often and will pop into see him as where he works has a canteen so he sees me on my own quite often and he also has lots of opportunities to see my mum.

I am really hurt and annoyed.

I'd say no to an Easter or Bank Holiday lunch without the kids but I would compromise and suggest and evening meal instead. Easier to get babysitters in the evening anyway.

Just say no, that you are spending Easter Sunday with your kids!

I would understand this for an evening meal slightly more, but even so.

Plus, is he offering to pay for the sitter? Would be double rates for Easter at lesst, surely? If you can even find someone.....

It’s sad he feels like he can’t relax with your kids there. Kids do change the dynamic but for Easter Sunday lunch I think it would be a bit mean to leave them out.

Does he want to linger at the meal and they get bored or do they interrupt a lot?

I think it's totally different. We have never done anything for Easter Sunday (other than open an egg)

OP has now said it's not Easter Sunday but Easter Monday.

asking you to get a sitter for a family holiday meal is ridiculous. I would tell him you can meet up on another day if he doesn’t want to see the younger generation.

a random weekend might be different. He might want an adults gathering for a particular reason. Doing it on Easter is going to upset the children.

The kids are back to school next day here - who would leave them out on that basis ! Odd

@Maddy70 if you invite family for Easter lunch then it is like Christmas.

The suggestion of an adult-only meal out on a random day is fine. The suggestion to leave your kids out of a family lunch on Easter Sunday is not.

Just don’t go

Selfish arse

Absolutely not.
He should sit this one out.
CF.

Why doesn't he just sit this one out if he can't tolerate certain family members

We're going for my mum's birthday lunch on Good Friday and my sister is not bringing her young kids because they will be up and down from the table and all over the place and it is quite annoying and a different atmosphere. We also just want to spend quality time with my mum as we don't see her that often as she lives very far away.

We basically set it up as an 'adults only' meal so I do see where you brother is coming from. In our case, my nephews are with their dad and other grandparents, not left with a sitter.

I think your brother probably doesn't find them as well behaved as you, or he just wants grown up conversation, which is fair enough. Kids do tend to dominate every scenario.

Fuck no. Kids are family. End of.

One of my kids has ASN so their behaviour can often be load and unpredictable and none of my family would ever dream of asking this unless there was something serious to talk about that they didn't want kids to know

Is it Easter Sunday or Monday as you've said both? Sunday no, it's a family day imo. Monday I'd assume he just wants a more adult get together and wouldnt be so bothered

Unless he is dying he has no right to dictate whether you bring your kids to a family lunch in a child friendly place. Orrrrr…maybe I would have reluctantly agreed if he was paying for everyone and a sitter, then it’s more like an event…but really, if he isn’t dying he is being a nob

Not on Easter Sunday. It’s a family day.
A normal day and he might have a point.

Is he paying for it? Is he the one who invited you? If not then I'd just take the kids with you. If so then I'd either find a sitter or decline going.

No not at all.

It's Easter Day! The day of easter eggs, chocolate, dinner and in our house an easter cake. Of course it's unreasonable to expect you too ask you to find a sitter.

I can't believe people are chipping in with kids are annoying etc. Kids are annoying but they also love easter day.

I think it generally depends on the situating but given it is Easter Sunday, I would rather be with my children doing something fun.

A family welcome pub at lunchtime on a BH weekend is likely to have a loooooot of kids in it whether yours go or not! Whose idea was the venue?