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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Engagement ring

473 replies

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 16:32

I got engaged to an man 18 months ago and was lucky enough to be in reciept of a nice engagement ring. Since then I have had a several friends make continual comments about the size of the ring.

My own mother could not believe someone would consider buying it for me, ‘it must be a family ring’. She said she felt her own engagement ring was spectacular but felt deflated upon seeing mines. Another friend just bursts out laughing every time she sees it. I had another one tell me it makes me look like a drag queen. One suggested I did not wear it to work - as it could make people uncomfortable (I ran this one past a couple of friends who said my ring was no more blingy than theirs and thought it was ridiculous).

These comments are from the same people who mocked me in various ways as a thirties single cat lady career woman. I swear they all thought I was ‘on the shelf’ and my only chance for success in romance would be to panic and marry the first man who asked me. In the end I did not panic at all and eventually met a lovely, man who matches me career wise, finacially and ambition wise. I met him through friends and it was all very natural.

The ring matches what we both could easily afford and is in no way ostentacious. I am honestly starting to think their reaction is more to do with the fact I got engaged at all, rather than the ring itself. Its fucking disappointing really that I feel people cannot be happy for me. I just feel instinctively people are trying to ‘burst my bubble’.

YANBU - These people are just jealous / have their own issues
YABU - You should not wear the engagement ring in public just the plain wedding band

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Muffinmam · 16/04/2025 18:14

BunnyLake · 15/04/2025 15:11

How is it awful?

I’d wear it more as a dress ring than an engagement. I think it’s lovely.

Edited

It’s gawdy. After actually seeing the ring I agree with the OP’s family and friends. I’m not jealous of the ring - I would never wear it myself.

Muffinmam · 16/04/2025 18:25

user109876543 · 15/04/2025 14:59

That's not her ring. Look at all the OP's posts.

Yes, she clearly wanted attention and a humble brag. But her ring is just as gawdy on her finger.

Muffinmam · 16/04/2025 18:33

Megifer · 15/04/2025 14:59

That's not OPs ring though 🤣

I'm praying for pics of Kate Spade cat shoes in the background at some point 🙏 l miss that poster I hope she's back (iykyk)

It’s not her ring but she posted it for attention and then posted her real ring which is just as gawdy.

user109876543 · 16/04/2025 18:33

Muffinmam · 16/04/2025 18:25

Yes, she clearly wanted attention and a humble brag. But her ring is just as gawdy on her finger.

Well, to be fair, you'd probably find mine gaudy too (and that's ok) but that wasn't really my point.

I was just trying to alert posters that they were responding, with sympathy, to a ring that wasn't the actual one, and that the post might be less than genuine 🙂

Muffinmam · 16/04/2025 18:34

user109876543 · 15/04/2025 14:59

That's not her ring. Look at all the OP's posts.

I did. She posted this ring for attention.

Her real ring is just as awful.

Muffinmam · 16/04/2025 18:35

BunnyLake · 15/04/2025 15:11

How is it awful?

I’d wear it more as a dress ring than an engagement. I think it’s lovely.

Edited

It looks like costume jewellery.

Muffinmam · 16/04/2025 18:43

user109876543 · 16/04/2025 18:33

Well, to be fair, you'd probably find mine gaudy too (and that's ok) but that wasn't really my point.

I was just trying to alert posters that they were responding, with sympathy, to a ring that wasn't the actual one, and that the post might be less than genuine 🙂

Thank you. I think she did it for attention as she was bored.

springbringshope · 16/04/2025 19:27

Muffinmam · 16/04/2025 18:33

It’s not her ring but she posted it for attention and then posted her real ring which is just as gawdy.

Makes no sense what you say. She didn’t need to post the pragnel pic for attention as the one on her finger is just as big.

fatimashortbread · 16/04/2025 19:58

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 20:32

5c

That is absolutely lovely! Congratulations

Lorlorlorikeet · 16/04/2025 22:32

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 17:57

Here you go - be kind 😂

The £143,000 one? Nice.

Lorlorlorikeet · 16/04/2025 22:34

This?

Engagement ring
user109876543 · 16/04/2025 23:31

Lorlorlorikeet · 16/04/2025 22:34

This?

No.

APocketFullOfRye · 17/04/2025 01:14

user109876543 · 16/04/2025 23:31

No.

Here we go again 🤣🤣🤣

WillimNot · 17/04/2025 19:18

I hope this uploads @mulberrybeige but here's mine (this is version 4 of the rings, I don't wear it every day due to work)

Engagement ring
SALaw · 17/04/2025 19:20

Who are these people in your life?!? I’ve never heard the like! Course it won’t make colleagues feel uncomfortable. How weird to say that.

Dogpawsandcatwhiskers · 17/04/2025 19:28

It's stunning. Congratulations OP!

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 17/04/2025 20:56

@WillimNot

That looks larger than the Op's.

May I ask what it is ? as my PC does not load photos too good to see clearly.

Is that called a teardrop ?

springbringshope · 18/04/2025 07:02

WillimNot · 17/04/2025 19:18

I hope this uploads @mulberrybeige but here's mine (this is version 4 of the rings, I don't wear it every day due to work)

What kind of stone is that?

WillimNot · 18/04/2025 07:47

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 17/04/2025 20:56

@WillimNot

That looks larger than the Op's.

May I ask what it is ? as my PC does not load photos too good to see clearly.

Is that called a teardrop ?

I believe so

@springbringshope no idea. Found it at an antique shop.

stampin · 18/04/2025 08:17

QVC have a lab diamond ring, looks identical, £1,197.

I wouldn't know the difference.

boobot1 · 18/04/2025 08:29

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 16:45

One of them was my Mum which makes it even worse

Just say you're not asking them to wear it.

boobot1 · 18/04/2025 08:32

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 17:57

Here you go - be kind 😂

Now that is as classic a ring as you can get. I dont get it. Looks lovely

springbringshope · 22/04/2025 19:18

stampin · 18/04/2025 08:17

QVC have a lab diamond ring, looks identical, £1,197.

I wouldn't know the difference.

Not a 5ct lab diamond at that price.

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