Engagement ring

[mulberrybeige]

I got engaged to an man 18 months ago and was lucky enough to be in reciept of a nice engagement ring. Since then I have had a several friends make continual comments about the size of the ring.

My own mother could not believe someone would consider buying it for me, ‘it must be a family ring’. She said she felt her own engagement ring was spectacular but felt deflated upon seeing mines. Another friend just bursts out laughing every time she sees it. I had another one tell me it makes me look like a drag queen. One suggested I did not wear it to work - as it could make people uncomfortable (I ran this one past a couple of friends who said my ring was no more blingy than theirs and thought it was ridiculous).

These comments are from the same people who mocked me in various ways as a thirties single cat lady career woman. I swear they all thought I was ‘on the shelf’ and my only chance for success in romance would be to panic and marry the first man who asked me. In the end I did not panic at all and eventually met a lovely, man who matches me career wise, finacially and ambition wise. I met him through friends and it was all very natural.

The ring matches what we both could easily afford and is in no way ostentacious. I am honestly starting to think their reaction is more to do with the fact I got engaged at all, rather than the ring itself. Its fucking disappointing really that I feel people cannot be happy for me. I just feel instinctively people are trying to ‘burst my bubble’.

YANBU - These people are just jealous / have their own issues
YABU - You should not wear the engagement ring in public just the plain wedding band

Pointing out that, while lovely, the OP's ring is not the same one as the initial photo (just to save your jealousy 😅).

There's a bit of bait and switch going on, to say the least.

What this tells you is that they are uncomfortable with the sudden change in your status. It also tells us that some people still think that women are nothing without a husband/boyfriend, which is pretty disappointing. They are pissed that they can't secretly mock you anymore and, now that you will have a husband in tow, will have to give you a different kind of respect (again, very disappointing). Fuck 'em!

Thanks. I’m sure that’s all taken care of then. Mine wasn’t valuable enough for that and we claimed on the house insurance, but it’s worth others with rings of less than about £1500 knowing that they need photos and photos that clearly show that it’s you wearing the ring. Holding your hands up to your face etc.
To be honest for me it was the sentimentality of the ring that devastated me. I got a replacement (completely different they couldn’t do a like for like on the sapphires I had originally) which I love but it will never have the same emotional attachment.

YANBU

I had similar reactions when I met my now husband at 44 and married 2 years later. My mum and Dad didn't come 'as you're a bit old for that sort of thing' and my mum was shocked and devastated when she saw the photos. Apparently she didn't think it would be a real wedding. One of my no longer close friends said you're not wearing white are you. I think so many of my friends were.used to me being single they couldn't get on with it. Doesn't help that he's ex army, gorgeous fit, fairly rich and adores me. 18 years later those friends are a distant memory my parents have sincerely apologised and adore him and we are very, very happy.

TLDNR: fuck em they don't matter

I was trying to be polite 😉

What does "bait and switch" mean??

Oh yes I know sorry I was highlighting your post/ agreeing with you.

It's a term that means advertising something and then replacing it with an inferior product.

Usually a sales term, but in this instance, the OP has posted an initial picture of a ring, that people are commenting on, followed by a photo of a clearly different, and possibly very nice, but lesser quality, ring on her finger.

It makes me mad for you that it's bothered you enough to come here, people can be such arseholes. Wear it at all times and only use your left hand in any and all interactions near them just to rub it in. Screw them!!!

Ah I see, thanks for explaining, I had never heard that term before!

If they mention it again, look confused and say, “I would have thought you’d be happy for me.”

Someone mentioned Elizabeth Taylor a bit back.

I'm sure I read somewhere that Princess Margaret called ET's Krupp diamond ring vulgar.

So she gave it to PM to try on & when she did said "not so vulgar now is it?"

Don't know if it's true but I hope so!

@GRex is correct, that ring is priceless in what it has exposed.

A loud "OUCH" is a fab response to any snide remark.

People aren't long STFU when you answer exactly what you mean by it..

I knew someone whose fiancé proposed to her right before he lost his job. He proposed with the understanding he would buy her a ring that she chooses herself so that she loves it.

He was then made redundant from his job and got a pretty huge payout and managed to get a job pretty much straight away.

So he put almost all of it towards the ring. His fiancé knew someone whose dad was a diamond trader so they got a really good deal. The ring is the biggest I’ve ever seen.

The only thing I ever said was “wow - that’s huge!” Her husband explained he was worried about buying her any ring at all after he lost his job but it all worked out and the money he got he wasn’t planned.

Not one person said anything nasty about her ring.

Everyone is jealous of you.

She has fake rings at home - which is why she won’t wear them.

It’s lovely! Pure jealousy 💯 it’s a classic solitaire

That is a 5 carat diamond valued at £143,000.

That is such an ostentatious show of wealth.

I thought they were all just being bitchy but when I saw this it just looks so gawdy.

Can you return it?

Even if I even had this money I wouldn’t wear this ring.

For those of you who want to see how much this ring costs, it’s here:

https://www.pragnell.co.uk/classic-six-claw-501ct-brilliant-cut-diamond-ring_0111737-p

I think it’s awful.

I think the ring is absolutely stunning and if a friend of mine had received it my only question would be "Can I try it on?" 😃

I have to say I would be very nervous to wear something of that value though!

That's not OPs ring though 🤣

I'm praying for pics of Kate Spade cat shoes in the background at some point 🙏 l miss that poster I hope she's back (iykyk)

That's not her ring. Look at all the OP's posts.

I’m not jealous of the ring and I thought they were all being bitchy until I saw the ring.

But after seeing it it does look vulgar and impractical.

It’s such an ostentatious show of wealth and would be dangerous wearing it around. Not just people wanting to steal it, but people following me home thinking of what else I had to steal and also the risk of it getting caught in something and falling off or getting caught in something and losing a finger.

It’s beautiful, I’ve been in the company of two women wearing similar sized ring, looked beautiful in RL too. Both women very classy, suited them. Congratulations OP - wear with pride. Turn it around if feeling vulnerable in public

How is it awful?

I’d wear it more as a dress ring than an engagement. I think it’s lovely.