Page 2 | Engagement ring

mulberrybeige · 2025-04-14T15:32:11+00:00

I got engaged to an man 18 months ago and was lucky enough to be in reciept of a nice engagement ring. Since then I have had a several friends make continual comments about the size of the ring. My own mother could not believe someone would consider buying it for me, ‘it must be a family ring’. She said she felt her own engagement ring was spectacular but felt deflated upon seeing mines. Another friend just bursts out laughing every time she sees it. I had another one tell me it makes me look like a drag queen. One suggested I did not wear it to work - as it could make people uncomfortable (I ran this one past a couple of friends who said my ring was no more blingy than theirs and thought it was ridiculous). These comments are from the same people who mocked me in various ways as a thirties single cat lady career woman. I swear they all thought I was ‘on the shelf’ and my only chance for success in romance would be to panic and marry the first man who asked me. In the end I did not panic at all and eventually met a lovely, man who matches me career wise, finacially and ambition wise. I met him through friends and it was all very natural. The ring matches what we both could easily afford and is in no way ostentacious. I am honestly starting to think their reaction is more to do with the fact I got engaged at all, rather than the ring itself. Its fucking disappointing really that I feel people cannot be happy for me. I just feel instinctively people are trying to ‘burst my bubble’. YANBU - These people are just jealous / have their own issues YABU - You should not wear the engagement ring in public just the plain wedding band

mindutopia · 14/04/2025 17:34

I used to get a lot of “wow, that’s big!” comments about my engagement ring. It is probably bigger than most (2.5 ct), but it’s a semi-precious gemstone, not a diamond. The stone itself is beautiful and very unique, but it cost £50! I know because Dh and I bought it together from a gem dealer and he had it made into a ring for me. It’s a beautiful ring, but not flashy and over the top.

I think people make comments when they have different expectations to reality. No one comments about my ring anymore as we are well out of the getting engaged stage of life. But now we get it about our house. It IS a big house and is certainly bigger than any of our friends’ or family’s houses or dc’s friends’ houses. Dh and I have quite quirky non-traditional careers. So, we aren’t solicitors or hospital consultants or City bankers or whatever people expect when they see someone who has a comfortable lifestyle. We just worked bloody hard in our slightly unusual careers and saved until we were 40 to buy our first house and it’s a particularly nice one. I think people who know us find we come across as quite ordinary and down to earth and then they come over for a play date and can’t wrap their heads around the house. We get a lot of “Wow, your house is huge” or “Do you own this?!” (Neither of which I frankly would ever say to anyone). We’ve even had a few “Who are you looking after this for?!” 😂

Dh, bless him, once had a 20 minute conversation with a random man walking past on the footpath who assumed he was the gardener and wanted to know who the new owners were. And Dh told him all about them and how lovely they were! The man couldn’t compute that this young guy weeding the spring flower bed by the drive actually might have owned the place and just launched into the conversation on the assumption Dh was hired help.

As for the ring. Now, of course, it could be a really over the top gaudy ring. But my guess it’s a little mix of jealousy along with not thinking of you as the ‘right sort’ for a nice ring, which is not strictly the same as being jealous, but is still quite rude.

Original poster

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 17:37

mindutopia · 14/04/2025 17:34

I used to get a lot of “wow, that’s big!” comments about my engagement ring. It is probably bigger than most (2.5 ct), but it’s a semi-precious gemstone, not a diamond. The stone itself is beautiful and very unique, but it cost £50! I know because Dh and I bought it together from a gem dealer and he had it made into a ring for me. It’s a beautiful ring, but not flashy and over the top.

I think people make comments when they have different expectations to reality. No one comments about my ring anymore as we are well out of the getting engaged stage of life. But now we get it about our house. It IS a big house and is certainly bigger than any of our friends’ or family’s houses or dc’s friends’ houses. Dh and I have quite quirky non-traditional careers. So, we aren’t solicitors or hospital consultants or City bankers or whatever people expect when they see someone who has a comfortable lifestyle. We just worked bloody hard in our slightly unusual careers and saved until we were 40 to buy our first house and it’s a particularly nice one. I think people who know us find we come across as quite ordinary and down to earth and then they come over for a play date and can’t wrap their heads around the house. We get a lot of “Wow, your house is huge” or “Do you own this?!” (Neither of which I frankly would ever say to anyone). We’ve even had a few “Who are you looking after this for?!” 😂

Dh, bless him, once had a 20 minute conversation with a random man walking past on the footpath who assumed he was the gardener and wanted to know who the new owners were. And Dh told him all about them and how lovely they were! The man couldn’t compute that this young guy weeding the spring flower bed by the drive actually might have owned the place and just launched into the conversation on the assumption Dh was hired help.

As for the ring. Now, of course, it could be a really over the top gaudy ring. But my guess it’s a little mix of jealousy along with not thinking of you as the ‘right sort’ for a nice ring, which is not strictly the same as being jealous, but is still quite rude.

Edited

This! I am very chilled, down to earth never splash the cash and I think its the polarisation that people cannot cope with!

OP posts:

RhododendronFlowers · 14/04/2025 17:40

There's no need for anyone to be rude, though. It's an engagement ring, you say "congratulations" that's easy.

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 14/04/2025 17:42

Enjoy every second of your engagement and also of proudly showing off your lovely ring. Who needs enemies with people like that around you?! Jealousy is such an ugly emotion.

80smonster · 14/04/2025 17:42

Let’s have a look at this ostentatious ring then? Personally, I’m not a fan of massive diamonds, not because of money or bling factor, they just make my hand look like Miss Piggy’s. Also they can look very lab grown, which I’m not a fan of either, to me antique rings are chicest.

violetqueen6 · 14/04/2025 17:43

I don't suppose you could post a pic?
Not for judgement but I'm curious.
Apologies if that's rude.

PluckyBamboo · 14/04/2025 17:43

Are these actual friends or just work colleagues as that is such a weird reaction? Definitely sounds like the green eyed monster.

CatsChin · 14/04/2025 17:44

Photo or none of this happened. <gavel>

Glitchymn1 · 14/04/2025 17:44

You need new friends!

Catlady63 · 14/04/2025 17:45

A colleague of mine got engaged at 40 and I was shocked at bitchy comments made by a couple of other colleagues about it.

They were happy thinking of her as a sad spinster, it made up for her being more successful than them. Now they couldn't pity her anymore, so bitchiness came out, even in front of me, and they knew we were friends.

So congrats OP on annoying the mean girls!

MaggieBsBoat · 14/04/2025 17:48

Photo please please

LegendIsMyFavouriteGladiator · 14/04/2025 17:49

YABU for not posting a pic of the ring.

I once worked with a woman who was engaged to a very wealthy man. She had a massive rock, nestled in between two slightly less massive rocks, on her finger. Whenever she gesticulated I found myself following the rocks like someone going under hypnosis.

Your friends sound jealous and nasty.

Original poster

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 17:54

Catlady63 · 14/04/2025 17:45

A colleague of mine got engaged at 40 and I was shocked at bitchy comments made by a couple of other colleagues about it.

They were happy thinking of her as a sad spinster, it made up for her being more successful than them. Now they couldn't pity her anymore, so bitchiness came out, even in front of me, and they knew we were friends.

So congrats OP on annoying the mean girls!

THIS! Thank you for entirely validating how I feel!

OP posts:

OrsolaRosso · 14/04/2025 17:55

I bet your ring is lovely. Would you post a photo to show us?

Tubs11 · 14/04/2025 17:56

As long as you love it then it doesn't really matter what other people think.

Original poster

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 17:57

Here you go - be kind 😂

OP posts:

RhododendronFlowers · 14/04/2025 17:58

It's a beauty! Classic solitaire.
Not blingy, not Drag Queenish, not likely to promote hilarity.
Congratulations 🎉 !

Quiceinalifetime · 14/04/2025 18:00

What a nasty lot of people you seem to know. What's all that about, OP???

OrsolaRosso · 14/04/2025 18:00

It's certainly a stunner, but in a classic way.

I think the comments you are getting are definitely down to jealousy.

hopeishere · 14/04/2025 18:01

So it’s just a massive solitaire? It’s lovely and they’re probably jealous.

80smonster · 14/04/2025 18:03

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 17:57

Here you go - be kind 😂

Ignore the bitches. That looks lovely.

SingingSands · 14/04/2025 18:03

That's a beautiful and classic ring - not offensive at all. I surmise that those commenting are just being bitchy!

Congratulations OP - enjoy your engagement and your lovely man!

Quiceinalifetime · 14/04/2025 18:03

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 17:57

Here you go - be kind 😂

It's really nice. A classic diamond ring, on the large size but there's nothing weird about it. Congratulations.

AlanShore · 14/04/2025 18:05

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 17:57

Here you go - be kind 😂

It's a solitaire.

Size of diamond? Picture of it on your hand??

Original poster

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 18:05

Quiceinalifetime · 14/04/2025 18:00

What a nasty lot of people you seem to know. What's all that about, OP???

I think its like a previous poster said - they used to use my love life as a form of entertainment sadly. Just needed to meet someone who adored me, and showed it in a form of a large diamond for the claws to come out.

OP posts: