To not want my husband to attend his female best friend’s wedding without me?

[BluntAzurePeer]

My husband has a long-time female best friend - they’ve never dated but had a brief “thing” years ago before we met. She’s getting married abroad and due to work and budget, I can’t attend. He still wants to go alone, says it’s important to him and it’s “just a friend.” I trust him but I’m not entirely comfortable with the idea of him flying off solo to a wedding of someone he once had a thing with. AIBU for saying I don’t want him to go?

What do you think is going to happen? They were friends before you came along. If they wanted to be together then they would be. You obviously don't trust him no matter what you say.

Are they having a party at home?

What do you think is going to happen? Will he charge down the aisle screaming ‘Nooooo!’?

What do you think is going to happen at her wedding? Is he going to stand up in the bit where they ask if anyone knows a reason why they can't marry?

I probably wouldn't be comfortable if he was flying off to meet her on holiday, but in this scenario I wouldn't be worried.

Hard to say if YABU based solely on your post. It seems pretty unlikely that anything is going to happen between him and someone who is actually getting married? But you maybe have reasons not to trust him?

Get your ducks in a row and LTB!!

Only joking, I really don’t see the problem?

She's getting married. She'll be busy. Do you think he'll object to their marriage and she'll fall in to his arms and they'll run off in to the sunset?

Get a grip. Your marriage is going to feel very long and hard if you keep up with this sort of nonsense.

She is literally getting married, to someone else. She’s hardly a risk to your relationship.

I voted YABU on the basis you were invited (If you weren’t invited and it was the brides choice to not include you, I would probably vote differently)
I assume she came to your wedding? It sounds like she is a close friend who your husband wants to support. If he can afford to and it doesn’t affect family finances then I don’t see why not. The same applies if you want to travel and see friends without him. I am assuming there is no further backstory and no other suspicions you have.
How is your relationship with this lady and is there anything that makes you feel insecure?

Why don’t you want him to go? What’s your actual reason?

ETA as it stands, YABU

What exactly are you afraid of happening here?

You can't expect him not to go to a wedding just because you can't

Well it’s a shame you can’t go too as it’s nice to go to a wedding abroad.

But she’s getting married so seems unlikely there’s anything going on!

What do you think is going to happen at her wedding?

Presumably she’ll be too preoccupied shagging her own new husband to worry about having a go on yours again.

It’s not that I think something will definitely happen and it’s not about distrusting him. I trust him. But I also think you can trust someone and still have feelings of discomfort in a specific situation, especially one with emotional history and distance involved.

I’m not trying to forbid anything, I’m just being honest about how it makes me feel, which I think is part of any healthy relationship too.

Yanbu and a bit silly.

…do we think this might happen ?

o

No, as far as I know there isn’t a separate celebration at home - the main event is the wedding abroad, which makes it harder. If there was something local we could both attend, I’d feel a bit more comfortable with it.

but she's getting MARRIED to someone else. You were invited. You can't go.

He wants to go.

If you try and emotionally manipulate him because of your insecurities, and he doesn't go, that will cause so much resentment.

But what exactly is making you uncomfortable?

Its the girls wedding not some boozy night out (which even then I wouldn't have an issue with but could understand why that would make you uncomfortable! )

I just dont understand what your issue is with him going?

YABU and if I'm honest a little controlling. How would you feel if he told you, you couldn't go to a friend's wedding because he didn't trust you?

No matter how much you protest that you trust him the fact is your actions show you don't.

Discomfort about what?! He’s going to her wedding, where she’s marrying someone else for goodness sake! You’re being totally unreasonable.

Discomfort about what?! She’s marrying someone else for goodness sake! You’re being totally unreasonable.