To not want my husband to attend his female best friend’s wedding without me?

[BluntAzurePeer]

My husband has a long-time female best friend - they’ve never dated but had a brief “thing” years ago before we met. She’s getting married abroad and due to work and budget, I can’t attend. He still wants to go alone, says it’s important to him and it’s “just a friend.” I trust him but I’m not entirely comfortable with the idea of him flying off solo to a wedding of someone he once had a thing with. AIBU for saying I don’t want him to go?

Indeed, but that assumes they can afford two trips and he can also have additional time off.

Yes that would be assuming he can get more than a few days holiday each year and two working adults can afford one wedding and one holiday a year

Well... they might not?

Sorry I am finding this very nitpicky. I wish I hadn't bothered replying tbh.

Your right that is very nitpicky!

Ahahaaaaa I see what you did there. Soooo funnnnyyyyty

I’d not be happy with my DH staying friends with someone he had something with in the past so I can see why you’re uncomfortable!!

So your jealous of her, and their friendship , you're jealous you're husband is going to a wedding abroad without you, and because you can't go you have a problem with him going , but it would be fine if you both went ?
This is definitely a you problem

I don't know why you've asked, to be honest @BluntAzurePeer . You clearly think you're right and you're only responding fully to the outliers who agree with you.

Yes I can understand a slight unease but the OP said this woman attended their wedding, and she has now invited them to her wedding (albeit OP cant make it). So this woman being friends with her husband is not some secret coming out the woodwork. Why have her at your own wedding if it's an issue.

And? My ex was my best man, normal people love and value their friends, and are happy to see their partner loving and valuing friendships.

'Man here. My wife's male best friend is getting married abroad. I can't go, and I don't want my wife to attend without me. AIBU?'

The thread would be unanimous in handing OP their arse and offering DW help to escape their controlling spouse.

MN is still more oblivious to red flags when they're being waved by a woman.

I totally understand how you feel and think I would feel the same but is there any value in sharing your feelings with him…probably not? I think It’s ok with being a bit uncomfortable with something your partner is doing and just to feel that feeling and not need to try and change it or act on it. You will be ok. It’s not odd for him to want to go alone whoever said that.

I don’t get this at all - including those saying he has a thing for her.

he is going to watch her GET MARRIED. It’s the total opposite of seeing her in a situation where a hook up is possible.

YABU and you either trust him or you don’t. I’d be furious if my partner tried to stop me/tried to insinuate this was a dodgy request.

The thread would be unanimous in handing OP their arse and offering DW help to escape their controlling spouse.
The thread has been 99% people handing OP her arse and plenty calling her controlling so not sure what your point is.

Plenty responses have been telling OP she is being unreasonable and some saying controlling. It's nothing to do with male or female. The vote also shows that.

If they are going to fuck around at her wedding then your marriage is fucked whether he goes or not

The ONLY thing that would be justified is as you’ve mentioned you can’t afford to go, I’d be annoyed that he was spending money to go to this wedding rather than putting it towards a holiday for the two of you
other than that I’d have no issue

Um.. What? I have a best friend of almost 30 years (male) and we were a couple for two years, when I was 17; 20 years ago. Didn't work, remained friends afterwards.

If my partner tried to prevent me going to my best friend's wedding - he'd be an ex, no question. Him being controlling, pathetically insecure and having batshit 'feelings' wouldn't trump my 30 year old friendship.

I went to one of my ex girlfriends weddings quite recently. It was lovely, and i was so happy for her. It left me with a feeling that we had both grown up together, and i felt really grateful that we'd both found love and secure futures. If anything it made me reflect on how lucky i was to have my lovely wife and family.

Ooof you are either manipulative and controlling or a liar. You say you trust him so either you are lying about that or you want to control him. Either way they are your issues not his. You were actually invited and it's you who can't go so suck it up buttercup and stop being a kill joy.

He chose her. She chose someone else.

I hope you haven’t told him that you don’t trust him. Think how pissed off you’d be if the situation were reversed and you wanted to attend an old friend’s wedding.

Knowing you’re not trusted , with no basis for it, is horrible.

She's literally getting married, presumably to a man she loves very much and wants to spend the rest of her life with. And I presume you were invited but just can't attend.
Whats the issue here? We all have a past. It's clear that following their "thing" they realised they weren't meant to be together but were able to remain friends. We all have people like that from our past. I think you need to let this go.

Most people are saying OP is being controlling. Not sure which thread you’re reading but it ain’t this one 😂

She is marrying someone else. Your DH is a friend only. Not an issue attending the wedding.

I'd be more worried about the fact that he can afford to go and you can't and that doesn't give him pause for thought.