Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

This is how I’ve been feeling over the past few weeks. I was constantly trying to cover up my muffin top, wearing fairly heavy foundation, feeling quite low about my jowls etc. But I’m starting to think “so what?”. I’m in reasonably good health, fairly fit (although about 2 stone over my “ideal” weight), am financially comfortable and life is good at the moment overall.

I’m late 50s and think I am finally accepting who I am and just living life. Sure I try to look nice when I go out, but I’m definitely not “worrying” about how I look to the same extent.

@ThisChic

I guess by your standards black women are out of the 10/10 league then? We don’t generally use fake tan.

🙄🙄🙄

The best and quickest way to feel happy is by closing down all the social media apps. I did aside from here and I’ve never looked back. Every day brings stories of damage and harm from it and I just think, get off it then. I guarantee the current trend for identikit faces and bodies will look dated and trashy after it’s day. My advice is take care of your skin and hair and eat healthily and love who you are, you don’t need to compare yourself with online nonsense, for the most part it isn't even real.

Why would you want fake tan and hair extensions? They won't make you happy. And small breasts are in - they look good in some of the current waify styles. Lucky you.

And who cares?

I feel the same way OP! Although I’d never get my boobs done I don’t really care about that.
I don’t think you’re unreasonable to want to change things about yourself to make yourself feel more attractive. It’s unfortunate but it’s the world we live in.

I am very average 47 year old. I did have my teeth straightened about 15 years ago. It had a big impact psychologically. I never smiled before. It's obvious but smiling does make you feel happier!

About 4 years ago I had a boob job. I wrestled with myself for years for all the reasons people have said in this post, plus having an unnecessary operation. I've been with my partner for many years. He really wasn't bothered either way. I didn't tell anyone and nobody noticed, because I don't dress in a revealing way. It was just for me and I am pleased with the results. They are natural, not massive and fit my bodyshape.

I think the dog is embarrassed of some of dog walking outfits and how I roll out of bed and put my hair in a pony tail without brushing it

@SnakesandKnives 'peculiar' is perfect word to describe these girls. Over the years my area has turned quite 'instagrammy'. These girls look bizarre in real life. My partner and I constantly wonder why girls do the lips. I cant help staring and we are convinced they they think, we think they look beautiful. There is a breed of woman where I live where I am pretty sure hair, nail appointments are their actual full time job. They always seem unhappy and tense (maybe they cut off the circulation with those tight leggings). They all look the same as well.

Personally I think most women with fake everything, pure white teeth etc look fucking ridiculous.

First, your premise is wrong. We don't all strive to look our best. I don't.

On the other hand, no, there's nothing wrong with it - within reason.

But on the other hand, there is indeed something wrong with self-image dependent on TikTok. Please be aware that a slender, big breasted woman is not exactly normal.

You’re being slightly ridiculous. Look at Ana de Armas. Stunningly gorgeous, a firm 10, but small boobs. A healthy glow to the skin never goes a miss but you don’t have to have silicone implanted to be beautiful.

The OP is AI, surely? No actual human thinks this way

This idea reminds me of when men want to be women that they think other imaginary men will find attractive. It’s sad but I can’t fix men so 🤷‍♀️

I agree with ManyATrue word’s post. It does sound like you’re objectifying yourself, OP. And they’re right; men who genuinely like and respect women have the ability to see past looks.

I’m overweight with a cleavage that rivals the parting of the red sea, flabby all over, and I’m covered in silvery stretch marks. I can’t even “blame” the stretch marks and flab on pregnancy, it’s a result of me putting on 7 stone in less than 18 months and losing (most of it) again fairly quickly.
And yet, I’ve never been made to feel “less than” by my partner. He makes me feel like the most sexy woman in the world.
His reaction to me entering the room when I’m dressed up for a night out with my hair in a bouncy blow-dry, full face of makeup and eyelashes, a “flattering” outfit with a push up bra & control underwear underneath is the exact same as the morning after where I’m makeup-free, my hair’s in a pineapple bun, and I’m wearing pyjamas with holes and grease from last night’s kebab all over them.

Important to add though, my worth will never come from how a man, or the rest of society, makes me feel. I’ve spent far too many years worrying about that. It will come from my “actual” self. If I continue teaching myself that I’m a good person worthy of being of loved and respected, then that I am. And anybody who disagrees for superficial reasons, can go fuck themselves. Because I sure as hell won’t!

I think OP you are confusing people on the internet with people in real life.
Are you looking for a specific type of man, because there is all sorts of men and they like all sorts of women. My husband finds slim women with large mouths unnatractive (weird thing to dislike) so julia roberts for example, even in her hey day he finds a massive turn off. Other men like larger ladies, some like short hair, some like small boobs.
Its total bollox that there is a type of woman that all men like.
Some men like the barbie doll look, but its not all men, if you get all this work done you will become a dickheads conquest. Or, if youre smart you could become a ruthless gold digger.
Otherwise, what you will be is the same person with the same self esteem amd men issues but with bigger boobs.

Who would want to be attractive to men that rate and score women and who think a woman must have long hair, fake tan and big tits to look good? Only a particular type of man has those prerequisites and they're generally not the decent ones.

For what it's worth I come from a family of generations of women who all have very small boobs, think AA at the biggest. Only one has or ever had long hair, none of us have ever used fake tan, all of us are highly intelligent interesting women and every single one of us has never ever had any problem attracting and keeping great men, men with good looks, great personalities, highly successful, who think we are the most beautiful and attractive women. Somehow we managed that with our flat chests, short hair and pale skin, because believe it or not, there are loads of fabulous men who don't care one jot about the things you think are so important.

Work on your self esteem and personality and stop trying to make yourself into some identikit tiktok woman. Maybe then you'll find a decent man who actually likes real women.

A certain type of man looks for a certain type of woman. I don't want attention from that sort of man.

OP, don't fall into the trap of thinking there's only one way to look attractive. There so isn't, and the look you're describing can be very identikit and fake, especially when horrendous duckface lips are in the equation. I know it's a cliché but I honestly think the best looking women are the ones who make the most of what they've got but stay essentially themselves. And IME the best men want a woman to look/be who she really is, not an Insta clone.

Agree, its like a person with stuff stuck on. Like a sexy mister potatoe head.

I like feeling pretty, which is harder now I am in my 50s. I like wearing a lovely dress or something that is flattering.
I don't think I have ever thought if my attractiveness on a scale of 0-10 or desired to be a 10. What the heck is a 10 anyway? Who decides? My DH thinks I am gorgeous. He still calls me his beautiful girl. We have been together 35 years. Objectively I am a size 18 with greying hair, tree trunk legs and big boobs, but quite a nice face. I am not going to attract a guy who thinks that only skinny blondes with fake boobs, turkey teeth, lip fillers and thick make up is attractive - but then I don't particularly want to.

My sons are young adults and they definitely prefer a more natural look in the women they find attractive.

Why wouldn't you want someone who thinks YOU are gorgeous just the way you are? If you want to tweak a bit for vanity or to make yourself feel better, that's one thing - I had a facial blemish that bothered me removed- but changing your body specifically for the male gaze? Not for me.

Hi OP

Please explain why you consider small breasts to be a 'flaw' rather than just a natural variation, without including its what some men find conventionally attractive

I think you'll find it impossible

I used to think I wanted a book job. Until I really really examined my thought process and realised it was insecurity about how men saw me. Yes maybe other women judge...but actually they're only judging on what they predict men will find attractive, not what they do

If you were going to be trapped on a desert island by yourself, or in a nunnery with other women for the rest of your life and never see a man again, would you really consider a boob job? I think its unlikely

One thing I will add regarding a few comments I’ve seen on this thread; it is entirely possible to be fake tanned and fake eyelashed (not a word but it is now), and still be intelligent.
It’s counterproductive to insult other women’s looks whilst trying to stress that looks don’t matter.

Missing a leg, no hair anywhere currently and the just downright unfairness of being both scrawny because of weightloss AND having a massive moon face because of steroids here!

but I’m alive so if I’m repulsive to look at I couldn’t give a rats arse!

Another woman with huge norks here. I wish I hadn’t. Apart from being uncomfortable, there’s a significant percentage of men who will think of you as a pair of breasts rather than a person. It gets very wearing.