Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

@StrawberryDream24 .... being accosted by a woman in a bar with a very prominent cleavage who appeared to think he'd be struck with lust & attraction....

I do think that some (not all!) women with lots of cleavage think they are the height of sexiness and can 'captivate' men with their cleavage.....I've had a few backhanded compliments from a few women with big boobs in the past. 😅🙄

I've got a big bag with no fucks left in it - I can lend it to you so you can use it every time some random bloke shares his opinion that your boobs are too small.

Then you can move on with the more interesting task of finding one of the many hundreds of thousands who doesn't have that opinion in the first place.

I googled her. She doesn't look like a typical Lad's Mag model, but that's a good thing....

As you can see, she doesn't have a big bust either.

Nor do either of these ladies - whom two guys I know have gigantic crushes on.

Forget about the incels
Seriously.

I've got a big bag with no fucks left in it

My new favourite phrase.

I find this thread so weird because:

Most men I know well prefer a rail thin, youthful looking figure with small breasts.

I work in the fashion industry and the desirable shape is narrow, small hips, small bust, long legs.

That link says the male participants tended to 'rate highly' women who were slim and confident, not based on bra size. There was a separate descriptor of 'curvaceous' - it wasn't mentioned in the sentences about which things male participants 'rated' most highly.

Also, the 'study' is about 15 years old and its methodology is a bit shit.

You believe that incels even a tiny bit when they claim are the ones who tell the truth other men are ‘too PC’ to say.

The group of men who are literally involuntarily celibate because women don’t want to shag them?

Whose core beliefs hinge on women being unreasonable for not shagging them?

They are the men whose opinion about women you are spending time listening to and absorbing?

Good grief.

A few of us have suggested counselling before you look further into permanent surgery. Is it something you’d consider?

You also don't seem to have considered that incels are malicious (and tbh some other men too) ..... Because they feel inferior and low status and that their pulling, sex and relationship prospects are not what they'd like.

. T. hey resent/hate women and want you to feel bad and insecure. They get gratification out of that.

It's quite a male trait that. The entire bye Felipe site is based on men negging and degrading and verbally attacking women whom they were seeking sex or relationships with - until they were rejected or anticipated rejection.

They feel bad about themselves, they feel angry, they deeply resent women.....but you think they're telling the gods honest truth with no agenda?

Normal men like all sorts of body types. Normal men have sex with, have relationships with, marry, have kids with etc women with small & medium busts every day of the week. Even the ones with almost infinite choice - as I have shown you - do too.

Darling, if you're not happy with things then by all means change it but do it for you! Don't do it for men. You already said that men will generally shag anything whatever they look like.

How about, you change your look and still get no interest from men?
I can imagine that will be very detrimental to you and how you already perceive yourself.

I'm sorry I haven't read all the comments so I apologise if this has been covered already.
Lacking self esteem is an extremely unpleasant thing and it's something that you have to work on through therapy I've found.
I'm 47 and have had low self esteem for most of my life. I'm currently in therapy and have worked on this recently.
Do you get the voice who tells you that you're shit and don't deserve to be loved? People are only nice to you because they feel sorry for you?

I did (still do). I talk back to it and tell it there's no evidence of that so keep your opinions to yourself. Or words to that effect.

Btw as someone who has had massive knockers since the age of 12/13, I'm jealous you can wear dresses/tops etc with no bra! I've never really been able to do that. Twice I've done it. Two different dresses but I couldn't do much lol I couldn't dance with no bra but I looked fucking great wherever I stood 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I feel sad for the way you feel about yourself but there's ways around it and help mentally x

I'm not in fashion and the men I know mostly prefer curves.

I'm not saying that to be a dick.
Just ironic (?)

"I’ve actually been told by Incels online how terrible small breasts are in the past…"

I cannot understand why you would even talk to these repulsive individuals, who advocate for women having NO right to refuse a man sex, @ThisChic - never mind giving what they say any credence!

They literally see women as meat, as walking vaginas who owe them sex - what makes you believe that they speak for decent men? Why would you want to appeal to them?

In general, I find a certain type of man likes to wax lyrical about what he likes physically in women, how women should be, what turns him on, which women are hot etc etc etc

(They tend to do this with little to no awareness of their own looks).

If you do it back - however - they don't like it.

If you answer every statement with a statement about what you find physically attractive in men, what you don't find attractive, which men are hot ..... Particularly focusing on men with looks that many men couldn't achieve (like the Hemsworths, Momoa, Hugh Jackman, Henry Cavill.etc) .. you'll soon find they learn to shut the fuck up.

There was a guy on a forum with quite a few incels triumphantly stating that women must be so sad and feel so inferior looking at super models.

I asked him does he feel that way when he looks at David Gandy and Sean O Pre etc.

He left the conversation.

Yeah, out of those I only really like Jason Momoa and Hemsworth. The other men are ok but I don't particularly fancy them.

I don't fancy Robert Pattison or hugely fancy Ryan Gosling, but Chris Evans could cause me to spontaneously ovulate.

Another famous, wealthy, successful, top tier looks actor (Italian heartthrob Michele Morrone) whose choice of wife is not big boobed.

I mean, look at the pictures of him; he clearly had to settle, right?

Yes, had Kate Middleton (as she then was) had a boob job she might now be on course to be the next Queen of....oh wait.

Why don't you look at the examples that @StrawberryDream24 and others have posted of handsome, wildly successful men who seem not to be selecting or valuing partners based on the size of their bosom, rather than take on board the remarks of incels as you say you have, @ThisChic ?

I understand what you’re saying and lots of men you know probably so like that…

But in British and American culture, I think we’ve all seen those men who go on about ‘big tits’ and in the 1980s ‘great knockers’ etc, there’s been Playboy, Page 3, most lads’ mags models had big tits.. I think its obvious how a woman could think that small = not sexy.

Curves as in actual hourglass or curvy as in ‘straight up and down with boobs’ though?

I don’t want to appeal to the Incels. I just thought that they were telling the truth about what most men think.

You have to get out of this mindset of focusing on what men think. It is your own hang up. Some men prefer big boobs. Other men will think you are too old/ young, too tall/ short, don’t like your accent, the way you dress, your bum is too big/ small, you have a scar/ blemishes, you’re not smart or educated enough/ or the other way around.. I mean some men are racist/ wouldn’t date someone disabled. Some are gay. Some have a fetish for feet and could care less about breasts FFS. The point is you are not bothered about any of that. You are the one who’s fixated on large breasts and you are using selective attention to find evidence that proves you are right and ignoring everything else.

So many posters have told you that those incels do not speak for all men, they speak for themselves, a tiny minority of seriously fucked up males who know nothing about women in real life.

The more you continue in this thread the more obvious it is that
a) you are taking no notice of what huge numbers of older and vastly more experienced people are saying; and

b) you really do need some kind of therapy to help you deal with your way of thinking about yourself and your relationships with men. I really think it will help you going forward. The self-obsession and fixation on imaginary problems that you exhibit at the moment is not going to enable you to have any kind of healthy relationship or view of your own worth.

@ThisChic why do you want to be attractive to all men? Surely just being attractive to some is enough and then just to one you spend your life with.

Because I don’t look like I did when I met DH 21 years ago and neither does he - people age. But you know what the person who cares about the fact that I am 3 stone heavier than I was when we met is me, the person who frets about losing his hair is DH - we are far more troubled by the aging process on ourselves than we are on each other because we love each other and understand that as the next 20 years go looks with change even more.

There is no what all men think in terms of attractiveness or women for that matter

You want to appeal to men who read tabloids with Page 3 models though. Samantha Fox was barely 16, you're 30. This isn't your demographic either.

Just like women, men are attracted to all sorts of different body types. You need therapy for body dysphoria not a boob job.

What happens when you are past the age of conventional “hotness” OP?

I understand a little where you’re coming from. Although looks shouldn’t matter, we are yet to reach a level of societal enlightenment where that’s really the case. Most people like to think they look nice, even if nice doesn’t necessarily mean ‘attractive to the opposite sex’. Most intimate romantic relationships become so (rather than friends) because of sexual attraction and so we chase that. It’s not altogether that different to the mating rituals of other species and we’re all kidding ourselves if we deny that it goes on. So I’m not going to gaslight you and pretend that you should be above wanting to be attractive to men.

However, I am going to say that if you base all your self worth on that and focus on it to the exclusion of other ways of improving your life, you will almost certainly live to regret it. IME the women who place a disproportionate value on their appearance are often those who end up getting treated more appallingly!

Whereas those who focus on building good relationships with friends and family, or who prioritise fulfilling activities (whether hobbies or a career), tend to be happier, regardless of whether they ‘get a man’.

A good man who wants a relationship rather than just sex is ‘kept’ by having his brain and emotions engaged, not just his dick. Those kinds of men aren’t fixated on the size of your breasts, I promise.

DH has known me with breasts ranging from a B to a DD and back. He’s loved all versions and frequently tells me I’m beautiful but if you asked him to describe me to you, he wouldn’t start with what I looked like at all. That’s because he sees me as a person, not a shag.

Concentrate on making yourself the best person you can be - because of who you are and what you do, not because of what you look like - and I promise you’ll be happier in the long term. Ironically, this will also make you far more attractive to the right kind of men who find confidence incredibly sexy.

Well, now you've got over 30 pages of people telling you they aren't.