Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

Op my bestie at school came to some of the (no offence but) immature, simple minded, extreme conclusions that you've come to

I suspect she had a boob job .....

I'm sure she got a bit more attention (though she got plenty before then as she was a nice looking girl) but dud it change her prospects and her success and happiness much; didn't seem like it.

It didn't stop one of her boyfriends from turning out to be gay

It didn't stop "polygynous" - as she put it - men in the African country she worked in for years as a women & children's aid worker, from being polygynous (what we'd call cheating.

She was single when we crossed paths at around 36 before she went abroad again.

It didn't magically make her life better.

It didn't make everything go her way.

Her boobs probably got gawked at a lot more, but did she actually get more or better relationship prospects as a result ....it really didn't seem so.

I’ve actually been told by Incels online how terrible small breasts are in the past…they idolise porn stars with basket ball sized breasts

They're called incels for a reason.

Why the fuck are you taking anything they say seriously?

I can't believe you'd do that to yourself because of what a pile of sad, dysfunctional, mentally ill, "failed to launch", immature, poorly adjusted, bitter "men" (who spend most of their time wanking or crying or crying while wanking) spout shite about on the internet.

Combined with essentially sex industry shite.

That's the fkg sex industry; it's not real life.

Fwiw I have a small bust - some men are boob men and therefore wouldn't fall for me .... When I look back the ones who didn't were all kinda shit anyway.

Other men were not boob men and there has been plenty of quality to choose among them.
I'm married to a tall, good looking guy in a excellent job who's not a cheater etc.

(It could be purely coincidence but the ones who didn't want me cause they were boob men. or got involved but didn't want anything serious or didn't fall for me cause they were boob men; when I think about them in retrospect; I wouldn't wish them on anyone).

they idolise porn stars with basket ball sized breasts

That's because they don't get any actual sex luv.

I really don't believe this. I still recall a boyfriend getting super excited the first time he saw me naked specifically because my boobs were smaller than his previous girlfriend's boobs and he told me that!

I wish that were still a possibilityfor me. Unfortunately, I am several cup sizes larger now due to weight gain with all the added discomfort and general awkwardness that comes with big breasts.

Honestly, stick with what you have. Don't risk surgery with all those attendant risks just to attain a look that is hyped in the media but is no more attractive in reality.

Work on your happiness and self confidence. These are the traits that will attract a loving partner who will love you just the way you are.

Johnny Depp with Vanessa Paradis for example.

Yeah and Amber Heard doesn't have a big bust either.

Nor does Winona Ryder.

Nor does Kate Moss.

I can't think of any more of his previous gf's & fiancees ATM.

But suffice to say Johnny Depp was stunning when younger and extremely successful, famous etc. and could have anyone be wanted.

Still could - though time, as for everyone, has affected his looks.

Agreed! And why would you take the opinion of an incel into account? They are bitter individuals, often hooked on porn and objectifying women. You really don't want to attract that kind of guy.

but I think overall for 95% of the younger male population (by young I mean under 40) by breasts would be a huge flaw and turn off.

You're wrong.

I used to think a bit like that, when very young.

Then I had some relationships and some fun and I had guys say "you have really nice tits". And "I remember you had perfect tits, just the right size" and I wised up.

I also saw the range of sizes around me.

I also realised that physical features don't guarantee success or happiness in relationships.

If they did, Marylin Monroe would hardly have ended up dead at 36, divorced three times, would she?

Halle Berry wouldn't be divorced 3 or 4 times having been cheated on by "sex addicts", lost most of her hearing in one ear thanks to Wesley Snipes beating her up, and be paying an irresponsible, racist male model massive alimony.

I could go on with these examples all day.

(Actually my bust is a bit smaller than my h would probably prefer, but the overall picture of physical , personality compatability etc. was more important to him than that. And equally importantly - while he's handsome, he's not my idea of perfection physically either. That's real life and real relationships).

Oh and for the record; porn actresses include women with small busts.

There is variety even in porn.

Stoya is very successful and she's almost flat chested.

She was married to one of the most successful male porn actors.

He turned out to be violent (probably drug fuelled) but that's a whole other thread.

He is good looking, he's successful, he is surrounded by fake and real big boobs day in, day out , and he chose an almost flat cheated woman as his partner. Again, men and life are not remotely as simple as you seem to think.

I would also urge you to think about a phrase I first saw on here;

"My body is an instrument, not an ornament".

Be glad if it's healthy and working correctly.

Jesus Op. These men are fucked up misogynists. They don’t ‘speak’ for all men…!!

Your thinking is massively disordered.

Really… you need to think about why incel culture is shaping how you view your body to the extent you will have surgery to eminate their idea of the body ideal. That is a a very sad state of affairs…

OP you haven't replied at all about what else you could do to help yourself feel sexier?

Latching onto the opinion of a bunch of blokes who don't get to ever have actual sex with actual women because they're deranged makes about as much sense as saying that you want to have burger & chips for dinner every night for the rest of your life because you asked a group of 3 years olds - and they said they'd want burger & chips every single night (mostly because they've never been allowed to, but also because their brains aren't developed enough to realise it would actually be a bit shit).

Stop thinking you want burger & chips every night & do some work on how good the balanced diet you already eat is - for you and for the men around you!

Yeah, out of those I only really like Jason Momoa and Hemsworth. The other men are ok but I don't particularly fancy them.

There was a study, I think, that said men agree more in their idea of what an attractive women is, and women vary more in their tastes. But obviously I can't say how true that is.

it’s just they claim to tell ‘the truth’ that other men are ´too PC to say

They don't and can't speak for all men.

Just like no woman or group of women could claim to speak for all men.

As for PC and re mens choices of partners.

In my experience many men are not very PC, and they go after what they want.

And, as i pointed out, there is no need for multi millionaires, alphas etc to settle. They don't have to. Their choice is their choice.

I once had an idiot man tell me that my h probably fancied Katie Price (back when she was more attractive looking) and when I answered "she's not his type".
Ge informed me that he was lying to me, he wouldn't tell me. All men are like that.

I found that hilarious - because my H used to piss me off very much in the early days of dating by seemingly always having a lads mag with Sophie Anderton in it on his person or bag. He was totally fixated on SA for a while, she had his ideal looks. I was also well aware if his tastes from extensive (two way) conversations over the years. and from seeing the odd Google search (Evangeline Lily).

But I had this wanker telling me I didn't know my h's tastes avd he fancied Katie Price.

The sane guy also pronounced that women didn't age well; "everything goes South" .... While being bald in his 30s.

I responded "as opposed to men who lose their hair and go paunchy" which left him a bit lost for words.

You're listening to a younger, even more idiotic version of him.

Her boobs probably got gawked at a lot more, but did she actually get more or better relationship prospects as a result ....it really didn't seem so.

@StrawberryDream24

I don't believe that breast implant/larger breasts will improve relationship prospects, or the staying power of a relationship. I merely thought it would make me sexier/more alluring for the vast majority of men. I'm not dumb enough to believe that big boobs alone mean a man wants a relationship with you.....but I did think he would find me hotter with them, and I wanted/want that.

You sound about ten years old. Get a grip.

men agree more in their idea of what an attractive women is

I don't think so.

Men have very varied tastes.

My mate's husband thinks I "haven't a pick" on me, I'm too skinny/shapeless and likes her figure (decent sized bust, extremely pear shaped).
My husband says that a pear shape completely turns him off and he loves slim athletic women. He goes dolally over Gal Gadot, Charlize Theron. Sharon Stone in her prime, Saffron Burrows, and a bond actress called Berenice Marlowe.

Anyway, the only thing nen had in common in one study is that the ideal female figure according to men was about 2 stone heavier than the ideal female figure according to women.

I thought that some of what they say (not the weird vagina PH thing, I hadn't even heard of that) was reflective of what most heterosexual men really think/want, but won't say because they don't want to appear lewd, or don't want to upset women they know/date etc.

@StrawberryDream24 I had to google Sophie Anderton because I'd never heard of her....

Men will shag pretty much anyone.

If it's only a shag, it doesn't matter.

If it's relationships, some like small busted figures (which are usually slim), some don't. They will "self select" ....the ones who like your type of figure will chase you/give you opportunities/want a relationship.

I dated a very filterless guy who told me that he was an "ass man" and not really interested in boobs much ("they're nice, like, but I'm an ass man") and that, in being accosted by a woman in a bar with a very prominent cleavage who appeared to think he'd be struck with lust & attraction; that all he could think was "that's wasted one luv ".

We're in our 40s

Waaaay before your time probably.

She was a model who did a bit of lingerie modelling and lads mags, and dated a footballer.

If my h had ever got a chance to meet her, I think I'd have been dumped.

thought that some of what they say (not the weird vagina PH thing, I hadn't even heard of that) was reflective of what most heterosexual men

No, they are not well adjusted, normal or representative.

@StrawberryDream24 My mate's husband thinks I "haven't a pick" on me, I'm too skinny/shapeless and likes her figure (decent sized bust, extremely pear shaped).
My husband says that a pear shape completely turns him off and he loves slim athletic women.

If your mate is pear shaped with big boobs she's hourglass technically, not that it matters. :) It's interesting though, I've heard of other anecdotes similar to yours.

This is the study I was referring to:
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090626153511.htm#:~:text=Men's%20judgments%20of%20women's%20attractiveness,looked%20confident%20as%20more%20attractive.

Now obviously, any of one of these psychology studies isn't an absolute truth, representative of everyone everywhere....but they do get quoted in the press.

*Just like no woman or group of women could claim to speak for all men.

Sorry that was supposed to say "all women", not all men.

your mate is pear shaped with big boobs she's hourglass technically

She has reasonably big boobs but is very very pear shaped, so still a pear shape.