Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

Found your comment.

I know lots of women from that list have small or smallish breasts, and I'm not denying that I think they're beautiful, and lots of men also share that.

But I still can't shake the idea that lots of men would prefer someone like Sophie Turner or Keira if they had larger breasts.

The problem is that, if you are aiming to appeal to the sort of men who want a 10/10 girl, @ThisChic, they are, I believe, much less likely to be the sort of men who look for more than just looks in a woman. They are less likely to appreciate intelligence, character, sense of humour, wit, because their standards are so shallow.

The chances of meeting a man who is happy with my breast size is very low, and I'd rather a man not just be fantasising about someone else (ie a woman with large breasts) all the time.

This is all in your head. You are wrong that the vast majority of men wouldn't be happy with your body, and you are wrong that a man who chose to be with you would secretly be fantasising about a woman with a different body all the time. Its actually really concerning if you actually think that is true. Get therapy.

Not really anymore? Only knuckle draggers with no personality.
So the type you are aiming for I guess.

No. Not all men who like big breasts fit that stereotype.

I do accept this. I also think that all men want the most beautiful partner they can get provided she is also a nice person.

A man wouldn't say no to a woman for being 'too beautiful' if she was also a great person he got a long with.

If you mean the men who chase specifically the overly made up look, all the make up and fakery etc, then I do see your point. But those men will be disappointed when they realise their TikTok "10" does not really look like their Facetune and Bodytune handiwork 😂

Lots of men think people like Eva Green, Alexandra Daddario, Sydney Sweeney, are 'perfect' because of their lollipop body type, boobs plus thin. Those are all natural looking women.

I know I'm obsessed with breast size and I know people on here say it's unhealthy. I can't deny it though....

I don't really know how else to say that you're completely off-base with this. Plain wrong.

There's a consensus about what "conventionally attractive" means, but this is more to do with marketing and social trends. The '90s were the era of "does my bum look big in this" and now a big ass is in fashion. But they weren't reflective of any individual man's preferences!

I don't know how much experience you've actually had with men. Take it from a woman who's had quite a lot: there is no consensus. They like different things. They like to do different things. There's no point trying to mould yourself into something you're not just to please a non-existent male stereotype.

That is fair enough, but what is it you want from this thread exactly then? You’re free to want that and try to achieve it. Lots of people don’t agree but you don’t seem to want to accept that. You say you want men’s opinions but there are very few men on here. Giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are not just trying to be argumentative or using a mask in order to say denigrating things about women with impunity, or just getting off on talking about breasts, what is the point?

Most of them though, - I don’t know any intelligent men with a good personality who want women with ‘big boobs’. It’s not the 90’s anymore and they look tacksville.

That said, you don’t seem to have much of a personality yourself beyond wanting big tits and turkey teeth, so I guess a total meat head would work out well.

You are fixated on this idea that all men prefer large breasts and it's absolutely not true. By all means get a breast enhancement if you think it will make you happier and feel better, but do it for you. Don't get sucked into thinking you will automatically be more desirable because you have big boobs. In my experience, most men I know are more attracted to a pretty face, nice smile etc, the body type matters less.

Op, in the kindest possible way, I think you have a mental health issues.

I really don't mean any offence by that.

OP, why do you think how you look is so much more important than who you are? If a person (man or woman) finds you interesting, good to talk to etc, why isn't that enough?
And change who you follow on social media - I have never seen any of the type of women you mention! Get some hobbies and interests (culture, sport, history,crafts etc etc) and your feed will be 1,000 times better.

I would also point you to the world's highest status men (though for debatable reasons in many cases).

Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, the late Mr. Koch, Roman Ibramovich, (these are among the richest men in the world), Royal Princes, James Rothschild, Stavros Niarchos etc etc.

They had their pick of women; check out who they picked.

You are focusing on SM models ...... It's like focusing on page 3 models. They're lucky if they pull a middle range man.

You need to elevate your awareness level.

Have you been assessed for ASD, op?

You need some mental health support. Do you have any female friends?

Sexiness has very little to do with what you look like at all, let alone the size of your breasts.

I think you should get some therapy and work out why you're so attached to this faulty belief.

@ThisChic it is an unhealthy and unhelpful obsession and crucially you are focussing on women with naturally bigger boobs not fake implants. So the chances are you have them and then get fixated on the fact that now you don’t look natural and men prefer 10/10 to be naturally bigger boobs.

You have to fix the why of this, why it bothers you why you need to be seen as attractive by all men and not just one and why you don’t believe it when a man finds you attractive.

I would bet on the fact that some point a man has made a comment about them that has caused you to fixate and spiral.

a boob job isn’t the answer - therapy is

I also think that all men want the most beautiful partner they can get

Not in my experience, at all.

Attractive is enough for many of them.

Quite a few of them are intimidated by very beautiful women.

They don't want to feel like the "lesser" one in their relationship. They don't want to feel insecure.

Attractive/pretty is more than enough for many of them ...they want a stable, caring, no hassle woman who'll be a good mother.

They want to feel secure.

Many very beautiful women actually have a really hard time getting opportunities with decent men.
I actually found they ended up with assholes and abusers .... Who were also overconfident enough and shallow enough to come on to them (when many other men shied away and went for more ordinarily pretty/attractive women).

@ThisChic - I was a size 22 when I married dh. He had been out with slimmer, more attractive women than me (including a chic Parisienne), but he fell in love with me, and still loves - and lusts after - me, even though I am now much bigger and disabled.

Maybe I was lucky to find a decent man who sees beyond skin deep, and doesn’t have the shallow tastes of the men you want - but maybe there are far more men like dh out there, and if I were you, I’d far rather have a decent man, with a good character who loves all of me than one who just wants an insta-ready doll.

Someone that shallow is not going to stay with you if your looks fade, or you get old (which is unavoidable). They won’t be faithful - they will move onto the next insta-model, and leave you behind without a second thought.

@ThisChic when you look at heterosexual couples and notice the woman has smaller bust do you think that of those men have "settled"?

I think you would really benefit from some therapy much more than a boob job.

P.s I am quite sure that you have also posted on the sex topic under @em2001ily and got a good range of answers there.

You sound like a female equivalent of an incel, to be honest.

Yabu for thinking how many tiktok followers someone has is in any way connected to how beautiful or popular or happy or successful they are.

Real beauty is very varied. Fake tan, fake boobs, fake lashes, bleached hair and teeth with plumped up lips just make every girl look the same.

What matters physically is that you feel fit, strong, healthy, energetic, confident and attractive to your partner or potential partner.

But a lit of other things matter just as much, such as your sense of purpose and connection in the world, your contribution, use of your natural skills, talents and intellect, your resilience and financial and emotional independence.

So just to be clear, do you really believe what you said - that “women only attract sleazy men if they choose to present themselves in a sleazy way”? It’s a simple yes or no…

Look we keep saying big boobs aren't all that. You list a few famous people with big boobs but I can list even more beautiful, desirable women with small breasts. I remember when most men had a huge crush on Anna Friel, then Kiera Knightley. They both have small breasts.
I do think you're oversimplifying male sexuality. To reduce it to "Men like big boobs" is way too reductive. It's the whole package plus other factors like the way someone talks, the way they walk, their voice, their laugh, their aura, the twinkle in their eye. Not to mention things like face symmetry.
Yes men love boobs but from my observations they like any boobs. Small ones, big ones, usually medium ones. I only have two friends with very big breasts and neither of them have had much luck with men. One has given up on men at the age of 45 and devotes herself to her dog (I don't blame her). Both she and my other friends with big breasts said they make them feel rather matronly.
You also say your b cup breasts look smaller because you have a 28/30 inch band. This is nonsense. The opposite is true! The smaller the band, the bigger the breasts look. When you're a larger person with a big rib cage, a b cup will look smaller (I say this from experience).
But it doesn't matter what we say you will only believe that big breasts make someone sexy. Many of us are (much) older than you and have observed men for decades. We know what we're talking about.
Anyway, you said you just want to feel sexy and desirable. Can I ask why you don't already? Is the only reason because you have small breasts or is there more to it?

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

Other than hygiene (few people would consider someone who doesn't wash), the things that you list are attractive to one type of man (footballers, or the sort you see on reality TV), but that doesn't mean all men. Not by a long stretch. Certainly among the men in my social circle, things which are very obviously artificial (unnaturally whitened teeth, fake tan, thick false eyelashes, lip fillers etc.) are sniggered at, rather than being considered attractive. Naturally large breast might be considered desirable by many, but that doesn't mean that a surgeon's knife will put you in that group, the mutterings would be "there's no way those are real".

What is attractive to many is confidence. Someone who is outwardly happy, relaxed and at-ease in their own skin is attractive. Maybe one man might prefer blue eyes and another brown, but there will be a potential partner for you somewhere. Find someone who loves you for who you are, not something from Photoshop. Those who are interested in anything more than sex (again, see "footballers") will want something to talk about too, so look for someone with common interests, join social groups etc.

In fact, proactively "looking" might not be helpful. We assume that we have a clearly defined "type" and it's so easy when swiping through dating apps to discard a pile of potential matches who you might have been happy with but their photos weren't exactly what you thought you wanted. Whereas if you got chatting to someone at the pub/on a train/in a queue at the supermarket you might find a connection with someone - such that them being 5'10" instead of the 6' many womens' profiles demand as a minimum* doesn't actually matter as much as you thought it did.

*Substitute your own list of superficial non-negotiables that might not be as important as you think they are

I think this is the crux of your post really!

It's that you want people to find you sexy...not unreasonable!!! It's nice to feel wanted, it's desirable to be desired! If you'd done a post about 'how can I come across as more sexy?' you'd have got a really broad cross-section of replies, and this is what you should be focussing on @ThisChic

Sexy comes from within, not how you look on the outside. Confident is sexy, and THAT is what you're missing out on, and some bolt-on boobs won't fix it either.

That's why so many women, with such broad range of experience are recommending therapy not surgery.

Sexy comes from being happy in your own company, relaxed about the cards you've been dealt physically, outgoing enough to talk to a wide range of people & enjoy their company - whether or not you find them lustful or vice-versa.

Sexy women range from stick thin to turbo-voluptuous. From board flat to a foot of cleavage. From 4'10 to 6'4. Sexy smiles & laughs and has confidence in being ENOUGH. Just as they are.

If you can work on THAT, it would make a night & day difference to your experience with men. I suspect you come across as insecure, possibly needy, and desperate for male validation - that's not wildly attractive to the vast majority of men. I'm not going to pluck a statistic out of thin air like you did with your "95% of men prefer big boobs". I mean, it might be 40%, it might be 60%, maybe in some parts of the country where the insta-fake look has become totally prevalent, it might be as high as 80%. But that still leaves a LOT of blokes who aren't even interested in enormous tits.

But every single one of whatever >5% number of men who aren't fixated on huge boobs WOULD be partial to a smaller framed lady who oozed "god I love myself in my body & I'm happy with or without you, but if we did end up in a relationship together, I would love to share everything I love about my body with you too"!

Work on that and you're on a winner! (even if you do ultimately get surgery as well, you'll be sexier if you believe in yourself first). Also, look at Pepper bras - they are cut for smaller boobs, so might help you feel happier with what you've already got so you can get practicing on body positivity, learning to love yourself, and oozing sexy every step you take...

www.wearpepper.com/products/signature-all-you-bra-sand