Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

I wish I'd just used the word 'stunning' or 'perfect' or even 'hot/attractive' instead of 10/10 now, because that's all it really means to those men who use it.

@TheIceBear A small C cup isn't a decent size, not flat. Although my band size B, it's a small band size so people would think I look like a full A/tiny B at very most.

Someone accused me of wanting to dress provocatively for male attention, specifically from crude males.

I've said in one of my earlier posts that I any woman can wear whatever she wants, however supposedly 'provocative' that may be. I'm not the one who has a problem with women wearing revealing clothing. Revealing clothes don't mean she deserves harassment.

The post was about me being accused of wanting leering men's attention, and I was refuting that by saying I won't even be wearing revealing clothes, which those leering men do (wrongly) think are an invitation to comment.

Thanks, I see what you mean. I haven't phrased some of my posts on here in the best way either. Lots of people have misinterpreted what I wanted to get across.

@Muckybib I don't want the Essex look, just larger breasts really. That doesn't mean I have to do drag queen make up 😅 (I do enjoy drag acts though, no shade to them).

I'm old enough to be of the generation who campaigned for " Beauty " competitions to be abolished- invading and disrupting the Miss World cattle market. Who fought against women's " vital statistics " being routinely used in descriptions of women to rate their attractiveness.

And yet 50 years on you are actually still buying into the idea that men have some sort of right to pass judgement on women's looks and appearance???

It beggars belief

I think most people are vain, while relatively young, even unto middle age, to an extent, and those who say they aren't are lying. I say most here, not all. What's the famous Oscar Wilde quote? 'Everyone is vain and those who deny it are the vainest of all.'

Nothing wrong with taking care of ourselves. It's only a problem if vanity is all, and it isn't for anyone really.

Same here.

@Dawnchorussinging I don't think it's a 'right' of anyone, male or female. I think it's undeniable, however, that as human beings we notice attractiveness or lack thereof in the opposite sex. It doesn't mean we comment on it to the person , but people do look at others and form an opinion on their looks whether they admit it or like it.

There's a psychology study that showed it takes us 3 seconds to work out whether we fancy someone or not. That's obviously excluding the people who grow to like someone over time, which does happen.

95% is obviously not any kind of official statistic, it's just another way of saying 'the vast majority'.

I don't think that every man has the exact same taste, just that there is a degree of consensus, and a certain body type seems to be part of that.

There are so many ways to be beautiful. Look at Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj next to each other in the song they did together. Two very different bodies, both very confident with themselves.

As a woman, I like imperfect men with quirks. I don’t want a cookie cutter muscle man with turkey teeth and the same haircut as every other bloke who puts up selfies. Many men feel the same about women.

@Hortus Thanks for your post.

I have listened and posted replies back to people on here; it's not fundamental disagreement on lots of things, but more that (i) I misled people (posters thought that I think women are just flesh, of course I don't think that, and that I wanted to be objectified by incels....again, of course no).

I agree I'm obsessed with my breast size. I know this is by the by, but B on a small band (28B, 30B) just look like a full A cup.

I know that women are not walking pairs of breasts, of course. I just feel that, for most men, large breasts are highly highly preferable for physical beauty. But I understand why you think my preoccupation with this is a problem.

I don't think that all my value is in my appearance, but I just want to look good anyway.

Of course people notice attractiveness and looks.
But you keep talking about the male view of women as though it's their view that matters.
Women shouldn't be defined by what men think of their bodies and looks.
Why on earth are you so subservient to men's opinions?

I'll scroll through, find it and reply later!

I don't think I am subservient to men.

I do think that mens opinions of women's attractiveness are the most important as a straight woman who wants men to find her sexy/appealing etc. And please don't read objectified by that because it isn't what I mean. Some women want to be found desirable by their boyfriends/husbands etc.

I didn't say that women are defined by men's views in their looks either, but just that some women want to look for men.

I'm also not saying that a woman should do something she doesn't want purely to please one or multiple men. But that isn't my case....

I know that women are not walking pairs of breasts, of course. I just feel that, for most men, large breasts are highly highly preferable for physical beauty. But I understand why you think my preoccupation with this is a problem.

Do you have a source for your stats her please @ThisChic ?

Or are you basing this off the comments you see on (not real life) social media posts from creepy men?

@Dawnchorussinging I should've added that beauty pageants are icky. There is still Miss UK though, and Miss Universe, I think.....

They will indeed fuck anything - google 'orangutan imprisoned raped' and take on board that being someone that men want to fuck is really not much of an achievement.

@ThisChic please please get some therapy because I think that you have fixated on this being the reason you don’t feel the way you should or men don’t notice you and I don’t think it will solve your problem

@Another2356 I just want to look beautiful (we don't have to call it 10/10) with no major flaws because I want to look attractive for my own view of myself, but also to the men I end up dating.

I don't want multiple one night stands, although I don't think there's anything wrong with that if both people are single.

No, it isn't implants specifically that lots of men like, just the larger breasts. They prefer natural big breasts usually, but implants that look good most are also happy with. Not the rock hard, bolted on round ones. Good surgeons wouldn't do those nowadays.

You don't have 'major flaws', you have proportional sized breasts for your body.

Implants will look fake, stop kidding yourself you will get implants which look real on your frame and don't just attract bottom feeder men who only look at a woman's chest and have no interest in or don't even see her as a person.

You have fixated on your normal body as the reason you haven't got what you want, and it's not true. Get some therapy because this is no way to live.

@nutbrownhare15 5% (which is obviously just a figure of speech, I meant tiny minority) is a small tiny group of men. The chances of meeting a man who is happy with my breast size is very low, and I'd rather a man not just be fantasising about someone else (ie a woman with large breasts) all the time. I'd rather just not sleep with him than that.

Obviously I don't want to be with someone who only sees women as lumps of flesh, but I think most men don't. They like and prefer someone who they find sexy/whose body turns them on, but most men (and lots of men are decent) don't believe that women's value as a person lies in their flesh.

Perfectly normal sized breasts are not "major flaws".

This is an example of how the fakeness of social media is causing/contributing to body dysmorphia.

I've got E cup breasts and I've been with men who quite frankly weren't that interested in them when we were intimate. So it must have been my personality and other physical attributes that appealed to them. Not all men are that into breasts, large or otherwise.