Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

Glowy fake tan, hair extensions, false nails all sound extremely artificial to me and 'big boobs' are a matter of taste. Slender is nice, and healthy.

In my experience men go for natural looking women, not those who do themselves up like drag artists.

I have terrible legs. Always did. DH married me for my brains and personality, many years ago.

I know you probably didn't mean this to be, but this is really judgmental....some women naturally have big boobs...are they not "nice and healthy"?

The OP is an incel pretending to be a young woman.

Depends on your definition of attractive.
there’s plenty of models and attractive women who have no fake boobs, do not wear fake tan and look great.

Even the word ‘flaws’ says a lot. They are not your flaws, they are your features. My husband is totally bald through alopecia and I adore him that way. I don’t think I would respect him in the same way if he tried to have a hair transplant. My point is - most of us love/fancy our partners because they are themselves, not trying to be a Barbie or a Ken.

What are you looking for op? Because If its hot men to sleep with, I can assure you their standards are not that high.

I'm very innocent when it comes to social media, but I went off the rails in my early 40s.

A friend had recently faced trauma and she, who is a bit different to me, convinced me we should go on Tinder. She was having a great time going on dates and having loads of sex and I asked how she was doing it.

She just had some moody sexy profile pics (not revealling but just not sweet looking) and was sending outrageously sexy flirty flattering messages to hot men in their late 20s. I switched up my pics and started doing that and almost overnight the messages changed.

I was totally confused because I was LITERALLY the same person as I was yesterday. It actually didn't feel as good as I thought- it was kind of a world I didn't want to know as yes that's how shallow it is. Obviously I did have some fun for a bit.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being young and just wanting to sleep around, or having a phase, but psychologically I also think it has to have a time limit. Men you are just sleeping around with to get validation won't turn into a committed relationship.

If you do it, own it. But be intelligent about it.

But please don't think you need to change your body because honestly men who want sex really don't care that much especially if you are flirty and funny.

And if they do care that much then they are taking it WAY too seriously and should be avoided, unless it's amazing sex. Even then you need to steer well clear of any negative comments.

As PP said you need to not give a shit what anyone else thinks. The only person who gets to decide what thoughts take residence in your head...is you.

WTF is a beta simp? 😅

Your assumption that we all "strive to look our best" is way off. I scrub up very well when I want to or need to, however I like who I am, so I don't feel better about myself as a person if I'm looking fancy. I just recognise that there are certain occasions where it is socially required. Nipping to Sainsbury's or taking DC to school are not on that list. When I wfh, my work calls are voice-only, so I'm in a slouchy jumper and no makeup. My husband doesn't care how I look, so long as Im healthy and happy, and I feel the same about him.
I guess it depends what circles you mix in. Most men I have as friends don't actually like the fake-tan, fake boobs, huge lips, overly-white-teeth, lots of makeup look. They think it's unnecessary and a bit common; but I know some men do really like that sort of thing. Everyone is different.
I believe it's completely down to the individual to be the way that makes them genuinely happy, and eventually most of us find someone who likes whatever that is, who we like in return, and it sorts itself out.

Yes, it is more recent, and belongs to the Andrew Tate / incel brand of toxic masculinity that views women as subhuman - basically meat with fuckholes, to be commodified, used and silenced. And that it’s the right of every knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing sock-wanker to have a big-titted 10/10 of his own.

But if you’re happy to slot into their worldview for clicks and fucks because you think it’ll make you feel great, knock yourself out.

You didn’t read what I actually said. At no point did I say ANY woman was less beautiful. I referenced an axis of being seen as conventionally attractive vs being less so. If you didn’t pick up my disdain of conventional beauty standards dripping from my last post then let me make myself more clear.

EVERY woman I’ve dated have had the power to make me weak at the knees with their beauty. Real beauty is a multi-variate equation, and I promise you it’s nowhere near as simple as being able to take a good static photo. There is how a woman carries herself, how she moves, how she sounds.

Now the reason I’m taking time out of my day to argue the toss with you here is because you may already be the ideal for a great many men out there just as you are. Our tastes aren’t as uniform as you think they are. A lot of women who may hit close to the 10/10 bullseye you are aiming at could also be defined as fairly “generic”, beauties too. With little that actually distinguish one from the other. It actually ends up a little boring truth be told…

No because he asked why they did dress like that AND I didn't have an answer because personally I don't know why either.

😂it's funny, isn't it, when men (some men!) ask us to answer for all womanhood!
I've never worn high heels in my life, never have, never will.

Other than the men will shag anything view you need to remember that men come in all varieties. Some like tall girls, some like short, some like skinny some like ample, some like big boobs some prefer small. I'm probably below average height with small boots (almost non existent), my husband still thinks I'm beautiful (and I'm not asvyoung as I was)

You’ve described someone who looks cheap not beautiful.

Well personally I don't follow insta models and I've no interest in the type of shallow (and likely porn obsessed) men who rate women out of 10. That's absolutely grim.

I've never had any cosmetic surgery, hair extensions, spray tan lashes... I do make an effort to wear nice clothes, I get my hair and nails done, I eat fairly well, drink lots of water, sleep well, etc. I think I scrub up ok, I'm no great beauty but it's not something I can bring myself to care about. I have a lovely husband, lovely kids, a nice home, good friends (male and female) and a happy life.

Of the women I know who really invest a great deal of time, money and effort into their looks:

One is genuinely the most naturally beautiful woman I've ever seen. But her self esteem is rock bottom. She's obsessed with looking perfect and her home looking perfect. She's forever redecorating, cleaning or at the gym or beauty salon because all she sees is flaws (that are invisible to everyone else)

One is fixated on certain features she hates (which are absolutely fine) and constantly posting gym selfies for validation. She would love a settled relationship but it's never happened for her.

One has an eating disorder and an emotionally abusive husband.

All 3 suffer with depression.

I think it's your self esteem you need to focus on rather than your looks. I'd far rather spend my time enjoying my life than worrying about being beautiful.

People always criticise others for caring about their looks

No, they don't.

but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

No, we don't.

Women are not one homogenous mind.

Your target audience is men who rate women on TikTok?? 😂😂😂

This 💯

They're happy and say, 'wow, 10/10, amazing' etc etc on Tiktok/Instagram if the woman is slim and has big boobs, and often also covered in make up/filtered etc etc, but it's mainly just the slim with boobs...

So tiktok should not really be a baseline. women can also look at fit young men on social media and appreciate the aesthetics but know that is all it will be. the men saying these things are not dong anything to make themselves look better. Men can be pretty basic when it comes to looks and will say anything. Jordan/Katie price is a classic example of just butchering her body to please men and look where that has got her!

By all means keep yourself fit, healthy. Get a decent haircut, look after your teeth and invest in personal style. Make the best of what you have but no need to invest in Brazilian bum lifts etc - they are just a passing phase.

When you make purely physical changes to yourself and then suddenly become more attractive to men, you find yourself less attracted to them. It highlights how spectacularly shallow they are when men who wouldn’t have looked twice at you before are suddenly wanting to stick it in you. Speaking from experience

This is one of the most depressing threads I’ve read on here, and that takes some doing.

At 30 @ThisChic if all you care about is being sexy to men, you need to understand the vast majority of the ones shallow enough to think boobs are all that matter, already think you are old and used up.

If your whole purpose in life is to fit the male gaze and be validated by it, you’re too late, that gaze no longer sees you.

If there’s really nothing else that will give you confidence and contentment in life except bigger boobs so ‘men’ as an amorphous mass find you sexy, you are never going to feel validated.

Take a long hard look at Katie Price. That’s what happens to women who need to be validated by the male gaze instead of finding self confidence and self worth.

Are you hoping to marry a footballer Op.

The look you are describing I don't see as attractive ar all - just plastic and fake.

Indeed fake tax, extensions, trout pout lips may be for some men but I suspect the majority don't find it attractive at all (if it is the men you want to impress - and then how sad that is).

So are you wanting pictures of you with your new boobs to have 10/10 comments too? is that your expected outcome?

or do you want men in real life to see you and think 10/10 with your new boobs?

You need a whole lot more than a knock out body in real life to get a 10/10… you do know that?

Whatever a 10/10 is…….

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

The women who pop up on my social media would not be described like this.