Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

I have small/tiny boobs and I bloody love them! Does that make me less than a 10/10? I also have pale skin, tatty hair and not-pumped up lips but I like the way I look, mostly.

The only people I’ve ever come across online who forensically scrutinise and score the appearance of women in the way this OP has are male incels.

I’ve got small boobs, a tummy as I’ve had 3 children, but I still feel pretty if I dress for my current figure !
I’ve found as I’ve got older that less IS more when it comes to make up.
One thing I do have as I was very self conscious is hair extensions. My hair is fine and thinned a lot post partum, never grows past a certain length. So they make me feel good about myself. And you know what I noticed, lots of people look at someone with long blonde hair. So I think hair does matter to some clearly

I’ve never seen a woman in real life with that aesthetic that actually looks good. It looks fake and terrible. You can add big bushy eye lashes to that look overly shaped brows all look icky. My dh thankfully isn’t so shallow

Honestly when you have real problems you won't even think about this kind of stuff. I can't even remember the last time I looked in a mirror.

I guarantee you that you these men that you strive to impress will use your modifications as a weapon against you sooner or later, once they’ve got what they want out of you. Fake “beauty” might open some doors but it is not the basis for a long lasting and meaningful relationship with a worthwhile partner.

And I’m sure you have heard of the phrase, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, right?

Yea the glow up doesn’t sound a glow up to me. That fake look is odd and unreal.

Your dad is right and trying to tell you something important. Men he knew when he was young would have been ashamed to score women out of 10 like you’re obsessed with. And any man worth having still sees that’s a pile of stinking misogynistic wank.

But most women don’t care about having lots of men lusting after them - they care about just having the one special, decent, reliable one who also loves them beyond their physical attributes. You sound very young and insecure.

The reason people think you're a troll is because it's very hard to believe any woman has made it to the age of 30 without realising that men are individuals with different tastes. You seem stuck on the idea that all men are attracted to one very specific type of female body (which happens to align with the look that's currently sold to us as fashionable).

Some men like big tits, some men like small tits, some like big arses, some like small arses, some like gym hardbodies, some like softer curves and everything in between. There is absolutely no need to surgically alter yourself in order for a man to find your body attractive. Craving the specific look you're after isn't about male attention, it's about social clout.

I do get wanting to be attractive! I was not an attractive teenager (speccy nerd with unruly hair, plus being mixed-race surrounded by conventionally pretty white girls) and discovering my sexuality in my 20s was an incredible journey (and it wasn't impeded in the slightest by my small tits). But I never got it twisted, I never once thought it was any sort of ultimate validation - in fact the point is less to seek other people's validation and more to lean into who you really are.

I don't think a lot of people find what you have described attractive - this cardboard cut out esthetic of beauty with fake tan, overly white teeth and big boobs.

I often think people who look like this are choosing a facade, rather than looking like 'themselves'. It's masking yourself, rather than embracing your unique beauty.

Also think about the 'type of man' this look attracts. It's not usually the good ones.

Decent men aren’t scrolling for or following women on social media. They’re just not, OP. You’re in a really sad trap of self reflection and it’s really heartbreaking. I don’t think you’re really engaging with anything on this thread, you’re just projecting the misogynistic facade you’ve been fed for obviously way too long.

Only some proper life experience or therapy can burst that bubble. Good luck to you.

I typed several comments up and deleted them all. I don’t know how to say how grim I find your aspirations OP. I know it is not limited to yourself but lots of impressionable people. Women who think they have to look a certain way and men who believe this image is the only way a woman is worth anything. It’s an illusion and damaging to you and to a depth you may not understand yet.

I’ll keep my DD away from that as much as I can. I want her to be influenced only by women who use their bodies only to be amazing sportswomen or using their minds to be amazing academics or talent to be a success in their chosen field. Not another lemming with duck lips and big boobs.

I agree. This post has depressed me somewhat. I hope if I ever have a girl she never thinks or feels this way. Women are worth so much more.

Assuming this post is genuine, you have bigger problems than self image to worry about

This is a really creepy thread. Why do you want to be attractive to people who rate you out of ten? Who follow wiggling half naked heavily filtered teenagers on Tik Tok?? I can, hand on heart, say I have NO desire to appeal to these men and I don’t understand why you do. They need to change, not me.

The reason you think that is because your algorithm is showing you images of the same content. My feed isn't like that at all.

Regards to hair a great blowdry always looks good. You can whiten your teeth with trays. If you have wonky teeth there's an orthodontist which is best for achieving naturally straight teeth.

Boobs - how old are you? My boobs carried on growing until I was late 20s. I'm really happy with them now - more than a handful is a waste. Also, get a decent bra fitting and invest in good lingerie. I went from 34 C to 30DD/E with a busty cleavage by wearing the right bra.

Finally go to the gym and lift weights, that just tightens everything.

I've been complimented on how natural not fake I am. 10/10. Amazing bone structure etc.

I'm average really.

This is a complete wind up. Someone purporting to want big boobs and the like in order to appeal to a questionable male gaze, doesn't hang out on Mumsnet - and definitely doesn't canvas the AIBU collective. 😂

As someone who's just turned 50, I can say that these types of sexually attractive looks are very short lived. You'll spend most of your life looking old (although older people can still be attractive too, of course. It's just a different type of attractiveness).
My DH liked me, based on who I was. I have small breasts and a big bum. I definitely never had a sexy look. I wouldn't want to be with a man who chose me because I had big tits. Work on developing your mind and personality.

Interesting. I'm also intrigued by the number of times the OP uses the word "boobs" . 🙄

I have a friend who went to see someone for lipfillers. They actually refused to do them as she has perfect lips! It was just the content she had been seeing online. She is in her 40s.

I agree that you do what you want FOR YOU but if its based on wanting to achieve a current look, be careful.

In the 90s we ALL plucked or eyebrows to Death and they never grow back as that was the trend. Then it stopped being the trend and we all regret it now.

They can’t spell breasts or tits perhaps?

I was once asked by a guy I worked with why women thought wearing high heel shoes they can't walk properly in and plastering themselves in an inch of makeup etc made them attractive to men. He said don't they realise we prefer the natural look. As someone myself who has always been a bit of a Tom boy never interested in makeup or nails and would spontaneously combust if you tried to get me in a dress or skirt I couldn't give him an answer.

😂😂

Didn't you just say "many of us never wear high heels or makeup, just as not all men wear combat trousers and footie shirts"?