Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

@Moopsie I think many of us just rather hoped we’d moved beyond that to a place where women had a more equitable standing based on personality and intellect. We’ve fought hard enough for it.

I think it has happened to an extent? It is possible to be valued for intellect and personality, and still want to be beautiful at the same time though.

Anyone who rates other people out of 10 is instantly unattractive. Stop buying into this crap.

I'm sure there have been lots of men who have been crazy about your cleavage though?

It’s absolutely valid to want to feel desirable and confident in your body—everyone deserves that. But it’s important to unpack why we think certain body types are more “desirable” than others. The idea that slim women with large breasts and lip fillers are the gold standard of attractiveness isn’t some universal truth—it’s a narrow, over-marketed fantasy shaped by the male-gaze and cultural conditioning. (And now, influencers.)
And it’s not your job to mould yourself into that image. You’re not less worthy because your body doesn’t fit that mould. And chasing that ideal doesn’t necessarily bring happiness—it often just keeps women locked in a cycle of self-scrutiny. You can care about how you look without buying into a framework that treats women like collections of “parts” designed for male approval.

I also might pose a challenge to this thought to ask, what constitutes a 10/10 man and what kind of woman would you consider ‘deserving’ of him?

What standards are men held to? Do all men deserve a 10/10 woman?

I don't know who you're talking about, I don't have a DS!

@ThisChic Do what makes you happy, but also remember that your Dad presumably didn’t stop loving your Mum when she was perhaps no longer a 10/10. Relationships are deeper and more complex than that.

@User789956 But you are agreeing that the "bombshell" body (which is just thin + large boobs, they all pretend to be hourglass with editing when they're not) is what makes a woman "10/10"?

I also don't see a problem with a woman wanting to make herself as attractive as she can, if she wants to.

I don't see a problem with wanting to look like a 'bombshell' if it's possible.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best and 'looksmax' so to speak just as long as there is still room for other stuff in your life and your whole persona is not based on this. I personally love hair nails spray tans, mani, makeup and perfume and have high standards for my personal appearance. It makes me feel better on days when I feel rubbish mentally.

Yes, it's not about love or relationship though with this, it's just about looking attractive just for the sake of it, because I want to.

It's American isn't it?

I mean the rating out of 10 thing seems far more prevalent now than in the 80s/90s. My dad, who was in his 20s throughout the 1980s, says he never heard any men rating out of 10 and breaking women down into individual features to 'rate' back then!

Hi OP, I'm 53 and have spent my whole life trying to be and look my best. I'm at the worst I have ever looked compared to my younger self, but I have (in the past year) had some 20 something year old try to hit on me even though he had a 20 something year old gf with a baby.
They don't give a shit.

Please take the advice of pp and definitely look up What were you wearing exhibition - it will change your life.

Oh, OP.

You silly sausage.

The 10/10 idea absolutely has existed probably for centuries. Since the tudor times there has been evidence of women especially being expected to follow fashion trends and beauty standards. What hasn't existed is the capacity to be able to scroll tiktoks constantly meaning that these standards are aggressively pushed on you. Tbh your thread proves why I'm really worried for my daughter growing up with social media. You need to get off your phone OP and go and enjoy the real world. You might realise that being a '10/10' doesn't guarantee you a happy relationship and that plenty of people that you and your tiktoks might deem much less attractive are in happy, healthy relationships and have happy, fulfilled lives.

This is so sad.

Just because men find the women hot it doesn’t necessarily mean they want to have a relationship with them. They may just want her to have sex. Nothing more. So a beautiful sex object. Another notch in the bed post.

My soon to be 17 yo dd is rather attractive and goes for that look but is not interested in having surgery to obtain large breasts. It doesn’t even register with her age group tbh. She looks older and gets a lot of men looking at her profile picture on tiktok. Her accounts are all set to private. She’s had very dirty messages sent to her from some man in the past and she doesn’t relish the attention.

Recently she was used by a guy - picked up and 5 mins later dropped by a lad trying to make his long term on / off girlfriend jealous. Why? Because he saw her as a prestigious object to upset the girl. Didn’t think about my dd’s feelings in all that. Luckily she was wary and didn’t invest that much energy in him so they only met up once.

Most boys her age are just up for sex. And some men never grow out of it!

My point is, being the gold standard beautiful doesn’t necessarily mean men will want to be with you long term. I do not think breast enhancements will bring you happiness if it is for the male gaze only. Do it for you by all means but not with any expectations. I’m so pleased now that I never went down that route despite wanting to in my mid / late teens.

No it's not a wind up. And no looking to sleep around - although there is nothing morally wrong with that, as long as both parties are single of course.

I just want to improve how I look, and I want to be found sexy by the men I do end up dating.

Are you a man?

I said big boobs, not fake ones, although because I was born with small ones, unfortunately, which I don't like, they stop me from looking sexy and I want to look sexy....So I want to get (quality) breast implants.

What is it you want out of life exactly?

To be happy with what you seen in the mirror? A thousand men you don't even know (and likely a majority of them already partnered or who just want to bring some porn fantasy to life) fawning over you? A guy who loves you and is attracted to you?

I can't get my head around the idea of spending so much head space (and money) trying to please a thousand strangers.

@Theworldisinyourhands

You need to get off your phone OP and go and enjoy the real world. You might realise that being a '10/10' doesn't guarantee you a happy relationship
I know it doesn't guarantee a happy relationship, but that's not why I want to change my body. I just want to look sexy for the men I date.

.... and that plenty of people that you and your tiktoks might deem much less attractive are in happy, healthy relationships and have happy, fulfilled lives.

I don't personally deem anyone "less attractive", it's all of these men who provide the 400k follows to the photoshopped women who think this.....so as a straight woman, it's their perception that shapes what beautiful is nowadays.

No, it is not.

I feel really sorry for you. I'd hate to have to live with what's going on in your head.

@Mummyoflittledragon Just because men find the women hot it doesn’t necessarily mean they want to have a relationship with them. They may just want her to have sex. Nothing more. So a beautiful sex object. Another notch in the bed post.

Yes, the whole classic one night stand vs relationship material thing. But men can want relationships with supposed "10/10"s as well. And I'm not rushing to get into a relationship, although I would like to one day.

I just want to look stunning!

I don't want to be the plain Jane, boring looking type. I want to look sexy and beautiful. Men may settle for women they find plain but a nice girl, but they'd rather their girlfriend was beautiful.

I'm sorry for what happened to your DD.

I’m a man so I’m in your target market so to speak. You are seeing yourself as through a distorted lens. A bit like in a hall of mirrors. When we men look at you it’s the opposite, our eye is drawn to the perfections you possess.

You didn’t specify whether you are after finding one special guy or you just want male attention to validate yourself? In either case you are going about this backwards. Confidence before cosmetics.

Getting male attention is easy getting our curiosity is a lot harder. I’ve dated sone very conventionally beautiful women, and I’ve dated some less-conventionally attractive ones. It not always the beauties that stick in our heads.