Page 33 | Called the police

Highfivemum · 2025-04-02T09:41:31+00:00

Had a person contact me previously stating that we shared the same parent. It could be true as had a very difficult and complicated childhood and one which I don’t want to remember. My DB and I chose to ignore it. Two days ago had a visit from a person stating they were related. I shut the door in their face. It was a huge shock and triggered every bad memory though I understand I should have acted better. Yesterday the door went again and it was a different person who also stated they were family and could they talk. I again shut the door. DH was going to stay at home today but had a meeting he had to go to and as soon as DH left for work the door goes again and it is both of them. I shut the door again and I called the police. I know it is not a police issue but I literally am sitting here shaking. DH is on his way home and DB can’t be contacted as away on business. I feel crazy for calling the police and no idea what they will say to me but I was so worried and panicked. Anyone know what can be done. ? I don’t want to know these people and have no idea how they have traced me and found out my address. It is a mess and I feel ill with worry.

Never2many · 05/04/2025 17:21

There are clearly a lot of people on this thread with 0 boundaries, who are probably capable of emotional manipulation and abuse and stalking.

Only someone capable of these behaviours would keep coming back to insist that these people have a right to whatever it is they want, when they blatantly don’t, and no-one other than the OP is entitled to think otherwise.

MarmaladeBagel · 05/04/2025 17:23

Op has mentioned a traumatic childhood and said that these people shouldn't have been able to find out where she lives so it's really not that hard to put 2 and 2 together. Very clear to me why these people are unwelcome. Take care op x

loropianalover · 05/04/2025 17:24

Cosmosforbreakfast · 05/04/2025 17:15

Are you a stalker yourself by any chance?

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🤣🤣 ‘Brad Pitt has run away from me, slammed the door in my face, set his security team on me, got a restraining order preventing me being within 100 feet of him…. But he hasn’t use his big grown up words and been clear with me that he doesn’t want to communicate…. So I’m going to keep standing outside his house.’

Elunajeya · 05/04/2025 17:25

loropianalover · 05/04/2025 17:24

🤣🤣 ‘Brad Pitt has run away from me, slammed the door in my face, set his security team on me, got a restraining order preventing me being within 100 feet of him…. But he hasn’t use his big grown up words and been clear with me that he doesn’t want to communicate…. So I’m going to keep standing outside his house.’

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Hi is that the sun? Brad Pitt has NO COMPASSION

Cosmosforbreakfast · 05/04/2025 17:33

Let's all go pester Brad Pitt til he communicates like an adult, being the master of his own destiny and all that. Once he's made it clear we're not to climb over his fence, break in through a window and sit in his bed demanding he marry us, well, then he can get a solicitor involved if we don't take no for an answer.

OP please don't pay any attention to posters who keep hammering you, they are obviously the kind of people who pester and harass others until they get their own way. Stay strong, you don't owe anybody anything.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 17:36

tilypu · 05/04/2025 17:00

I said 'ultimately clear'. I can understand the email, the first visit. Maybe even the second visit.

But to suggest that there is any doubt over the clarity of op's intent now is disingenuous.

And I absolutely would take avoidance as an answer. But I would never have behaved like that in the first place. I would have written a letter, left my contact details, and left the rest up to op. No answer would have been clear enough for me.

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That may have been what you would have done. It's probably what I would have done. These people appear to be desperate for a response, for whatever reason. You don't know what they've gone through. As the OP has suffered severe trauma, then it's not unreasonable to suppose they have too?

I don't know why you wouldn't just give them a response, and be done with them? Seems logical to me!

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 17:37

loropianalover · 05/04/2025 17:03

It doesn’t matter what they want. OP is not interested and does not need to be compassionate towards them, they were asked to leave several times and continued to stand around on her driveway ‘waiting’ for her. That’s intimidating and does not show any compassion towards OP.

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There are three people involved in this situation. One can have compassion for the OP, and one can also have compassion for the potential siblings.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 17:39

Elunajeya · 05/04/2025 17:14

These two clearly don’t.

And no, it doesn’t matter what trauma you have; you don’t get to force it on other people.

Take it elsewhere.

But you’ve said you wouldn’t take avoidance as an answer, so you’re clearly as selfish as they are.

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Hilarious character assassination on the basis of a single thread. You're psychic obviously.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 17:40

Cosmosforbreakfast · 05/04/2025 17:15

Are you a stalker yourself by any chance?

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No. Are you?

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 17:40

Never2many · 05/04/2025 17:18

You of course can think what you like.

you’re wrong though.

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Nope. I am not wrong, just more open-minded than you.

outerspacepotato · 05/04/2025 17:46

"one can also have compassion for the potential siblings."

We don't know that's what they are. We do know that they scared OP by their unreasonable actions and not taking her obvious refusal to have anything to do with them as final. They're trying to wear her down. That is toxic behaviour and I don't have compassion for assholes who try to intimidate a woman they know wants nothing to do with them. Fuck them stalkers.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 17:47

Never2many · 05/04/2025 17:21

There are clearly a lot of people on this thread with 0 boundaries, who are probably capable of emotional manipulation and abuse and stalking.

Only someone capable of these behaviours would keep coming back to insist that these people have a right to whatever it is they want, when they blatantly don’t, and no-one other than the OP is entitled to think otherwise.

I am unclear about your reading comprehension skills but I have not seen a single poster state that these people "have a right" to anything. You have 0 idea what they are "probably capable of".

Some of us who are more intuitive and emotionally intelligent posters understand why they might be desperately seeking some information.

I can't believe some of the attitudes here. If I had information that might help someone move on from their personal trauma, I would share it. I couldn't live with myself otherwise. Think what you like and slate me as much as you want, I don't care. Actually save yourself the bother and just don't.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 17:48

Cosmosforbreakfast · 05/04/2025 17:33

Let's all go pester Brad Pitt til he communicates like an adult, being the master of his own destiny and all that. Once he's made it clear we're not to climb over his fence, break in through a window and sit in his bed demanding he marry us, well, then he can get a solicitor involved if we don't take no for an answer.

OP please don't pay any attention to posters who keep hammering you, they are obviously the kind of people who pester and harass others until they get their own way. Stay strong, you don't owe anybody anything.

Are you not embarrassed?

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 17:49

outerspacepotato · 05/04/2025 17:46

"one can also have compassion for the potential siblings."

We don't know that's what they are. We do know that they scared OP by their unreasonable actions and not taking her obvious refusal to have anything to do with them as final. They're trying to wear her down. That is toxic behaviour and I don't have compassion for assholes who try to intimidate a woman they know wants nothing to do with them. Fuck them stalkers.

Well the OP seems to think they could be. I think she probably knows better than you do.

And I'd have answered the email, and not let the situation get to this.

Megifer · 05/04/2025 17:50

BreatheAndFocus · 05/04/2025 16:38

If you’d read my post you’ll see I was referring to the lack of reply to the original email sent by these people. I addressed the turning up at poor OP’s door in a separate paragraph.

Someone asks you something - always best to reply clearly and firmly rather than hope they pick up on your feelings by you not replying. There’s another thread active at the moment where the OP was interrupted by a colleague on a week’s break when she wanted to be alone. The colleague has now mentioned doing the same thing again (socialising in her mind, intruding in the OP’s mind). People responding are stressing the need to be clear that the OP doesn’t want her company. This thread is more serious but the principle is the same.

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I read your post. I stand by my comments, as they remain relevant to your posts.

FaithFables · 05/04/2025 18:05

sandrafarringdon66 · 05/04/2025 13:50

Indeed. Hiring a solicitor because some long distance relatives decided to contact you? 🤣

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How much of a sheltered life must you have led to be unable to comprehend why someone wouldn't want their family contacting them in any way? And how thick and emotionally immature must you be to laugh about it!

DevilledEgg · 05/04/2025 18:05

MissyPants · 05/04/2025 14:56

Just tell them you have no interest. Don't say "I don't want anything to do with you" and that's it.
They are curious, you are not, so you must respect their side of things. Just talk to them in an adult manner.

Why should op show them respect when they have shown her none? They're harassing her! She doesn't need to respect harassment!

pinkdelight · 05/04/2025 18:21

On this (incomplete) page alone, @mainecooncatonahottinroof has done 8 replies so far. I think we get the point - she can't bear any contact to go without a response. However futile.

tilypu · 05/04/2025 18:29

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 17:47

I am unclear about your reading comprehension skills but I have not seen a single poster state that these people "have a right" to anything. You have 0 idea what they are "probably capable of".

Some of us who are more intuitive and emotionally intelligent posters understand why they might be desperately seeking some information.

I can't believe some of the attitudes here. If I had information that might help someone move on from their personal trauma, I would share it. I couldn't live with myself otherwise. Think what you like and slate me as much as you want, I don't care. Actually save yourself the bother and just don't.

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Someone fairly early on in the thread said that they have a right to know their sibling. I haven't read every post since then, there may be others.

So it may be the case that it is your reading skills that need work, rather than @Never2many's

feellikeanalien · 05/04/2025 18:30

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 17:47

I am unclear about your reading comprehension skills but I have not seen a single poster state that these people "have a right" to anything. You have 0 idea what they are "probably capable of".

Some of us who are more intuitive and emotionally intelligent posters understand why they might be desperately seeking some information.

I can't believe some of the attitudes here. If I had information that might help someone move on from their personal trauma, I would share it. I couldn't live with myself otherwise. Think what you like and slate me as much as you want, I don't care. Actually save yourself the bother and just don't.

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And what if this information they are looking for (and it's not clear that it is actually information they are after) is going to cause trauma to the OP and her brother?

From what OP has said this is clearly something relating to her family's past which is traumatic and difficult and just because these people want information the OP has absolutely no obligation to give it to them if it is going to cause distress to her and her brother.

If you are talking about compassion then surely you could say that these people should have compassion for OP and not force her to relive childhood trauma.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 18:32

tilypu · 05/04/2025 18:29

Someone fairly early on in the thread said that they have a right to know their sibling. I haven't read every post since then, there may be others.

So it may be the case that it is your reading skills that need work, rather than @Never2many's

Edited

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Nah my reading skills are excellent. I don't dispute there may be a post but I am not thinking about this thread so deeply as to recall every single one. It certainly hasn't been a theme.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 18:33

feellikeanalien · 05/04/2025 18:30

And what if this information they are looking for (and it's not clear that it is actually information they are after) is going to cause trauma to the OP and her brother?

From what OP has said this is clearly something relating to her family's past which is traumatic and difficult and just because these people want information the OP has absolutely no obligation to give it to them if it is going to cause distress to her and her brother.

If you are talking about compassion then surely you could say that these people should have compassion for OP and not force her to relive childhood trauma.

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You see, I have compassion for all of them.

tilypu · 05/04/2025 18:37

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 17:36

That may have been what you would have done. It's probably what I would have done. These people appear to be desperate for a response, for whatever reason. You don't know what they've gone through. As the OP has suffered severe trauma, then it's not unreasonable to suppose they have too?

I don't know why you wouldn't just give them a response, and be done with them? Seems logical to me!

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But she has given them a response. She wrote them a note.

It didn't stop them sending a letter though...

pinkdelight · 05/04/2025 18:52

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 05/04/2025 18:33

You see, I have compassion for all of them.

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So Christ-like. We know not what we do.

BreatheAndFocus · 05/04/2025 18:58

gotmyknickersinatwist · 05/04/2025 15:35

The thread title is 'Called the police'
🤦‍♀️

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🙄 She didn’t call the police due to threats of extortion or blackmail, she called them because the people were outside her house. A commenter then said maybe there were threats made by the people in the letter they’ve just sent her - which you can see if you looked at the post I was responding to.

Let me say it again - if the letter sent by the people contained threats of extortion and blackmail, then the OP should call the police about this.

HTH 🤦‍♀️