To not go to a friend’s party because she still owes me money?

[SpaceMoo]

They are DH’s friends really more than mine, and have borrowed money from us to help out their son buy a house. That was a year ago. She’s now having a massive 50th party and is very keen for us all to go. She’s also been on holiday (flying business class she raved to us - it was a gift apparently.) We’ve asked for the money back three times now and she said it’s so hard to take out loans and her other property didn’t sell, problems with tenants etc.

Anyway, I would prefer to cut her off and get solicitors involved. DH trusts her he said and thinks they’re just putting the house on the market and will give the money back. He sees her more often than me as they work close by. He doesn’t want to end it and thinks I’m being petty, it’s just a matter of time. In the meantime she advised us to remortgage our property (which me and DH argued about and a) I resent the arguing and b) point blank refused.

It’s time to get solicitors involved I feel. (Money amount 40k)

I would have subjected this woman and her husband and son to a super-google by now, I'd have a file of all their business contacts, their properties and addresses, and I'd already have got in touch with the FCA. She wants to be friends with you? GREAT. Don't let her out of your sight.

Will do ❤️

I will see a solicitor and get some advice.
Will update this thread.

Check out divorcing that idiot you are married to while in there.
I feel so sorry for you.
This hasn't happened by chance.
They have clearly marked him out as dump as fxck and god help you, you are caught up in it.

So you are payongbinterestvonnyiurbloams when you could have paid them straight off with this money? And your DH can’t see why this is wrong? And a financial adviser can’t see why this is wrong?

There’s been a few like this recently. So strange

Eh?

Paying interest on your loans

This thread might have changed my whole situation. I can’t thank you all enough!

Her loan came through and we got the money back this afternoon!

if anyone wants to know:

backing up to yesterday…
I came down with a cold, all bunged up and sneezy runny eyes, taking some time out I decided to read every single comment on this thread. I already was but again incase I had missed any.
I watched CON MUM as some of you have mentioned. (Thank you) - same time scrolling through this thread. Have read out some comments aloud to DH. DH knows I’m on here updating and also searching for solicitors to see on Monday.
DH was watching con mum with me. I started laughing and doing the impressions of his friend but in Dionne’s voice (going on holiday to New York flying business class but owes us money and then calling him to tell him how amazing business class was!) I was being awful and bitchy laughing at my own jokes, probably a bit high on meds and so childish. He decided before the programme finished to leave.
Said he’s popping to supermarket. I really wanted some chicken and lentil soup. About 6pm
He took ages.
Came home much later with a few groceries.

I had wondered if he had popped round to see his friend. I didn’t ask.

This afternoon he told me after the money came into our account (we have the bank app) that he had visited his friend at home yesterday evening. Her DH was there and her DH was very upset with her helping their son ‘raise the capital’. Something like 450k deposit. He did not agree with it is upset about a lot of stuff. Her loan magically came through and she has transferred the full amount 40K into our account today.

DH said he has to go and see his sister now to back up his lie. So we’ll be visiting his sis on Sunday.

We have had a massive row this afternoon. I didn’t believe she would have given it back if he hadn’t pushed her, cornered her. (Without this thread?) He thinks she was always going to give it back. I’m too ill to argue properly.

Great news OP!!

Well!

Look on the bright side, OP. You've got your 40 grand back. That's huge!

Time to lock all your family savings away in an account that needs two signatures for withdrawal now...

Anyway, glad we’ve got the money back. Feels like such a relief I almost want to just forgive and forget, and move on. But that might be me just feeling run down and tired.

You got your money back and I bet your DH has learned something,

So, inquiring minds need to know… are you going to the party? 🎉

This is exactly what my friend has asked 🤣 Actually her advice was I have to pull away from this woman for all the shit she’s put me and DH through.
I feel like I’m done with her. DH even had the audacity today to mention what gift should we buy for her 50th and go to the party then? (This is when things went a bit sideways)

So he’s still brainwashed? Hypnotised?

I’d be exactly the same way. I’m so sorry your DH is not more understanding.

That’s great news! Very happy for you, @SpaceMoo. You now need to put that money somewhere safe so your chump DH can’t unilaterally send it to a Nigerian prince to secure a vast inheritance he’s been promised, or whatever the fuck else he may get a notion to do with it.

Great news. Sounds like the money came from her husband in the end

Your dh knew the legal noose was about to be executed and he got there first. Probably warned her about the consequences. Something doesn’t add up with your dh’s behaviour. Why did she agree so readily? Why is he pretending none of this has happened? What about the interest? Why didn’t he tell you where he was going? Such easy dishonesty and pretence would be red flags 🚩 for me.

Why does this woman have such a hold over your husband?

I was just making a list of these and more too @Livingbytheocean Have taken it to my own notes for myself instead of posting here.
So many problems, red flags. I might start another thread.

Absolutely cut ties with the woman. What's wrong with your H?!

Very happy for you - Hopefully you'll sleep better tonight!

Is this in a joint account?

With your DH asking what to buy her for a birthday present I'd get it set in stone that absolutely none of it gets spent on the friend.

I'm glad (and surprised) you got your money back @SpaceMoo!

I wouldn't be able to trust my DH again if he'd done that.
I can't believe your DH still wants to be friends with her!

So pleased you have the money. Initially I thought this was an ill thought mess but I’m now more sure it’s a con. Robbing Peter to pay Paul, a financial advisor giving awful advice who can’t raise 40k. But yet when your dh puts the pressure on in front of her dh it magically appears. Fishier than the market on Friday

You say you have the bank app: have you actually seen the amount has been transferred to your bank (from her!)?

With regards to the party, no, I don’t think you should go. Why would you want to? And buy her a present? No fucking way! I think she’s caused you so much stress and hassle that she’s killed the ’friendship’. Dead in the water. Don’t let your Dh be a sap.