I called him a f**king tramp. DH overheard and is now furious

[ionlysaidone1]

Aibu?

DHs older son is 14. He doesn't treat the house with any respect when he's here and I understand that can just be teens so I try so hard to bite my tongue.

But one thing I cannot stand is the state of the toilet whenever he's here. He will literally piss all over it, down the back of the toilet, sometimes it's on the floor etc..

I have tried REPEATEDLY to bring this up with DH who minimises completely saying it's not that bad, only takes two seconds to clean up, I'm exaggerating, it's not his son despite it only happening when he's here obviously.

I have taken to shouting DSS in every time I notice it and making him clean the toilet but it's still happening. He's revolting.

Anyway, tonight I came to use the bathroom after SS and lo and behold the seat is a mess again, piss in the back between the cistern and toilet seat. I was so annoyed that I just went WHAT A FUCKING TRAMP! And then shouted SS to get in there and clean it up.

SS didn't hear the tramp comment but DH did and now he's furious.

I've apologised for calling SS a tramp

but said I won't apologise for being angry at this happening AGAIN.

H thinks I've committed some cardinal sin calling his son a tramp but honestly, if the shoe fits! If he doesn't like it he should do more to get through to his son.

I'm so over this situation it's disgusting.

If you read the post properly, you will see that the son did NOT hear her say he was a fucking tramp. Her husband overheard. She did not yell it at the son. And anyway, the son is absolutely disgusting. I would have called him worse.

It’s not normal teenage boy behaviour at all. YANBU. If your DH won’t sort this out I’d vote for a calm sit down with ss and DH and ask ss if he had any medical issues as it’s just not acceptable.

Make a big thing of it and see if he changes. Then laminate a sign addressed to him advising he needs to sit down for a wee. Leave it stuck up until it improves.

Saying this is normal teenage behaviour is like saying a 14yo girl would have a period and leave it smeared all over with a used tampon floating in the bowl.

He’s 14 and just doesn’t give a shit, but he needs to start treating the home with respect.

@ionlysaidone1 Stop telling your dss to clean up and start yelling at your dp to take care of it. Maybe then he'll tell his son to either aim or clean up because he's the one who has to deal with the mess.

Absolutely. He is a fucking tramp and old
enough to know better.

Agree.

Also, you sound incredibly immature and incapable of handling this in an adult manner.

No they wouldn’t! It’s honestly disgusting that men and boys piss everywhere and just leave it stinking!

I teach primary school, and the smell and mess in the boys toilets is honestly disgusting!! They have NO manners at all! Genuinely horrified that parents minimise this as ‘it’s just boys’ 🤬

Fuck that!! Sit down to piss if you are such a bad aim! There are no ‘rules’ that state men have to stand!

Does (a) and (b) mean they also lose use of their hands to clean up, and their eyesight to SEE where they have sprayed wee everywhere??

FFS Why do people make excuses for males? Would you do an (a) and (b) for girls continuously leaving menstrual blood on a loo seat for their step-father to clean up? No, you wouldnt, and nor should you.

Pretty sure TRAMP is not an acceptable word to use in this day and age.

It’s the same with men’s toilets in pubs. Maybe if they’re been held accountable from a young age they wouldn’t be so vile.

She did not call him names. The kid did not hear. The husband overheard. She did not shout it to anyone. It was a comment she made knowing the son was out of earshot, but not knowing her husband was close by. So the son cannot be upset because he did not hear anything. Personally, I would have made sure he had heard. Because it is disgusting, unnecessary and vile.

I would have omitted the word "fucking" but absolutely would call him a tramp, because he is.

Make DH clear it up, every single time. March him to the toilet and shove cleaning products in his face.

That's a bit of a leap of embellishing the story to fit your narrative. You're accusing the OP of being the OW and saying therefore that the 14 year old is entitled to piss wherever he wants and the OP must subserviently clean it up without a whisper? 😬

But your SS is behaving disgustingly in doing this. I’d be annoyed if I were your DH to hear you calling my child this. However as your DH I also wouldn’t be accepting SS pissing everywhere. SS should be made to clean it up every time without exception.

Christ.

Why don’t men understand that it’s bloody disgusting?! You’ve done nothing wrong, OP. Tramp is mild.

Well, he's not taking any notice of you, so it's hardly surprising you lost your cool. He must be doing it on purpose. He can't be that careless. Not cleaning up after himself is hugely disrespectful. His father really needs to address this.

What other disgusting things does he do?

She did call him names, she called him a tramp

Just because he didn't hear her, doesn't mean she didn't say it

I'd be very upset that my son wasn't being parented by his dad but also at this woman speaking about a teenage boy like this

Sorry, I don't understand. OP is the new wife. Dss's mother is the old wife. Same as with Diana - her parents divorced. I don't understand.

You NEVER say anything under your breath? Ever? Sorry - don't believe you 😂😂😂😂😂😂

All this does is remind us how unhinged she was

No, this is not normal or acceptable behaviour for an able bodied 14 year old.

I think a basic expectation for a man is to able to teach his sons not to piss all over the toilet.

Tell your DH he is failing as a man.

Aww I'd love to see your cutesy reaction to having your bog regularly pissed all over. Rounds of applause for managing to do a wee wee on the big boy toilet

I don't call my kid names tbh, and the original post doesn't mention an under breath comment

But yes I have done - I'm not saying I wouldn't be pissed off! But would direct my annoyance to my husband/boyfriend, not step kid, and i wouldn't be shouting at a step kid either

I am male. No it's not. With uncircumcised men the foreskin can alter the direction of flow...what is shit is the dirty little bastard clearly doesn't care and doesn't clean up.

I'd be making dh wipe up

I think a tramp would be glad of an indoor toilet