I called him a f**king tramp. DH overheard and is now furious

[ionlysaidone1]

Aibu?

DHs older son is 14. He doesn't treat the house with any respect when he's here and I understand that can just be teens so I try so hard to bite my tongue.

But one thing I cannot stand is the state of the toilet whenever he's here. He will literally piss all over it, down the back of the toilet, sometimes it's on the floor etc..

I have tried REPEATEDLY to bring this up with DH who minimises completely saying it's not that bad, only takes two seconds to clean up, I'm exaggerating, it's not his son despite it only happening when he's here obviously.

I have taken to shouting DSS in every time I notice it and making him clean the toilet but it's still happening. He's revolting.

Anyway, tonight I came to use the bathroom after SS and lo and behold the seat is a mess again, piss in the back between the cistern and toilet seat. I was so annoyed that I just went WHAT A FUCKING TRAMP! And then shouted SS to get in there and clean it up.

SS didn't hear the tramp comment but DH did and now he's furious.

I've apologised for calling SS a tramp

but said I won't apologise for being angry at this happening AGAIN.

H thinks I've committed some cardinal sin calling his son a tramp but honestly, if the shoe fits! If he doesn't like it he should do more to get through to his son.

I'm so over this situation it's disgusting.

I would think about leaving him to be honest. Maybe when you're gone DH will think about teaching his boy some life lessons and if he doesn't then whatever, surely you can find a better man.

Totally right to call your SS back to clean up his mess. Your DH needs to also reinforce this

I've 2 Teen boys myself and had to do this multiple times (including losing my cool after the billion times of telling them calmly ) until they finally got the message that living like pigs is not happening in my house

My eternal question on threads like these…how does one ‘make’ another adult do something? Or even a 14 year old child? Clearly they are both vile and OP is NBU (might have been to shout it in his face!) but please do explain how she can ‘make’ her DH clean it?

He’s acting like a fucking tramp, so tell your husband to raise him better.

You don’t just take on a man you take on his kids too. Teenage boys are inclined on occasion to be beyond putrid. So much easier when they are your own flesh and blood ( or piss even 🤢). It’s a perfect example of buyer beware sadly. Let this be a warning for the rest of us.

Yeah, like WTAF !!!!!
Who would do that

She muttered it to herself, she clearly say the DSS didn't hear it, do read the thread dear

Frustrating as it is, does the child need circumcision, my son used to do this when he was younger, after the procedure it stopped. If not, then Crack on with keep telling your husband to clean it up.

Christ, I’ve been reading this thread over the last couple of days and I’m stunned.

If OP’s DH blurted out ‘fucking tramp’ in relation to OP doing something disgusting, it would be an abomination. Posters would be piling on saying how abusive and awful he is, the excuse that it wasn’t directly in her face just wouldn’t fly. It’s okay when a woman uses foul language towards someone apparently!

DH definitely needs to have a word with DS. At 14 if you can't pee directly into the toilet bowl (is there is a physical reason why he can't) then he is purposely pissing all over you and your rules! Is he doing this in other people's homes?!! 😳

What kind of person pees all over the seat and surrounding floor and walks away. He knows he’s done it as he’s looking at his workmanship. He’s doing it deliberately to get under your skin. You didn’t call him a tramp to his face you commented as an exclamation. You need to speak to your husband and stress his son is being disrespectful and he needs to sort it. He’ll hear a lot worse language than that at school and probably uses it himself.

Its not teenage boys, actually. Given them credit - they don't all piss on the floor once they're toilet trained.
Its THIS teenage boy.
Unless he's blind or has a hypospadia there is no excuse.
If your husband is happy with the situation- then he should clear it up.
Personally... much as it would drive me insane I'd leave it until it absolutely stinks and you're wading around in it.

The fuck? No child needs circumcision, it's barbaric.

Sometimes a boy will need circumcision if the foreskin is too tight and/or deformed, and/or the penis is deformed and the flow of urine can't pass through. I don't support circumcision in general, but sometimes it's needed.

Obviously doesn’t lock the door then!

I would be surprised if the problem is the boy needing circumcision

As that does not explain why he does not clean up the mess. It seems more likely he does not respect the OP or is indeed a tramp.

However perhaps if OP suggests it as an option, the threat will help him improve his aim.

It's hardly barbaric if it's a medical need you fool. Of course some people need to have the prodecure carried out.

No one is suggesting they perform the procedure publicly and have a party. Calm down.

Shut up.

If he had an actual medical issue, it would have reared its head by now because that sort of thing doesn't go unnoticed.

And yes, circumcision without medical necessity, is barbaric.

There is the usual withdrawal of all domestic services done by her for the benefit of the rest of the household. No cooking, cleaning, laundry, sex.

She could also get a lock installed on the bathroom door and keep the key herself. She could be the only one able to use the bathroom, for the loo, the bath, brushing teeth, shaving, etc. If this man and his son wanted to use the bathroom it would be on conditon that it was left spotless.

I personally would kick both of them to the curb.

That is a matter of opinion, and smacks of anti-semitism and islamophobia.

Why. Are. You. In. This. Relationship.

Pro tip: boys and men can pee sitting down if they can't control their spray.

If my boys behaved in any way like that, words like "fxxking tramp" would be the least of their and my husbands worries.

Your husband is a disgrace, hardly surprising his son is dragged up.

Quite. And if they make a mess, they can clean it. Even if it’s a medical issue. .

It’s not teenage boys as I have one and he cleans up after himself well he certainly doesn’t piss everywhere! He’s doing it because he is a tramp and gets away with it with his dad