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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cheap engagement ring. AIBU

206 replies

Georgia1105 · 31/03/2025 00:48

Hi. I’ll give you full picture, I’d really like to know others opinions on whether I’m being unreadable or not. So me and my fiancé have been together 10 years. We have 2 children together. My first engagement ring was about 6 months into our relationship. He never really ‘proposed’ to me. He just casually looked at rings and we discussed which ones I liked. I think I may have even put something towards the ring I’m not entirely sure. I was young and just happy to be proposed to. Although I have a different view now being 34 years old.. back then I was happy. Some years later we briefly separated and I told him I didn’t want to engaged. When we got back together, I said he’d have to propose again and properly. As he never officially asked me the first time. There was no emotional moment of getting down on one knee or anything like that. I believe every lady deserves that sort of effort from the man she’d be spending the rest of her life with. Anyways months later he ended up asking me to marry him when I was feeling icky, sat on my sofa with greasy hair and on my period. The kids were in the room. It wasn’t Romantic at all. I mean can this man not put any effort in? And the ring well…. He left it in the gift bag so I looked up the store he bought it from. As soon as I go onto the website … boom it’s there. The price was £379 or there abouts. So he didn’t spend much on it at all…. Nor did it seem like he put much thought into searching for a ring which I might like. Just the first one that pops up on the website. I can’t help but feel cheated out of a nice romantic proposal and a half decent ring. I can’t even stand to wear it never mind look at it. I feel angry. I’d like genuine thoughts am I being reasonable here?

OP posts:
SALaw · 03/04/2025 01:04

Did you prefer the previous ring and if so why not just use that one?

Thedandyanddude · 03/04/2025 01:15

Tbh its giving me the ick that you've basically asked him to propose, when you were already engaged. And now you aren't happy hes "only" spent 379 on a ring. Looking up the value of gifts is tacky. What do you do to show him you love him? What gifts have you bought him for 400quid?

Sam858 · 03/04/2025 07:45

Just wanted to say you're not being unreasonable at all- some of the responses have been less than kind. You wanted thought and effort put into the ring and proposal which is completely understandable and reasonable no matter how long you've been together and regardless of having children. You still deserve that. I think people are missing the point that you wanted a thoughtful, nice ring to your taste rather than the first one he came across and he is able to afford something abit nicer. I hope he is able to understand how you feel and give you a do over

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 03/04/2025 07:57

YANBU. I would be very disappointed in that lacklustre proposal and cheap rings.

CharlotteCChapel · 03/04/2025 07:59

DH didn't really propose and I bought the engagement ring. We've been married for 37 years this year.

Sheeparemyfriends · 03/04/2025 08:25

My ring cost £60 30 yrs ago. No helicopter ride, Eiffel tower or beach walk here - just a question. Still married. Ring needed mending so I bought a vintage one for £120, as there are so many other things we could spend money on, and I like dainty rings. Yes, I'd like an eternity ring, but not going to sulk over it.

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