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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Furious at my lazy fuck of a boyfriend.

218 replies

ThrowingHands · 22/03/2025 10:09

A couple of months ago, I began to notice our dog was pooing in the house and I couldn't figure out why. He's an older dog so took him to the vet to try and figure out if it was fecal incontinence due to his other health issues. Vet said unlikely. Thought we were going to have to run more invasive tests until bf announces yeah he's been doing it for weeks.

I said well what have you been doing about it? He said nothing because he's been sleeping. He works an evening shift and gets to bed quite late, and has been letting the dog shit in the house rather than wake up before 11am to see to him.

I was fizzing. Not least because he also said he doesnt clean the floor the dog has pooped on. Just picks up the poo and wipes the area with a dry paper towel if needed. Fucking gross.

I took a week off work annual leave and retrained the dog again. Basically involved sleeping on the sofa downstairs and getting up at all hours of the night to make sure the dog goes out when he needs to, and it worked. He's been fine for weeks.

Until this morning when he did it again in the house (even though the back door was wide open), and then in my car on the way to the park.

Spoke to bf and yep, he's been letting the dog go in the house again because he's too tired to get up.

I have told him to pack a bag and get to his mums. I can't even look at him right now. AIBU to tell him not to bother coming back?

OP posts:
faerietales · 23/03/2025 17:55

AngelicKaty · 23/03/2025 17:49

"It means I can make sure he empties his bladder before being left at home, or before a long car journey, for example." But you know poo doesn't come from the bladder, right?

No, really? 🤔

My whole life has been a lie!

ChicaWowWow · 23/03/2025 19:35

Radish81 · 23/03/2025 15:53

My dog
up
out door
poo circa 8am

after dinner
put door
poo circa 5pm

done.

Did you try to write a haiku?

Radish81 · 23/03/2025 19:37

ChicaWowWow · 23/03/2025 19:35

Did you try to write a haiku?

Bloody hell…. Failed on that front monumentally if i did. It’s not even close

ChicaWowWow · 23/03/2025 19:38

Radish81 · 23/03/2025 19:37

Bloody hell…. Failed on that front monumentally if i did. It’s not even close

I mean, you failed at making proper sentences too 🤷‍♀️

Radish81 · 23/03/2025 19:39

ChicaWowWow · 23/03/2025 19:38

I mean, you failed at making proper sentences too 🤷‍♀️

It’s mumsnet AIBU…. Just dump the words and move on 😁

ChicaWowWow · 23/03/2025 19:40

Radish81 · 23/03/2025 19:39

It’s mumsnet AIBU…. Just dump the words and move on 😁

😆 fair enough!

McBilbo · 23/03/2025 19:54

When I read your post I thought you were in the right. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but he finishes at 1am, goes to bed at 3/4am - that’s not unreasonable.

I get you let the dog out for a pee before work, but a dog needs to go for a walk! Maybe try walking the dog for 20 mins before your work and don’t feed. Your bf could have fed him when he got up at 11. That might have mitigated the accidents.

failing that, you need to get a dog walker. You can’t expect someone who goes to bed at 3am to get up to let the dog out before 11. The dog needs walked, not just let out!

AngelicKaty · 23/03/2025 20:54

McBilbo · 23/03/2025 19:54

When I read your post I thought you were in the right. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but he finishes at 1am, goes to bed at 3/4am - that’s not unreasonable.

I get you let the dog out for a pee before work, but a dog needs to go for a walk! Maybe try walking the dog for 20 mins before your work and don’t feed. Your bf could have fed him when he got up at 11. That might have mitigated the accidents.

failing that, you need to get a dog walker. You can’t expect someone who goes to bed at 3am to get up to let the dog out before 11. The dog needs walked, not just let out!

Wow, imagine if you'd RTFT. 🙄

Radish81 · 24/03/2025 07:02

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AngelicKaty · 24/03/2025 07:54

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That's funny, you seem to spend all day every day on MN threads doubting the honesty of people who start them, making assumptions about them and accusing them of lying (because you haven't RTFT) and picking arguments with other posters.

And given that you were on MN all day yesterday I could make the same assumption as you - except it was a Sunday. 🙄

beAsensible1 · 24/03/2025 07:56

He is disgusting

Bumblebeestiltskin · 24/03/2025 08:00

Great update, OP!

Igmum · 25/03/2025 10:45

Well done @ThrowingHands and here’s wishing you and your DDog a much better future

Poutysorry · 26/03/2025 08:27

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ThrowingHands · 26/03/2025 12:01

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He's gone. He came with his dad yesterday to pick up most of his stuff, and will be getting the rest this weekend.

OP posts:
AngelicKaty · 26/03/2025 13:15

ThrowingHands · 26/03/2025 12:01

He's gone. He came with his dad yesterday to pick up most of his stuff, and will be getting the rest this weekend.

Well done OP. I really don't know why other MN users think they know you better than you know yourself, or want to challenge your resolve. 🙄 I wonder how your lazy exbf is enjoying everyone knowing (or finding out in the future) the reason for your breakup - I hope he "enjoys" the opprobrium he deserves!

AngelicKaty · 26/03/2025 13:17

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🙄

Dubiousaseva · 26/03/2025 14:40

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