Furious at my lazy fuck of a boyfriend.

[ThrowingHands]

A couple of months ago, I began to notice our dog was pooing in the house and I couldn't figure out why. He's an older dog so took him to the vet to try and figure out if it was fecal incontinence due to his other health issues. Vet said unlikely. Thought we were going to have to run more invasive tests until bf announces yeah he's been doing it for weeks.

I said well what have you been doing about it? He said nothing because he's been sleeping. He works an evening shift and gets to bed quite late, and has been letting the dog shit in the house rather than wake up before 11am to see to him.

I was fizzing. Not least because he also said he doesnt clean the floor the dog has pooped on. Just picks up the poo and wipes the area with a dry paper towel if needed. Fucking gross.

I took a week off work annual leave and retrained the dog again. Basically involved sleeping on the sofa downstairs and getting up at all hours of the night to make sure the dog goes out when he needs to, and it worked. He's been fine for weeks.

Until this morning when he did it again in the house (even though the back door was wide open), and then in my car on the way to the park.

Spoke to bf and yep, he's been letting the dog go in the house again because he's too tired to get up.

I have told him to pack a bag and get to his mums. I can't even look at him right now. AIBU to tell him not to bother coming back?

She’s already kicked him out and plans to tell him to come and get the rest of his stuff tomorrow.

@faerietales she already had a solution by organising a dog walker which only stopped because the useless fuck of a boyfriend felt embarrassed he was sat around when the dog walker came, instead of taking responsibility and doing it himself.

I know. I wouldn't have stopped the walker - my dogs' welfare is more important than a grown man being embarrassed.

We shall see

I don’t get the sense that this relationship having bust ups and him going to his mum’s is an infrequent occurrence

Maybe she trusted him when he said he’d step up. As you tend to do in a relationship. Now that she knows he’s not going to take responsibility she’s getting rid of the BF and will not doubt sort everything for her dog.

Thank you for your replies, everyone.

I have ended the relationship. As pp have said, cruelty towards an animal is a deal breaker.

As for my plans for the dog going forward, I'm going to chat to my boss on Monday about a flexible working arrangement.

Same. It’s unreasonable to expect him to get up before 11 to let the dog out given his work hours, but it’s not unreasonable to expect him to have said that rather than just not do it, especially the second time around. Someone needed to be paying for a dog walker/minder - whether that’s OP, the BF or both depends whose dog it is.

Well done OP and I'm so sorry your exbf let you and the dog down so badly - I would find this utterly unforgivable too. Good luck with the chat with your boss! tomorrow. 🤗

Why don't people RTFT before commenting?
OP told us yesterday: "We bought the dog together. Joint commitment, and he agreed he would take responsibility in the mornings."
She also told us that she'd previously organised a dog-walker for their dog but her exbf "didn't like the fact the dog walker was showing up while he was sat around doing f-all. I think it shamed him into it." (Walking the dog, that is.) She also told us that the reason she cancelled the dog-walker is "because bf promised he would do better and take the dog out daily (which to be fair, he did start doing)."
It's absolutely clear that OP did everything that could reasonably be expected of a loving, responsible dog-owner. Her exbf, on the other hand - the dog's co-owner - didn't even do the bare minimum unless he was shamed/embarrassed into it, but even then, he lied about what he was neglecting to do (i.e. letting the dog out at 3-4am before he went to bed) until the prospect of paying for unnecessary veterinary tests became a possibility.
In short, OP's lazy fucker of an exbf neglected their dog.

Hopefully he won’t fight you for custody

Hilarious - all those thinking that a dog can be trained to poo on command 🙄🤯

Mine is as regular as clockwork

I am seething with jealousy about it!

You may think it's "hilarious" but they actually can be to an extent - obviously it's not foolproof, but lots of dogs are trained to at least try and go on command.

Ours has been taught since puppyhood that "go toilet" means "go and pee/poo" and I'd say that about 95% of the time, he'll manage it.

@stclementine is clearly a dog owner of a dog who is pooping in the house still!

Nope. Mine barks at the door to be let out and does it outside. I’m 50 years old and have been around dogs since the day I was born, so not much I don’t know them. But thanks for your concern.

Then you'd know it's perfectly possible to train them to toilet on command.

Well it would appear this is a gap in your extensive knowledge

My dog
up
out door
poo circa 8am

after dinner
put door
poo circa 5pm

done.

The dogs aren't pooing on command, they're pooing where they're supposed to be and usually at regular times. But no dog is pooing every time they're told to poo, which is what "on command" means.

My dog is perfectly toilet trained but if I tell her to poo and she doesn't need to, she won't even bother trying.

Mine doesn't go at regular times at all - he goes when I let him out and tell him to go to the toilet. Obviously if he asks in between, I let him out then too, but it's a very useful skill to teach.

It means I can make sure he empties his bladder before being left at home, or before a long car journey, for example.

Obviously it's not totally foolproof but it's got about a 95% success rate.

Imaginary dogs are always so much better behaved than the real ones.

OP well done on getting rid of the arsehole and hope your puppy has a lovely peaceful life.

Spot the struggling dog owner!

My bank account will definitely confirm he's not imaginary

But she has fifty years experience! So she must know everything and anyone who says otherwise is lying

Best tell all the official charities that recommend training dogs to toilet on command that they're wrong too...

"It means I can make sure he empties his bladder before being left at home, or before a long car journey, for example." But you know poo doesn't come from the bladder, right?

Vomit this is disgusting. I would be bleaching the whole house.
Good riddance to bad rubbish