Furious at my lazy fuck of a boyfriend.

[ThrowingHands]

A couple of months ago, I began to notice our dog was pooing in the house and I couldn't figure out why. He's an older dog so took him to the vet to try and figure out if it was fecal incontinence due to his other health issues. Vet said unlikely. Thought we were going to have to run more invasive tests until bf announces yeah he's been doing it for weeks.

I said well what have you been doing about it? He said nothing because he's been sleeping. He works an evening shift and gets to bed quite late, and has been letting the dog shit in the house rather than wake up before 11am to see to him.

I was fizzing. Not least because he also said he doesnt clean the floor the dog has pooped on. Just picks up the poo and wipes the area with a dry paper towel if needed. Fucking gross.

I took a week off work annual leave and retrained the dog again. Basically involved sleeping on the sofa downstairs and getting up at all hours of the night to make sure the dog goes out when he needs to, and it worked. He's been fine for weeks.

Until this morning when he did it again in the house (even though the back door was wide open), and then in my car on the way to the park.

Spoke to bf and yep, he's been letting the dog go in the house again because he's too tired to get up.

I have told him to pack a bag and get to his mums. I can't even look at him right now. AIBU to tell him not to bother coming back?

Are you taking the dog out for a walk before you go out?

who is exercising the dog?

Good for you. He has been lying to you and causing your joint pet needless upset, letting an animal poo all over your house and not cleaning it properly, allowed you to pay for the vets and your poor dog going through it. To those free passing him because he works nights that’s not an excuse he should have continued with the dog walker or at least discussed it with OP and explained it wasn’t working for him and the dog was being neglected so they could have fixed it. He couldn’t be bothered though. You did right to kick him out, he has no respect for you, your dog, your home or himself (if he’s willing to live in a shit stained dirty house).

Good decision OP he sounds like a complete loser - you can do better.

So sorry to derail but I have been beating myself up about not getting to bed on time if I get in late and you have all explained to me why I can’t. I have been so unkind to myself, waking up early even if I have been up late. I don’t understand why I didn’t know this, but thank you all.

Your dog your responsibility.If you got up earlier and took it for a proper walk it would get its bowel moving.

Read the goddamn thread.

Yes exactly. My old boy in his final few days became incontinent. I'd never seen him look ashamed before.
I suspect this poor doggie is also ashamed and possibly having discomfort because he'll hold it in until he literally can't any longer.

In fairness, there doesn't seem to be any reason why the OP can't walk the dog before work apart from that it's getting old and doesn't want to get up at 5am anymore?

Lots of dog owners are in that position but they still get up, put a lead on and take their dog for a potter. Just letting it out in the garden clearly isn't working.

In fairness, women don't have to set themselves on fire to keep men warm.

Oh, and RTFT.

There also isn't any reason why her boyfriend can't take the dog for a walk and a shit instead of lazing around the house all day.

From the op around 10.50am

We bought the dog together. Joint commitment, and he agreed he would take responsibility in the mornings

They should both be taking the dog out.

But given OP is the one awake and getting ready for work at 5am, it makes more sense for it to be her who does the morning toilet break, rather than expecting the boyfriend to get up half through the “night” to sort it?

It’s not about “setting herself on fire” it’s about doing right by her dog 🤨

She's said she does take the dog outside. It appears that the time she is around before work doesn't align with her dog's bowel movements, whereas the time her boyfriend is doing fuck all at home does.

Bye bye lazy f%£# boyfriend 👋

She also says she used to take the dog for a walk in the mornings but no longer does.

Of course you can’t force a dog to poo but it’s very common for them need a walk to get their bowels going.

All I’m trying to say is that if it was my dog pooing in the house everyday, I would be changing my behaviour to see if that made a difference as you can’t force someone else to change theirs.

No shit Sherlock, the whole point of the post is that she can't force her "lazy fuck" of a boyfriend to change his behaviour.

The answer is to dump the lazy fuck of a boyfriend who is clearly adding nothing to her life except stress and extra cleaning tasks.

I never said she shouldn’t dump him

But she also needs to change her own behaviour for her dogs’ benefit. That part has nothing to do with the boyfriend.

This.

How old is the dog Op?

The thread is about her boyfriend, not her dog.

The op isn’t going to dump this man
this “relationship” has been going on for 9 years and the op says lots of other issues too
it will limp on indefinitely

Oh and @ThrowingHands, whether you dump your lazy fuck of a boyfriend or not, you're going to have to get the dog walker back.

If your boyfriend is ashamed to be seen by the dog walker lazing around during the day and not taking his own bloody dog for a walk, too right, he should be ashamed.

I do apologise - I didn’t realise you were the thread police 👮

It is a fair point though