Furious at my lazy fuck of a boyfriend.

[ThrowingHands]

A couple of months ago, I began to notice our dog was pooing in the house and I couldn't figure out why. He's an older dog so took him to the vet to try and figure out if it was fecal incontinence due to his other health issues. Vet said unlikely. Thought we were going to have to run more invasive tests until bf announces yeah he's been doing it for weeks.

I said well what have you been doing about it? He said nothing because he's been sleeping. He works an evening shift and gets to bed quite late, and has been letting the dog shit in the house rather than wake up before 11am to see to him.

I was fizzing. Not least because he also said he doesnt clean the floor the dog has pooped on. Just picks up the poo and wipes the area with a dry paper towel if needed. Fucking gross.

I took a week off work annual leave and retrained the dog again. Basically involved sleeping on the sofa downstairs and getting up at all hours of the night to make sure the dog goes out when he needs to, and it worked. He's been fine for weeks.

Until this morning when he did it again in the house (even though the back door was wide open), and then in my car on the way to the park.

Spoke to bf and yep, he's been letting the dog go in the house again because he's too tired to get up.

I have told him to pack a bag and get to his mums. I can't even look at him right now. AIBU to tell him not to bother coming back?

Please say you don’t have children with him and you’re not pregnant?

Well done for not putting up with this shit, literally.

Well done. Not at all unreasonable

No children. No plans to have children.

Correction : ex boyfriend.

I'm confused, what time does he finish work? I assume you let the dog out in the morning before you leave.

Makes a change to similar mumsnet threads!!

He gets home at 1am, but chooses to stay up until 3/4am. I do let the dog out in the morning before I leave but he normally just has a pee.

Why would you let an ex boyfriend back? I mean... he is an ex right? Because I can't see him being kind to your dog in other ways if he can't even let him out for a wee. I would always be wondering if he shouted at the dog, or pushed him roughly, or didn't feed him enough/on time.

Stand your ground, this is beyond disgusting. There's no need to ever let this revolting person anywhere near you ever again. Fucking gross 🤮

Most people can’t finish work and go straight to sleep. I think finishing at 1 and going to bed at 3 and then waking up at 11 is reasonable. You need to talk your dog out for walk in the morning or get a dog walker.

Animal neglect or cruelty is an immediate deal breaker. You would be extremely unreasonable to ever allow him back.

What a thoughtless, lazy, disgusting human.

Edit: yes, I agree with PP that in future you could get a dog walker etc, but I would always inconvenience myself for an animal and wake up OR I would sit my partner down and say to them that I couldn't let the dog out rather than just letting it suffer and not saying anything.

And besides.... He cleanes up poo with a dry paper towel.
That alone is a deal breaker. Gross

To be fair, I used to work late, could never go straight to sleep afterwards. Who's going to let the dog out now?

What time do you get home from work? Do you go to bed 2 hours after getting home?

working late has an impact on your mind and body so understandable he can’t go straight to bed.

How long can the dog go without needing to go? If it’s every few hours then it’s going to be tough to manage.

Why doesn't he let the dog out a few times before 3 or 4am? Because if he goes to bed at that time, then OP gets up at 6 or 7 (I'm assuming) then there wouldn't be an issue.

I never get the OP’s leaving their own homes in a huff

He is no doubt kicking back with a bacon sandwich enjoying having the house to himself

I have told him to pack a bag and get to his mums.

What are you talking about?

I don't think he is unreasonable not getting up in the equivalent of the middle of the night for him, every night, to let the dog out.

He was extremely unreasonable however to not mention to you, to not clear up properly, and to not try and find any other solution, and to let you re train the dog yourself

Surely there is another solution for the dog (which must be along the lines of whatever you're going to do now if you chuck the bf out).

It does sound like age might be a factor with the dog as well

If dog isn't going when op let's it out in the morning then it's likely he probably does. Op I'm assuming you feed the dog in the morning? But then you just let it out but not walk it?

You should never tolerate a man like this in your life. They are an utter waste of space.

Change the locks.

This is animal cruelty. A trained dog will be distressed when they poo in the house as they know it’s a last resort. Poor thing, must have been so desperate.

I couldn’t be with someone like that. Trust your gut OP! X

This is disgusting. The house must absolutely stink of dog shit.

The boyfriends is a complete loser. Get rid for good as of today and make new plans for the dog and a happy new single life loser free.

Poor dog, especially as you say he's elderly and has health issues.

Your BF is grim and he quite clearly only cares about himself. You are going to dump him aren't you? He's not long term, life partner material if this is how he treats animals.

I worked nightshifts for 6 years and I did go to bed as soon as I got in. But I know it can have an impact on your body. He can go to bed at 1am and get up at 8am when it's something that benefits him though.

He's an irresponsible, unhygienic lazy twat and he neglects animals... that would give me the ick and be a deal breaker.

How long have you been together/ had the dog and whos dog is it? Once you get rid of the useless man feom your house, it doesn't sound like your lifestyle is really set up to care for the dog very well and perhaps a dog walker might improve the dogs quality of life.