Furious at my lazy fuck of a boyfriend.

[ThrowingHands]

A couple of months ago, I began to notice our dog was pooing in the house and I couldn't figure out why. He's an older dog so took him to the vet to try and figure out if it was fecal incontinence due to his other health issues. Vet said unlikely. Thought we were going to have to run more invasive tests until bf announces yeah he's been doing it for weeks.

I said well what have you been doing about it? He said nothing because he's been sleeping. He works an evening shift and gets to bed quite late, and has been letting the dog shit in the house rather than wake up before 11am to see to him.

I was fizzing. Not least because he also said he doesnt clean the floor the dog has pooped on. Just picks up the poo and wipes the area with a dry paper towel if needed. Fucking gross.

I took a week off work annual leave and retrained the dog again. Basically involved sleeping on the sofa downstairs and getting up at all hours of the night to make sure the dog goes out when he needs to, and it worked. He's been fine for weeks.

Until this morning when he did it again in the house (even though the back door was wide open), and then in my car on the way to the park.

Spoke to bf and yep, he's been letting the dog go in the house again because he's too tired to get up.

I have told him to pack a bag and get to his mums. I can't even look at him right now. AIBU to tell him not to bother coming back?

I think YABU. Your dog your responsibility! When you get up you should let the dog out and take for a walk, if walking not an option then you need to let him out for long enough he does a poo. He should then be able to go the 4 or so hours until your BF surfaces. A dog that can’t go 4hrs either isn’t trained or has something else wrong. It’s up to you to sort it out.
m you can’t expect someone else to get up in the middle of their ‘night’ to sort your dog out regularly.

OP used to walk the dog before work and now doesn't because apparently the dog can't cope with a walk.

Now the dog poos in the house.

I'm failing to see why that's the boyfriends' fault? OP needs to take her dog out, even if that means driving to some grass or just letting him potter on a lead. Even the oldest dogs can cope with a gentle potter - and if this particular dog can't, it sounds like it would possibly be kinder to have it put to sleep.

RTFT. I do let him out in the mornings before work.

Now read the updates

The b/f is awful

I know.

But you said you used to walk him and now don't, and then the dog started pooing in the house. Letting him out clearly isn't enough, you need to take him out for a walk!

Why don't people RTFT?

Best news I have read this morning. Imagine how he would have coped with nappies!

I can't make the dog poo on command. If he doesn't go in the mornings when I let him out (I try multiple times if he's up), what am I supposed to do?

Why would you want to share living space with this vile, selfish and unhygienic person?

I think you are both being unreasonable for having a dog in the first place when you aren't able to give it a routine.

Your different working hours are confusing the dog so it can't have a regular bowel movement. Sometimes you are training it to go when it suits your hours and DP when it suits his.
People who work nights do need to sleep during the day. If he is working with machinery, driving HGVs or cars it's dangerous to have interrupted sleep. I wouldn't call that lazy.

The OP was having a dog walker take him but then the boyfriend offered to do it. You can’t blame her that he is such a lazy arse.

No, you can't make him poo on command, but you can do more than just let him into the garden. Put his lead on and take him for a walk up the road - many, many dogs need that stimulation in order to poo. It would probably take you less time than letting him out in the garden constantly.

If that doesn't work then yes, fair enough, but you owe it to your dog to at least try, surely?

If he can't cope with a short 5-10 minute potter, then I'd be looking at his quality of life.

I don't blame her, but equally if my dog was suffering, I would do whatever it takes to make him comfortable. I wouldn't just leave it and blame someone else.

The poor dog must be so bloody confused! And. it is being neglected by your lazy, obnoxious twat of a bf. Don't let him back into your home - just concentrate on being the responsible dog owner that you clearly are.

Surely he's now an ex-boyfriend. Surely they're not coming back from this level of lazy, disgusting behaviour that is grossly unfair to a living creature.

Ugh he needs to be an ex-boyfriend. What a lazy fucker he is! Poor dog being examined by vets when it’s not needed. The dog would not want to poo indoors because the dog is presumably house trained. How confusing for your poor dog.

That pisses me off too. He watched me be so worried about it, came with me to the vets, let me pay for the vet appointment and didn't say a bloody word until it was mentioned about having further tests.

Good. No reason to stay with him then, surely.

This 100%!

Honestly, get rid of the loser! He has shown you who he really is.

@ThrowingHands

This! ⬆️ Ugh. Ditch him. And tell everyone why!!

You can’t let this guy back! After all the hard work you put in - absolutely no respect for you whatsoever and as for the dog, I couldn’t be with someone who treated a dog like that.

It's reasonable when you have no responsibility. My BIL works nights but still sees to the dogs needs. He just gets up, deals with what the dog needs, and goes back to bed. He has no choice some days because my sister works shifts and isn't always there.

I used to get up at 5am to walk the dog before getting into the office for 830am, because at that point in time DH worked shifts and sometimes had to be on site much further away by 7am. But on his days off he'd take her.

A dog is a responsibility. One you shouldn't have if you can't make the right compromise for it.

YANBU. It's so hard to untrain them. Bless your old doggo for relearning at his grand old age.

I bought a puppy that was raised in a terraced home with no garden and they let them all shit and piss on cloth which they endlessly washed in two washing machines that must have been going 24/7.

Getting that pup to stop pissing and shitting on cloth nearly broke me and working with animals was my day job. Any coat sleeve in a pub garden or blanket or dog bed or the corner of a table cloth was a toilet as far as he was concerned.

All they had to do was set up a play pen with a cat litter base or shavings or better still stop breeding pups and keeping dogs that never see the light of day.

If he lets the dog out at 3am before going to bed, he should be ok til the morning. If you run well him before work, he’ll be fine til your bf wakes up at 11. He can then take him for a midday walk. Working those hours, you can really expect him to be up earlier.
How old is your dog? Fecal incontinence is often an issue with older dogs. My dog is 15 and quite often has accidents even though we walk him 4 times a day.
No excuse whatsoever for your bf not cleaning up properly though.