DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

I completely understand how you’re feeling, although I don’t feel like that at all myself anymore. I do remember feeling like this around your age when I had been with my now husband only 1 year. He wrote something but it was a bit bland and I had seen other people have such cute or lovely posts from boyfriends and I guess just felt a bit left out or like he didn’t love me as much or wasn’t as excited to show me off or something. Anyways, many years of marriage later, a few kids and I loathe social media and I couldn’t care less at this stage, in fact, it makes me cringe. Please don’t lose a good one over this. I suspect you also won’t care (might even cringe) in a few years. He sounds like he’s made a lovely effort for you in real life and that’s what matters!

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

this 👆, this is all you should care about in the grand scheme of things. Don’t ruin a good relationship by worrying because your neighbour and some girls you went to uni with don’t see your best selfies from the last year rounded up into one Facebook post. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

There’s only one embarrassing thing in this story

I am not really fussed about social media but I know it means a lot to my husband so I do it. It’s not exactly a hardship is it.

am really grateful for the day I had, and I know not everyone is big on socials. But my point is surely that if you know something is important to your partner, you can compromise sometimes?

Even one of my best friends messaged me last night to ask if everything was okay as DP hadnt acknowledged my birthday, and that’s really embarrassing.

Your friends sound as moronic as you

I use Instagram and see these posts, have made a few myself over the years for my husband but he would never ever do it for me on his sparsely used isntagram account, as he's just not that type and if I pushed him to, it wouldn't be "in his voice" if you know what I mean.

So much of social media is fake and this scenario is the perfect example, a lovely day ruined by wanting a performative message to others from someone who simply doesn't use social media that way, so would feel ultra fake too. It wouldn't be a reflection of real life and therefore best to have left him alone and let him show his love for you as he did, in person. It doesn't need to be for all the world to see. Concerned friends chiming in need to also recognise that not everyone uses socials like they do.

You are being entirely unreasonable. If I were him, i would be rethinking the relationship.

Ffs......grow up

this sort of thing makes me glad I’ve been married 300 years before all this nonsense was a thing

I'm embarrassed for you.

Why not say to him, DP I care less about what you've actually done and how much you actually care, and more about showing off to my friends online. See what he says.

maybe he's grown up a bit since then?

There's another thread going with a lady that turned 50 and her partner had spent a whole year telling her how amazing her birthday was going to be, how he was going to spoil her. Turns out he did NOTHING. Then we have your scenario where you're treated like an actual princess for your birthday and all that matters to you is the fake declaration of love on SM? Really? As others have said, be grateful for what you HAVE. Social media is the thief of joy!

Your answer to your friend should have been that that of course your DP had acknowledged you birthday and had organized a lovely day for you.

He doesn't use SM much so why post a big gushing happy birthday on it?? Why do you need your relationship to be validated by a SM post ????

You want to force him to do something he's not comfortable with - I'd run a mile if I were him.

There's only one way this thread is going... poof💨 Usual MN bs note, but we all know it's because OP didn't get the answer she wanted.
Did @BrightLJ seriously expect agreement?

There is a saying - the more you see of a relationship on social media, the less it exists in real life.

Yes, it's dreadfully embarrassing that a grown woman's first thought wouldn't have been 'Well obviously he wished her happy birthday in person' 😳

I honestly despair at the showy world we live in now.

My best friend and her husband go out a lot together, to the theatre, restaurants, museums etc.

And yet one of our other friends assumed they never go anywhere because they never 'check in' on social media 🤦‍♀️

Is your best friend 16?

Honestly I think you all need to grow up, and my husband & I are only in our twenties ourselves!

If my husband took a huff because we’d had a lovely day together but I hadn’t posted about it on Instagram I’d simply have to laugh

You asked him to post performatively to save you from embarrassment, and not because it is important to you, because surely the fact that you had to ask for it takes away any of the spontaneous loving meaning it would have held.

Sorry the responses are so mean OP. I know this can sometimes feel like you're the odd one out when most men do post (not just teenagers 🙄)

Is he usually one for social media? I've stopped doing birthday posts as i'm not on much

Please don't be true.

Are you serious, OP?

Is there any hope for the world??? 🙈

My DP aren't even on each other's SM but we're old and do normal stuff like wishing each other happy birthday in person or arranging real life celebrations - oh yes, just like yours did.

It's no wonder so many of your generation are screwed up through social media - this is just creating a problem where one doesn't exist for the sake of appearing all special in front of your friends.

Your best friend sounds like a bit of a shit-stirrer.

I've never acknowledged DH's birthday on social media and if he started posting about mine, I'd think he'd lost his mind.

Besides, if he posted now, it would hardly be legitimate or genuine, would it?

Oh my god, get a grip. Social media is meaningless.