DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

He deserves better. What a 2D character you sound.

I would cringe inside out if my DH did that ti me. In fact, I would assume he was trying to finish with me.

It’s 2025, things probably were easier back in the day but for people my age, socials are part of relationships whether we like it or not..I’m not obsessed with it at all, I really appreciate the in person things. But there’s certain standards we can demand from our men and I won’t apologise for that.

Maybe he was embarrassed after showing off his previous relationship that ended. Maybe he just grew out of using social media in the past few years. It's not up to you how other people use social media. Maybe his ex was really controlling and forced him to post that. It's really weird of you to be so fixated on a social media post TBH. Let it go and live your life IRL not for other people's consumption online.

Honestly is there anything else on your world other than ‘me me me me me me me me me me it’s all about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’

Shallower than a puddle after a 2 minute rain shower

Oh no, not the dreaded Hun word!!

I think I’m beginning to form an imagine in my mind, mad about social media, calls strangers hun🙄

If you start demanding men post about you on social media you're going to be single PDQ

I’m all over social media and never in a zillion years would I expect that. What makes you so desperate for that?!

Why do you need showing off?

DH posts nothing except the odd stupid meme. Everyone knows we're together. Everyone important knows we're happy, and if they don't then it's because they don't actually know us.

If anyone asked him, he'd happily tell them how much he loves me. Same for me with him. Real love doesn't need "showing off*. It just is.

😀😀

The only thing you should be doing is apologising to your dp for behaving like such a spoiled brat, @BrightLJ.

What matters is his actions - all that he DID to give you a wonderful birthday - not SM posts so your shallow and vapid friends can see how special you are.

I have three sons and I would be appalled if they went out of their way to spoil their partner on their birthday, and then got whinged at because they didn’t go in for some SM wank.

Basically, how you look, and how things look to your friends matters more to you than this man’s feelings, and the effort he put into your birthday. He deserves better.

Others? You mean previous bf’s who you no longer date?

And then what? A 'tattoo' because it would 'mean so much' to the OP?

That is so funny 😂

What an absolute pile of horse shite

I’m laughing out loud here. You realise posting “happy birthday” on Facebook isn’t a “standard”, yeah?

You have zero right to demand anyone posts anything on social. Seriously, he needs to check out of this relationship. What you are doing is seriously unhealthy and bordering towards abusive.

And a social media post isn't a "standard". Standards are how you are treated in the real world. Not how it looks like you're being treated in the online world.

There are standards that men deserve too, @BrightLJ - like gratitude and a bit of maturity from their partners.

I hope my sons never have such a vacuous gf. Luckily so far so good.

I think this post says it all. I know you're joking, but jokes usually have a grain of truth to them. You don't have the right to tell him to delete Insta.

They’re really not. You are a year older than me. I have a very successful career and life is great. I have a huge friendship base. I would literally die if my DH posted anything other than pictures of cars or generic crap I have no interest in. I last posted on instagram last year It’s just so dull, boring and oh so tacky.

Hun says it all really.

Respectfully, your boyfriend isn’t obliged to adopt your idiotic priorities at any age.

I post fairly frequently on Instagram, but I’m not sure anyone would know I had a husband.