DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

"I think I’m going to just tell him to delete insta then it will avoid the hassle next year 😂"

I think he should channel his inner Usain Bolt.

Really really immature behaviour op.

It isn’t about your age op. It’s about character. Yours and your friends, is fake. Only interested in what something looks like to others, not what they are actually like.
it is about immaturity, but there are 60 years olds still making twats of themselves on social media, so it’s not age, but it is immature.
you have shown yourself on this thread to be fake, immature, vain, image obsessed; if I was him I would have dumped you hours ago for these characteristics.
youve mentioned a few times he should do it ‘because you would like it.’ No. Because what you want is embarrassing to people with integrity. A bit like if someone asked me to make a tit of myself in public because they would like it. No.

Are you seriously drawing a comparison between a sexual preference and an anti-social media post? And a sexual preference which has no relevance to this thread at all. Meanwhile, back in the real world ... 🙄

Mix of views..

Oh dear, you're very needy.

"A mix of views"? 99% think YABU and just 1% don't - that's not much of a "mix"! Dealing with reality isn't a strength for you, is it OP?

Yikes.

That comes across as very controlling @BrightLJ

Imagine if it was reversed and a man was making his partner delete social media because she wasn't using it how he wanted...

Really?
How did that conversation go?
Hi is everything OK i noticed he didn't wish you happy birthday? You must be devastated.
Oh I am because if it's not on social media no one will know he lurves me!

You can’t dictate to him what social media apps he should delete. That’s mental!

Respectfully, you are coming across like a petulant child and you are being absolutely ridiculous.

Like other posters have said- social media is not real life. He doesn’t need to declare his love for you or wish you happy birthday on Instagram or Facebook.

You sound more concerned that you want your friend and family to see it and for them to think “Aww what a nice boyfriend she has”.

Honestly. I may be best if you are the one that deletes social media. Please go and touch grass and be very, very thankful that you have a nice partner who has made a great effort on your birthday. And grow up.

I’m also same age group as you and I stopped wishing people happy birthday on Insta and Facebook YEARS ago 😂

huh? I wouldn't even know how to make a 'insta reel' but if you tried to 'tell' me to delete my Instagram account, I'd tell you to get lost

And we wonder why younger generations have mental health issues 🙄

Sorry I didn’t word that very well!

I meant it in a ‘if you don’t use it why keep it’ kind of way - means people don’t think he is ignoring my existence despite being in a year long relationship 😂

People are still not getting through to you are they! You still dont see the problem.

Childish and immature, not unreasonable. Hopefully one day you learn to appreciate what matters and what's important in a relationship - it isn't SM.

This use of laugh emojis is just adding to the impression you're immature and petulant, OP.

Well, my brain shrank 25% reading this thread so could be a contributory factor.

So what would you do? Announce to the world that he'd deleted it? How would they know any different?
I've got loads of apps i hardly use but no one tells me what i can and can't have on my phone. I have a little nose on Instagram maybe every few weeks. What is the cut off? Is that enough use to have your permission to leave it on my phone?

I would wonder why this public display of affirmation is so important to you, if things are otherwise great?

You can’t tell someone what they can or can’t do with their own social media! He may have posted birthdays a few years ago but he’s likely grown out of it now and it’s no longer the done thing. Stop trying to control him. He is obviously treating you very well but hes not kowtowing to your neediness for PSAs and good for him. Count your blessings.

That doesn’t sound any better and comes across as very controlling and childish. It doesn’t matter if he uses it or not, it’s not your place to tell him to close his accounts or acknowledged your birthday on instagram for your nosy childish friends to see and react to.

Is this for real? Your use of laughing emojis show you don’t get the point people are making and see it all about you and your need for social media attention and validation.

Oh shit. I think you really need help with your skewed views of social media/reality OP. This is seriously unhealthy.

Hope you’ve not scared him off permanently.

When your immature friends ask why he didn't advertise on sm all he'd done for you just tell them he lives in the real world and gave you a lovely day. He doesn't need to announce it to the world.

Why do so many people call their boyfriends ‘partner’?

You've been together a year and your main concern is insta posts. That doesn’t scream ‘life partner’ or ‘significant other’ to me. It screams ‘bloke I got off with at Cinderella’s nightclub and am still seeing’.