DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

The OP is the type who posts daily filtered selfies and checks in on FB every time she has as shit isn’t she?

My DH usually posts on my birthday but I rarely do on his just because we are different re social media use. He’s likes to mark events whereas I rarely put anything. He’s not fussed and we always have a lovely day together. I think that’s the most important thing. I think maybe your insecurities are creeping in to make you feel that this means something but I don’t think it does. Someone could put the most gushing social media post but you might actually have a really rubbish day with them. To the world it looks amazing but the reality is that it is not. Focus on what’s between you both in the here and now.

You dipstick, Rodney.

I would hazard a guess that it won't be a problem at all next year...

I doubt he will be around next Birthday.
But you think you are going to tell him to ditch his insta! WOW just wow.

I’m early thirties so not much older than you. None of my friends really post on insta any more or care about birthday posts. You all sound really immature - the fact that your friend questioned whether everything is ok because he didn’t post is insane! It’s like you’re 15. Your bf sounds like the only mature one amongst you.

99% YABU in almost 2000 posts is not 'a mix of views', sweetheart.

We might be old and terminally uncool but we can do maths.

Excuse moi. 😂
That's more Gen Z. The youngest millenials are 29 this year!
We keep getting slack for their stuff. I hope we will soon be forgotten and left alone like X😂

Good god the second hand cringe from this post is almost too mortifying for words. I cannot believe that you were passive-aggressive "frosty" with him after he went to the trouble of giving you a really nice day. How utterly embarrassing.

It's not your age, I'm not much older than you and if I were your partner I would be running for the hills!

These sort of nonsense posts on insta or Facebook are always cringeworthy. I think it's the most insecure relationships that go big on the public declarations of love all over socials. Case in point....you posting about your partner on his birthday. I would imagine he'll have ditched you before his next one!

You're as deep as a puddle aren’t you!

Mixed views? There are 2010 votes and 99% of those say yabu, not really all that mixed 🤣

I struggle to believe this is a genuine post.

I appreciate a lot of younger people are obsessed with their socials but this is madness!

Talk about selling your soul to techno capitalism.

‘I think I’m going to just tell him to delete insta then it will avoid the hassle next year 😂’

Jesus Christ. I am your age range OP and you need to grow the fuck up. I barely know anyone who posts birthday messages to their partners on socials because it’s seen as very cringe. This is your age bracket. I think you’ve lost the plot and you sound immature, ungrateful and controlling.

Is this real? He was with you and celebrated your birthday, he has explained doesn’t like social media. He probably found your birthday post for him deeply cringe and embarrassing but was too polite to say anything.

Are you 16?

OP I take it you’re not a teenager. 🤦🏼‍♀️

If this is real he needs to find someone with more substance.

And I bet his ex pressured him into posting like you are now. Stop being so needy. Posting about you means nothing, it’s al for show! Value what he does for you in REAL life.

To be honest, I think you need to apologise to him. You had a lovely day with him and that is all that matters.

I bet the poor bloke has gone to the pub with his mates and said ‘I bought her thoughtful presents, wrote a nice card, spent the day doing nice things and now she’s got the hump because I didn’t post on Facebook about loving her to the moon and back’.

Of all the trivial things! My husband (of 35 years) doesn't even follow me on social media, nor do I follow him. If someone says happy birthday to your actual face, and gives you a card and a gift, why do you need something on SM too? It's so naff and tacky, and I don't know anyone who would do it. Maybe, OP, just appreciate your partner for the nice man that he is?

It isn't about age. I have a young adult dd in a relationship of nearly 3 years. Neither she nor her BF would post on social media for each other's birthdays. She would find it really cringeworthy and way too performative.

It's just so cringe when partners wish each other happy birthday on social media - I think you've got a sensible one there OP.

My youngest niece is 19 and has had the same boyfriend for 4 years. She NEVER posts about their birthdays or anything else on social media.