DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

You could have just said “nah, he doesn’t do that sort of thing” and shrugged it off. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

I think you need to break up with him, he doesn't share your values.

Are you 14?!

I don’t know what an ‘insta grid’ is, but this sort of shit makes me scared for my kids. Growing up in a world where people care more about their image on social media, than actual real life connections.

Er no, what a load of nonsense about “advertising” her. Some people just prefer not to live their lives on social media and find gushing posts cringe af.

LTB you can do much better, get a real man that posts endearing posts all over SM, but does fuck all in real life.

Much better for your image.

He isn't a social media monkey.

Nah. There's no way your friend messaged you asking if everything was OK as he hadn't posted anything. Haha nope.

I'm embarrassed for you.

Sorry this is pathetic… you had a lovely day with him and you spoilt it.. he’ll be thinking you are hard work. the only time I would assume he might post is if he was a prolific social media user who posted all the time about stuff.

Maybe he's not a shallow, 'Look at meeee! Loooook at meeeee!' type that loves to brag.

you know he is going to probably leave you as will think you are completely immature and not someone he wants to be in an adult relationship with. Plus the fact you are annoyed with him cos he didn't post on SM despite all the lovely things he did will just show him you are an ungrateful cow and he's better off with someone else.

You don't get likes and thumbs up or whatever in real life... that's the issue I think

No, as if he posts it reflects on him, other people don't know he's only doing it as your request they will think he is the type of person that posts stuff to people he can say the words to.

Sorry to say but you are acting really juvenile. If you were apart on the day it would make sense for him to acknowledge your birthday on social media if he chose to but when you have spent the day together it is just daft. If you want you can post birthday celebrations and put some photos up of the two of you doing whatever you did on your birthday. Seems crazy to try and force him to do that, maybe he just doesn’t do that sort of thing!

Yabvu. Sounds like he made an effort in real life. What different does it make if he puts something online or not.

if you know something is important to your partner, you can compromise sometimes?

Yes, and a huge part of relationships is knowing when it’s your turn to compromise. On this one, I’d say your turn.

If it’s truly a red line, go ahead and insist on it. But be prepared to lose him.

(Similar-ish experience with an ex of mine and it almost split us up. Years later she says she can’t believe how hung up she got on trivia, making it a test of our relationship. We are still friends now, so there may be a happy ending for you, just not the one you expect!)

Grateful my arse!

totally ungrateful good on him for going home and not staying over!

And still you whinged the next day….

Pass him a message from me..run for the hills!

Right, so basically you're one of those vapid people who don't care about the reality (your partner being thoughtful and treating you well in your private life). Instead, all you care about is the version of reality that others get to see on your social media (so gushy, flashy nonsense that no one knows is sincere or not?).

Your partner should run for the hills.

Omfg! You are hard work!!!!

So your partner planned and gave you a lovely day and you ruined it by getting in a strop because he didn’t put a post on social media? This has to be the most pathetic, immature things I’ve ever read on here. I hope your partner wises up and leaves you.

Cringe. Imagine your relationship being validated by a social media post 😂. People who need to dedicate a post to their partners have bigger issues at play.

YABVVVU.
If you force him to put something on social media he will do it with gritted teeth and it will mean nothing.
How about being pleased that he gave you a lovely day out, hugs and birthday wishes?

Your complaint is invalid and worthy of a 12 yr old OP.

You're so pathetic, grow the fuck up. Hope he dumps your sorry arse.