Not Invited to Cousin's Wedding

[Caribun]

My cousin is getting married. We used to live next door to each other when we were teenagers and have always been friendly. There's no big family drama, no issues, we don't see each other frequently but text occasionally, and see each other at family gatherings.

Cousin has invited all of our family, and all of her cousins (including all my siblings) to her wedding, but hasn't invited me. I've spoken to my Mum about it who says she thinks it's because we have small children, they aren't having kids at their wedding, and we have no one to look after the kids (my entire family will be at the wedding, DH is an orphan and only child).

Whilst I appreciate that may be the case AIBU to think it would have been nice to receive just a courtesy invitation rather than just being completely ignored? I feel so hurt that it's left me in tears and I can't really think rationally about it.

I haven't asked her directly because I don't do conflict, so I'm just quietly very sad.

Wow what a horrible response. Is there any reason you can think of or is it completely out of the blue? I think you should tell her that you are very hurt, you don’t always need to be the bigger person in these situations and it’s incredibly spiteful and rude to invite everyone except you. I’m also quite shocked at your mum tbh for justifying and what about your siblings. In a situation where I was hurt about not being invited to a wedding, I know for a fact that my parents or siblings wouldn’t attend.

Wow

That's a blunt response

I presume you replied to ask what it was you did to offend her?

Wow @Caribun thats mean, so sorry you’re being put through this.
only you can know your path but for me with not even an attempt to contact & explain to you their reasoning, it would be a fade from their life no presents or contact & move forward with your own plans. & as others have said definitely no favours for the wedding!!
Also I’m petty but I would be disappointed in any of ‘my’ family who didn’t object on your behalf!!!🤣 but maybe that’s just me.
sends hugs.

You must be political dynamite 🧨 if you do this? Wta?

Wow, I'm shocked. I would want to ask why at this point. Does no-one in your family have a single clue why? How cold hearted she sounds. I'm so desperately sorry @Caribun How hurtful and upsetting and jarring. The fact you haven't posted again tells me you are hurting badly. I really don't know what to say. How awful 😢

If there is no backstory, how are your parents and siblings OK with her singling you out like this?

That is so bizarre OP. She gave no reason???

Yeah, I am wondering this too. It's so weird.

At the next family gathering (after the wedding) I'd be proclaiming loudly at my lack of invite & watch everyone squirm. Awful behaviour.

I feel the OP's mother and siblings should be standing in solidarity with her and refusing to go to the cousin's wedding.

It wasn’t obvious though…

Agree

It very much was obvious. You can tell when you haven't been invited to something when you haven't been invited.

I had to exclude my cousin from being a bridesmaid although she was invited to the wedding.
Many reasons, didn't want any drama but mostly she tried it on 3 times with my fiancé when he was my boyfriend.
I gave her 3 chances, asked her to stop twice but she carried on.
She was lucky to be invited.
I've had to go NC with her as she is totally untrustworthy.
I hope you haven't done anything similar as she has literally excluded you so it must be something bad to do that.
You need to ask your siblings and mom individually to get to the bottom of it.
No use rethinking every past encounter.
You need back up and truth from your siblings asap to see if it's a misunderstanding before it escalates.
Best wishes xx

Could this be an error? It seems odd that she would ask everyone else but you, especially as you used to be close. I'd just ask her or someone close to her.

Op has replied @Judecb - not a mistake. Cousin deliberately didn't invite her.

Omg the cousin said no not invited.
Click on the filter at the top and click on the top OP to see OP updates only

I have 4 adult children. 3 of them were invited to my nephew's wedding but one wasn't. I called my sister in law (the mother of the groom) and asked, in a very friendly way, if this was an oversight. She said that the invites had gone to my son's old address and of course he was invited - so please ask, or get your mum to ask!

OP has done this now, and the cousin just coldly messaged back 'no error, you are not invited.' As I said, at this point I would be asking why, when everyone else in the family is invited!

@CrowsInMyGarden OP has asked her cousin if it was an oversight, and it wasn't. OP is not invited. I might ask my mum to ask her why though if I was too shy/embarrassed to ask.

are your mum and siblings still going??

No way would I go still if I were them. WTF.

How rude

Does anyone at MNHQ ever listen? There needs to be a thumb up and also a bollocks buttons!

oh that’s rotten. I think it’s because you have small kids. It’s kid free so she’s not taking chance on you asking if you can bring them. Equally not giving you opportunity to say - Thanks just me as DH will stay at home with kids.
Hope your mum and siblings don’t go

Also I’m petty but I would be disappointed in any of ‘my’ family who didn’t object on your behalf!!!🤣 but maybe that’s just me.

I don't think it's at all petty. You would like to think that your family has your back. My relationship with my siblings has definitely been affected when they accepted the invitation in a similar situation and continue their relationship as normal with the relative, all while telling me their treatment of me was appalling.

As I told one of my siblings, unfortunately, there isn't always a fence to sit on.