Did I handle this situation wrongly? Man at train station

[Allthewayinbatterycity]

I was in the waiting room at a busy station and a lad who looked to be in his early 20s was standing at the door with his hands down the front of his trousers. I looked to make sure it wasn't pockets but it definitely wasn't.

I am just a bit fed up of what I've seen recently from predominantly men on public transport. Loud sniffing/snorting every 2 seconds, farting, burping, spitting. Most are not like this but it's hard to take the train these days without any of the above.

Anyway I said to the man quietly, why do you have your hands down your trousers in a public area, that's disgusting.
With hindsight I should've just reported him to the train staff. He started shouting at me and I just walked off. But as I say I maybe should've just reported it.

I am with you, OP. I dont get that either. I think its easier to tolerate it that push against, I am afraid.

Totally. I did that with my kids when they were younger. If you confront they get aggressive. If you embarrass then they feel embarrassed and are less likely to lash out.

I suffered verbal sexual abuse on a train recently. Packed train so couldn't sit anywhere else and the conductor didn't come through. I've reported and police are treating it as a crime.
I daresay the man would say it was just banter with his mates. If he hadn't had them as an audience he wouldn't have said anything I'[m sure.

Why do men think this kind of stuff is acceptable.

Shocked at how many are defending a man having his hands down his pants! There's just no need, women manage not to fondle themselves. Even if a quick adjustment is necessary, and a private place can't possibly be found, surely it should be over and done long before anyone has a chance to tell you off for it. I they want to keep their hands warm, pockets or gloves rather than their ballsack please.
OP, you're brave. And men are gross.

Those of you who would have turned a blind eye are shocking

I had a guy do this in an office. Disgusting stuff. Men who are not dragged up do not do this,

Yes I reported him. He seemed surprised it was unacceptable

I agree. They don't know how they are coming over sometimes.
The other day I was in a train full of very drunk football supporters (winning side) and a group came to occupy the other 3 seats in my table. I got up and said I'd let them have the table to themselves, and they practically wept. 'Oh, no, stay, we don't want to drive you away, we really really want to sit with you, we won't be any trouble...' It was rather sweet. But I moved anyway, to get away from the noise.

Of course you can report him for anti social behaviour to the station staff!

It's revolting and I agree getting worse, trains are disgusting these days.

What is with some responses? “Not doing anything wrong”

most men don’t wipe themselves after they’ve urinated. Putting their hands down their pants to fiddle with their genitals and then holding on train rails, pressing buttons at self check outs etc. it’s disgusting

What is wrong with you?

No - it's not 'a thing'

I would have done the same.

Again with the lack of awareness - a single woman does not want to be pressured by a group of 3 men ffs - 'we really really want to sit with you' is creepy coming from 3 strangers. They should have just left you to it.

Whilst I find this disgusting, the same as men with their trousers around their knees, I wouldn’t have said anything as you’re definitely going to get a mouthful. I’d have just moved away.

Its gross and unacceptable, but it is also definitely a thing.
All the young men i see around town etc nowadays have their hands tucked into their waistband. Saw one literally yesterday walking a dog with his gf/partner, shes got the dog on the lead and hes got a hand in his pants.
Im often tempted to tell them if they carry on its likely to fall off but if i did it would be pretty much all i said on repeat when out in public.

@verv oh well I guess it is. Doesn't make it okay really.

How did you think it would play out...? People behave worse than animals on public transport, it's depressing, women are just as bad as men! Feet and bags on the seats, vaping because they can't wait 5 minutes to taste their bubblegum lung vapour...music, conversations on speakerphone, tbh I let the turds get on with it because they're not the kind of people who will be reasonable if confronted.

@Polkadotbabushka trouble is that no one ever says anything, and before you know it - it's 'a thing' and seemingly acceptable in society.

I think the OP was brave to speak out - to be fair, not sure if I would have the balls 😅 excuse the pun there - awful

YANBU, it is utterly revolting!

I think you could report him to the train staff. It is intimidating if you are there alone and someone is blocking the doorway with his hands in his pants. It could be construed as indecent if he has got hands in his pants in a room with a lone woman at a train station - the fact you can't see his willy doesn't mean he isn't touching it. He would probably end up on a list if there were kids about and the cctv footage showed him with his hands in his pants for a prolonged period of time.

Besides all that, he's going to be touching all the hand rails, door handles and door buttons with his horrible penis-germy hands. Barf. 🤮

Well done OP, that was brave! I’m also sick and tired of seeing men snort and spit. I was in the town centre the other day and some guy just spat on the pavement! I mean how has this ever been acceptable? But it is among men and just common place.

WTF do people think "train staff" are going to do? They are there to drive the train, inspect your ticket, and flog you overpriced watery tea and coffee. They aren't the "OMG that MAN might be touching his own body" police.

I hate the hands down the pants. I had a parent complain because I asked her son to take his hands out of his underwear and wash his hands before using shared equipment in my classroom, I did it discreetly but he still felt embarrassed. Never mind how uncomfortable everyone else felt with him stood fiddling with his penis in front of them.

I work in a prison and young guys often come and talk to us with their hands down their pants. God knows why they do it but we call them out on it. Its not respectful to have a conversation like that!

I don't think you did anything wrong... not nice in a public place.

In the summer time i wonder if some women forget to put there clothes on and just walk out in knickers and sports bras.

Well at least we manage to keep our hands out of those "knickers"...

Yes because everything is on show.

As if men aren't wandering around shirtless at the first hint of sunshine....

So thrilled with the idea of having a penis, it's like a newly discovered toy to play with. They are so pathetic it's not real, and the worrying thing is that there are women out there having babies with these scrotes.