Did I handle this situation wrongly? Man at train station

[Allthewayinbatterycity]

I was in the waiting room at a busy station and a lad who looked to be in his early 20s was standing at the door with his hands down the front of his trousers. I looked to make sure it wasn't pockets but it definitely wasn't.

I am just a bit fed up of what I've seen recently from predominantly men on public transport. Loud sniffing/snorting every 2 seconds, farting, burping, spitting. Most are not like this but it's hard to take the train these days without any of the above.

Anyway I said to the man quietly, why do you have your hands down your trousers in a public area, that's disgusting.
With hindsight I should've just reported him to the train staff. He started shouting at me and I just walked off. But as I say I maybe should've just reported it.

I think humiliating him would be best although most are probably thick skinned!

This poster has ALL the hallmarks of a gargantuan backstepping. You'd been on tenterhooks since you initially posted, only to find you didn't strike it lucky this time. Though all the usual precursors were covered albeit in haste. Alas, perhaps next time.

That said, even if the man's behaviour bothered your sensibilities OP, you'd have been better off not giving him your attention and fretting over reporting him for standing with his hands in his trousers. It would have been interesting to read - had this gained traction - how you think people should stand so that they don't offend your sensibilities OP.

You’d be surprised at how many men do this and are completely oblivious to it. It’s like it’s hardwired in them from birth, literally tugging and tearing at it as soon as they realise they have a penis. It’s gross, unless they are doing it for other purposes I’d ignore it. If i was with my kids then I’d be saying something as it is inappropriate. I work in a school and see male staff having a reshuffle (not in front of their classes) as they walk down the corridors, teen lads do it. My DH will sit on the settee with his hand down his joggers sometimes and I am always on at it him to pack it in because it’s unnecessary and inappropriate. It hasn’t bloody ran off so there is zero need to feel for it or touch it unless he’s having a pee. With my two boys I’ve always been on at them to leave it alone if they are not alone. My MIL used to swat my DH and BIL with a rolled up newspaper!

Yes it's somewhere to put their hands.

You absolute moron 😂

I witness this nearly every time I go into my local town. Seems to be men between the ages of about 16 - 30 mostly. They have no shame. If women went around with their hands down their pants,fiddling with their bits,you can be sure something would be said to them pretty damn quickly!

I witness this nearly every time I go into my local town. Seems to be men between the ages of about 16 - 30 mostly. They have no shame. If women went around with their hands down their pants,fiddling with their bits,you can be sure something would be said to them pretty damn quickly!

You’re either extremely brave or very VERY foolish - anything could have happened to you.
I wouldn’t challenge anybody these days although would report anything if I was really, really concerned about anyone. Who knows what he could have drank or taken that morning, or if he was on medication or more frighteningly had not taken his medication, had a knife etc etc. You could have been his ‘last straw’ today.

If he were masturbating, that would be classed as public indecency which is illegal.

Yes. It would be.
But that was not mentioned in any of the posts from OP. So hence my comment stands

I agree, although if it is on railway property, you will find authorities have little power to do anything themselves for the same reason, their safety. They could call the British transport police but the miscreant is not going to hang around for two hours waiting for them to turn up. Hence we have the situation where bad behaviour goes without consequence, it evolves into an entitlement, thus calling it out is treated as if you are trying to take away their human rights. No wonder we have so many tossers in society.

There is one legitimate reason. Men have their sexual organs on the outside and sometimes they can shift into an uncomfortable position and need to be repositioned within the confines of the underwear. If there isn't a public convenience or suitably discrete area nearby the options are to attempt to subtly reposition genitals back into a comfortable position or go around walking funny until they get home. Women don't have this problem.

It's always chancy to say anything out loud & in public about anti-social behaviour. You need to be aware of your own safety.
That said, I'd've been tempted to say:
"you don't need to hold it on, y'know. It won't fall off".

Hello. Referring to me, I think? "On tenterhooks" for sure 👍🏾 Currently basing my life around responses to my comments on this thread. Perhaps consider the thoughts of the OP before attempting to engage in politics? Bye 👋

If if if. If he was stabbing someone with a knife it would be attempted murder. So what, he wasn’t. All OP said was he had his hands down his pants. Didn’t say he was fiddling around. Didn’t say he was touching anything. Nothing illegal about that. Would be laughed out the park if she reported that.

As someone who works on board I can safely say that the group that’s worst for causing trouble, being offensive, loud and inappropriate is hen parties. I would take a train full of football fans over hen dos anytime. The he amount of inappropriate behaviour from drunk middle women in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s is awful and they are far less likely to “calm down” or tone it down than the guys.
I remember one Saturday night last year, last train from a seaside town on a Saturday night, weather had been glorious so had a train full of a mixture of families with small kids and football fans. Football fans were singing and chanting and it WAS intimidating and the language was a bit colourful. One of the mums said something to the group and they shut up… couple of minutes later the noise starts up and I’m about to go and “have a word” when I listen to what is actually going on and realise this carriage of drunk football fans are now singing nursery rhymes and kids action songs and getting the kids involved and they were loving it.

Honestly unless he was actually masterbating I'm not sure what he was doing wrong. It's the way young men have walked around for years especially when they're wearing low riding trousers.

Oh I've seen plenty of women readjusting their knickers in public and their bras. But that's apparently okay!

Because their bits can move into uncomfortable positions, and most places now you either have to pay to use public toilets or cafes say you have to buy something to use them.
I see women walking around adjusting their bras and knickers all the time, it's no different!
I've seen people say that men should wear tighter underwear then - bit they absolutely should not that can cause irreversible damage!

Absolutely report all such things to British transport police Text 61016 or call 0800 40 50 40, tell them the date, time and station it happened on. No matter how minor the infraction seems. These little reports often build a picture of escalating behaviour. And public transport have so many cameras and microphones on all form of public transport. I went to a course my work recommended for the people using public transport and it was very good and informative. They want even the small issues reported.

If you’d just said the first part id have said fair dues to you but adding the it’s disgusting- what was he going to do except fire something back at you? You’re definitely not wrong with the other things you describe that you see though

Probably pubic lice.
Itchy.

I agree, it's foul.

Public transport is generally hideous, because of the public, unfortunately.

Hahaha always is

Ok, I get the general outrage at this, but can I give teenage boy's perspective? (not me, my DS). He wears shorts under his joggers, which are hugely baggy, as it's the fashion. He puts his hands inside his joggers for warmth. I know it looks terrible and suggestive, but I've called him out on it many times and he swears it's innocent. I'm not being gullible - his hands aren't moving, and he would consider it grossly disrespectful to do something like that in front of me.
So yes, it looks bad, but I don't think they realise how bad it looks.
As for noise, etc - I'm sorry, but girls can be just as bad.

And so many on here think dogs are unhygienic!