Did I handle this situation wrongly? Man at train station

[Allthewayinbatterycity]

I was in the waiting room at a busy station and a lad who looked to be in his early 20s was standing at the door with his hands down the front of his trousers. I looked to make sure it wasn't pockets but it definitely wasn't.

I am just a bit fed up of what I've seen recently from predominantly men on public transport. Loud sniffing/snorting every 2 seconds, farting, burping, spitting. Most are not like this but it's hard to take the train these days without any of the above.

Anyway I said to the man quietly, why do you have your hands down your trousers in a public area, that's disgusting.
With hindsight I should've just reported him to the train staff. He started shouting at me and I just walked off. But as I say I maybe should've just reported it.

I wouldn't have said anything unless he was actively doing something.

No this was a public waiting room and there were a few others there

I don't think this is in any way correct. Why on earth would someone punch a person for having a hand in their trousers. Again if it was merely down his trousers with no other obvious signs (erection, movement) then no matter how distasteful one finds it, there's nothing actually wrong with it. Ive seen men scratched their bums in public years ago, this is no different.

Hmm I don't know about this one.

Men, especially young men have this thing where they keep their hands in their trousers, nowhere near their penis it's more the hip and bladder area. I never know why, if it's just fashionable (weird I know), or for warmth (again, gloves would be more practical).

But the intent isn't to intimidate women or play with yourself, it's just one of those odd things they do.

I do agree it's stupid though, and can sometimes be hard to judge where their hands actually are so it would make you uncomfortable.

But why do they think it's okay. It's like toddlers doing it, okay that's acceptable but the parents would say not to do that. Now whole groups of teens walk around with their hands on their willys

I wouldn't have said anything...but I would have wanted to say "have you found it yet??"

I don't think people would have shouted 40 years ago and definitely not punched him. Also not everyone with learning difficulties needs a carer 24/7 ffs.

Id report to train staff Op, these days you just don’t know how someone will react to your comments.

Can't believe so many folk think it's perfectly fine to do this. So gross

I think next time as mentioned I should say nothing if I see it again, unless they're clearly 'doing something'

It's vile to see but I'll try to not confront them.

I am quite happy to comment at people on trains if they are doing something like feet on seats or other antisocial things. So I don't think it's a problem necessarily to comment but I can tell you almost no one responds well to these comments so you'll have to develop a thicker skin !

that applies to anyone? Shrieking girls on hen parties included.

There's a difference between thinking it's fine and thinking it's not illegal. I don't think it's nice behaviour and I'd pull up my DS if I ever saw them doing it. But just having your own hand down your trouser is not a reportable offence and it's not illegal.

This exactly. I would just not look at him.

Are you someone's Wife, or do you have Sons, with your disturbing attitude?

I wouldn't have said anything. I don't think random strangers should be trying to discipline others. If he was masturbating, I would have reported him to station staff.

It was absolutely none of your business where he had his hands, and quite frankly, you deserved to be shouted at. From what you said in your post he wasn't doing anything untoward, so all you've done is embarass a stranger in a waiting room full of people and make yourself look seriously odd in the process.

You must mix with some weird people if you think a man putting his hands down his trousers in a waiting room is normal.

wtf? Are you on drugs? It is not ok to have your hands in your pants in public. Jesus Christ.

It feels like the world.is going backwards.
A few days after the heavy policing of the women's march for Sarah Evard I arrived at Waterloo.
Getting off the train, having sat in a mask for four hours, the station is full of male football supporters singing, bellowing, hanging around. No arrests, no police for a totally predictable mass gathering of men.

Please tell me this is all just a temporary dip with a continuing rise in civilisation for all.

So as a woman i could sit with my hand clearly down my top or my trousers in full view of everyone? I just don't see it happening, even if it's not illegal.

Why would you comment? You can’t police this, and you could put yourself at risk by confronting him. If it bothered you, look away.

Agreed maybe it was incorrect to comment. But this might be bothering other people, it's just not a normal thing to do. What if someone was sitting next to you on the train doing it?

I’d have been tempted to shout, in stentorian voice, “leave it alone!”

MN is weird this morning I see. Of course it's not ok to have your hands down your trousers in public. Some of tha answers on this thread explain why public transport has become worse over recent years. People seem to feel entitled to be loud, unsociable, rude, obnoxious etc and it's everyone else's problem somehow. It's up there with the folk who play music or videos on their phones the whole journey without headphones, the ones who do FaceTime calls for all to hear, the loud hen parties and football fans, and the adults putting feet on seats. Somehow we've become a society that only wants behaviour called out if it's illegal and feels like anything else is fair game.
OP good for you for speaking up! Though I agree with others I'd have tempted to ask if he'd found it yet.